


The Devil Within

by ThePinkBlossom



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Kind of a slowburn, Mild Angst, Ragnarok AU, and oh boy what will happen..., but can't, but she does, cause Reader and Loki are meeting after years, he doesn't remember her, she wants to hate him, so basically she slowly falls for him once again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2020-12-13 23:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 58,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21006263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePinkBlossom/pseuds/ThePinkBlossom
Summary: Freed from her prison after Odin's death, Hela plans on returning to Asgard to claim the throne that was rightfully hers. Too weak, she sends her spy (Reader), to gather intel and prepare them all for the attack. But everything changes when back in Asgard, Reader unexpectedly meets her former love, Loki...





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all! I've been working on this for waaaay too long but it's finally finished! It's a Thor: Ragnarok AU, where Hela doesn't appear out of nowhere like she did in the movie, but instead she comes up with a long and cunning plan of sending a spy to gather intel for her, while she could properly prepare for a final attack and taking the throne for herself. But as you can predict, not everything will go as smoothly as she planned... That's all I can tell for now, I hope you will enjoy it and I will update new chapters regularly so stay tuned! Enjoy! :D

PROLOGUE

There was only darkness.

A cold, vast, empty darkness, with no beginning and no end. It was all around her, she was drowning in it, breathing it in, floating in it, feeling no weight of her body, almost as it has never existed. That black void was everything she knew for years, for centuries and at some point, she has learned to treat it like home, not a prison it truly was.

There was this strange comfort in being there all alone, no worries, no hunger, no death… Just her, her thoughts and this blackness, sometimes almost touchable, feeling like velvet against her skin; cold, yet at the same time so warm… 

Sometimes it almost felt like this darkness was alive. Moving around her, humming something, that strange vibrations filling her ears in that never-ending silence. Sometimes she was even sure she noticed something with the corner of her eye, but as soon as she moved her head, every movement being the biggest effort she could ever imagine, there was nothing there, the emptiness around her, silent, still, dead.

There was always only this darkness. _And hatred._

_Her _hatred.

Even though she was stuck here for that long, the anger she felt, the betrayal she experienced, the feeling of her heart being broken, all those feelings were fresh and alive in her heart, almost like it had happened moments, days ago, not centuries… She could have learned to live in that darkness, live with no sounds, no lights, no people, but she couldn’t learn to live with those emotions, she couldn’t move on, no matter how much she tried. Every time she was telling herself it was the high time, that there was no point in holding the grudge anymore, all the memories were coming back, hurting her even more, once again filling her heart with hate and reminding her that she had to remember, she had to hate. 

All the memories she had, the pictures in her mind, the only things she could see in this darkness, colors so vivid, emotions so fresh, anger so real… The memories of a family she once had. Memories of a life that once was hers. Memories of her long black hair flapping behind her back, when she was riding on a dark horse, sword in her hand, always towards victory, her father right by her side. Memories of screams of her victims, memories of their voices begging for mercy, begging for life and her figure standing above them, in that very moment being their goddess, their judge, their executioner, their lives in her hands and her hands only. Memories of long feasts, awaiting for them whenever they got back home, victorious again, tables filled with hundreds of plates, the most delicious food she could ever imagine ready to be shared and the long talks in front of a wine goblets, when they were weaving the stories of their battles, stories of yet another enemy defeated. Memories of glory, respect, love, and memories… of her end…

That one day that changed everything, merely an innocent talk, just a meeting between father and his daughter. And the choice he made, the one that was meant to haunt him for the rest of his life and the one that was meant to haunt her… _Forever_. A choice that was the greatest betrayal she had ever experienced, a choice that changed the last amounts of love she had in her heart into pure rage, a hatred that consumed her, just like the darkness he trapped her in.

And even though those memories were reminding her of everything she has lost, reminding her of how much she was hurt, those memories were also the only things keeping her sane. The only things reminding her who she truly was and the ones giving her constant hope that, sooner or later, she will get free, she will get out of this infinity trap and she will come back, in all her glory, victorious again, bringing nothing but death, revenge and destruction, finally claiming something that was always meant to be hers.

Her closed eyes opened again, yet still seeing nothing except the blackness around, the pictures she had seen moments ago disappearing, going back to the deepest parts of her memory, hidden there, awaiting another time she would need them. Her gaze moved, lazily, her body once again feeling that strange movement of the void around her and a strange shiver going down her spine, almost like a sign of something coming. Something big, something unexpected and something…

And suddenly she saw _it_. Something that her eyes haven’t seen in centuries. Something so unexpected, that for a moment she was afraid that after all this time she was going crazy and there was nothing more than the creation of her imagination. She blinked several times, calming her nerves, calming her beating heart, convincing herself it was nothing, that it must have been nothing. But as soon as she opened her eyes again she realized that something that was only a small spot, a little point somewhere far away, something that could be mistaken for pictures made up by her imagination, suddenly started to grow, long ripple in the darkness in front of her, almost like a lightning crossing the black sky during a thunderstorm, sudden silver contrasting with black.

_Light… _Her mind gave her that one single word and though she still couldn’t fully believe it, her heart started to beat faster, that ecstatic feeling of not only seeing something else from the darkness, but the feeling of sensing freedom, finally within the reach of her hand, the feeling that it might have been her way out.

The light was growing bigger and bigger, getting brighter with every passing second and she had to close her eyes, the light blinding her, her pupils unable to stand that amount of brightness, not after centuries of seeing nothing.

It was painful. Something that she missed that much was now causing her the greatest pain she ever experienced. Centuries spent in the darkness made her eyes forget the way the long rays of light were coming into her eyes, dilating the pupils, magically bringing the imagines from her eyes to her brain. She tried to close her eyelids even more, shutting them, but she could still feel it, through her thin, pale skin, that sudden brightness, that warmth not only on her face but also her skin, warming her, reminding her how it was to feel something else against her skin. 

She couldn’t tell if it was taking minutes or hours, but she could feel darkness vanishing around her, light warming her body, pulling her back to the world of the living, pulling her back into the world she once knew, the one she once called ‘home’. 

And then she finally dared to open her eyes.

_And there was no darkness anymore._


	2. A SPY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (y/n) = Your Name

“It’s the most reckless and stupid plan I have ever heard of!” A raven haired warrior snorted, while crossing arms on her chest, eyeing suspiciously the man standing right next to her.

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion, Arnissa…” He answered coldly, not even bothering to look at her.

“And yet she gave you one.” A man sitting right to the girl, raised his eyebrow, his light eyes barely visible from behind long mess of red curls on his head. “This was supposed to be a discussion, Svan, not a ‘listen to me, and only me, because my ideas are the best’ monologue…” He rolled his eyes again and Arnissa smirked, looking back at Svan whose cheeks suddenly got red.

“I simply wanted…”

“I agree with Svan…” Another girl joined the discussion. “We were supposed to share all of our ideas and yet since we came here you’re the only one talking.” She sighed.

“Just let the man talk, huh!? He’s the only one who came up with the plan so far, why do you attack him? Do you have any better plans on your own!? Share!”

“Shut up, Gyrd! No one wants to hear your opinion on this one! You’re muscles, not brain here!”

“What the hell did you just say, bitch!?”

“Guys, stop, stop, we were supposed to…”

“A low-birth woman like her won’t be telling me to shut up!” Gyrd pointed an accusatory finger right on Bjorg, who just snorted, rolling her eyes.

“That low-birth woman fought her way up here, getting rid of her enemies with _these_ hands!” She raised both her palms to emphasize. “So if I were you I’d be careful…”

“Do you threaten me now?” Gyrd hissed, leaning into her direction.

“Come on, we were…”

“Silence!”

One demanding voice, speaking for the first time since they met was enough to make them all shut their mouth all at once. All heads started to slowly turn around until all pair of eyes gathered in the room laid on the one figure sitting on the throne at the other side of the room.

Hela slowly moved her eyes across her faithful servants, her cold gaze emotionless when she finally stood up from her throne, her dark hair falling on her face, covering the half of it.

"Look at you all, my most faithful, loyal servants quarreling like children!" She snorted, waving her hand. "And over what?" She hung her voice, her eyes once again slipping from one face to another. "Over someone's low birth? Someone's harsh words? Someone's idea?" She smirked, content, when half of the people hung their faces, avoiding her gaze, ashamed of their behavior. "But, oh, well, who am I to tell you what to do and what not to do… Please! Be my guests! If you want to solve your grudges, the room is all yours! Come! Tell what you dislike, confess to all the things that annoy you, get in the middle and fight for it! I can't remember when was the last time I saw a truly good fight between two allies…" She eyed the faces in front of her, which one by one started to look away from her, embarrassed, wanting to avoid their queen's face and her piercing gaze. "No one? Huh? No one wants to?" She asked mockingly after long seconds of silence.

"We… We're sorry, our queen…" Svan was the first one to spoke aloud. "We… Didn't want to offend anyone and we didn't want to annoy you."

"We shall come back to plotting against Asgard in an instance." Added Arnissa.

"Good!" Hela turned her back to them, coming back to her throne and sitting on it once again. "So where were we?" She tapped her fingers impatiently, raising her brow.

It's been months since she had come back.

Months since she was freed from the darkness she had been trapped in for centuries. Months since she managed to find that forgotten castle, lonely months since she regained her strength and other long months of gathering allies, people willing to follow her, people who'd do anything for her, ready for everything, just at the one movement of her finger.

It took her months to get here, and it still wasn't a place she wanted to be. Since she left the void behind her, since she was freed from her trap, there was only one place she could think of, one goal in her mind.

_Asgard…_

Her kingdom. The one that was promised to her when she was a young girl, a kingdom that she was meant to inherit from her father when he'd pass away. A kingdom that belonged to her and the one that was ripped away from her, given to the younger brother, the one who didn't deserve it all. When she heard that her father, the All-father, was dead, Hela was surprised to feel the sting of grief, a longing for a person she had once loved with her whole heart. Though she craved her release, her freedom, for centuries, somewhere deep down, she was certain that Odin was meant to live and rule _forever. _That maybe one day he will understand his mistake, that he will come back to her, free her and accept her once again as his beloved daughter, the one meant to rule Asgard by his side. But now, with him gone… There won't be any father and daughter reunion, there won't be him asking for her forgiveness, him telling her how sorry he was. There won't be apologies, won't be tears. He was gone, his power gone, having no control over her anymore.

She wanted to regain Asgard as soon as she was free. But she knew she was too weak, too powerless, too tired to do anything. Her plans to just storm there, rip the throne out with her bare hands, killing everyone standing in her way, were useless, at least as long as she was in that miserable state. So when her feet touched the ground, first time in centuries, the real ground, covered with grass, so soft under her skin; when she felt the touch of sun rays on her body, caressing her pale face with their warmth; when she felt the air floating through her air, gusts of wind bringing shivers on her skin, she knew. She knew she needed time, she needed a proper plan before she'll storm there, claiming what's hers.

She started to look for people willing to join her. And to her surprise, it was easier than she thought. Warrior banished from their cities and planets; poor villagers looking for a better life, for better fate; enemies of Asgard, wanting nothing more than to see it in flames; even Asgardian themselves, banished from the city they once loved and ready to get back there. In a blink of an eye she had a whole army, ready to follow her everywhere, loyal servants, complying her every order. And throughout all this time, she slowly gathered her strength, learned herself once again, the power she once had and the one she missed so much, once again pulsing in her veins.

_She was ready._

Ready to take Asgard back, ready to get its throne, ready to banish her foolish brothers and be the queen, the Asgardians deserved. But how, oh how, was she supposed to do that, when she didn't have any plan and her council members were ready to rip their throats out, fighting like little children over a broken toy?

She sighed, her gaze stopping on Svan, standing not so far away, his eyes moving nervously, when he swallowed hard, uncertain if he can and should continue.

"Oh come on, for how long do I have to wait for the rest of your plan?" Hela rolled her eyes. "You were saying something?"

"Yes, right, my queen…" He cleared his throat nervously, before putting on a brave mask and stepping one step closer towards her. "As I was saying..." Svan cleared his throat again, approaching Hela even more, who slowly raised her brow questioningly. "If I may be bold to suggest…"

"Yes?"

"I think the best way is to attack."

"Attack?" Hela repeated like an echo, the look on her face unreadable.

"Yes. Even though they already have a new king, they are still mourning Odin's death and most definitely they are not expecting your return, nor an attack. It may be the best and only chance to surprise them."

"Asgard has one of the best-trained warriors we know, attacking them without a proper plan would be a suicide and a great loss for us and our troops."

"Cowardly approach!" Svan snorted, shooting a mocking glance towards (y/n).

"Being cautious doesn't equal being a coward!" (y/n) protested, taking one step forward. "I've been to Asgard before, I know their people. Even in the time of grief, they are always capable and ready to fight for their city and protect it. My queen…" She turned her gaze on Hela, who looked at her with interest in her gaze. "…I don't doubt the power of our troops and most definitely I don't doubt that you would be capable of burning Asgard to the ground. But at what cost?" She asked, her question hanging in the air, murmurs spreading behind her back, among other people in the council. "Perhaps we could win, but perhaps our loss would be too great and we'd have to…"

"Coward! You say about being cautious but you're nothing but coward! And if you're so afraid of losing, maybe you should go back to your precious Asgard and…"

"Shut your mouth before I cut out your tongue!" (y/n) growled, taking a step towards Svan, knife ready in her hand, ready to be thrown, before Arnnisa put a comforting hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

"It's not worth it. He is not worth it." She grimaced, looking at Svan who only laughed. (y/n) shot him a glance, full of disdain and slowly lowered her knife, hiding it safely.

For a moment they were both eyeing themselves until finally, Svan cleared his throat, looking at Hela once again.

"As I was saying, I think…"

"Hush!" Hela raised her hand and he fell silent, surprised by her outburst. "I want to hear what she has to say…" She thoughtfully stroked her chin and gestured to (y/n). "Go on…"

Blonde looked triumphantly at the man standing next to her and approached Hela.

"Asgard may not be prepared for war or fight itself, but they have great troops, skilled warriors and a lot of traps and ways out of the city, in case it would ever be threatened. We'd not only expose ourselves but also may, just _may _have a chance of losing."

"So what do you propose instead?"

"Tear them from the inside." She said and everyone gathered in the room started to murmur once again. "As we all know, Asgard is weakened now. Young, inexperienced king, probably not having that many faithful followers as Odin did… People mourning, a threat of war closer and closer. We should send someone there, a spy, someone who would gain their trust, someone who could infiltrate them from the inside."

"And how the hell is that better than…" Svan started once again.

"Shhh!" Hela silenced him with one wave of her hand, her interested gaze still locked on (y/n). "Go on…"

"We would know the exact amount of their troops, the way they're training their warriors. We would know all their strengths and weak points, the way they fight, the way they _think. _With that knowledge, we would be able to use that all against them, to tear them from inside, to fight, not having any chance to lose."

"So, a spy?" Hela raised her brow and (y/n) nodded.

"A spy, pretending to be a faithful Asgardian, ready to sacrifice everything to help their city. But at the same time a spy who would tell all of their Asgardian secrets to you, my queen." (y/n) bowed her head with respect. "It may be more time consuming but at least we would be sure we have a chance of winning."

"And the pleasure of them losing would be even greater after all those months of delusive solitude and peace…" Hela smiled dreamily until this smile turned into a wicked smile. "I must admit, I would never suspect that a simple warrior of mine could be so cunning. Consider me impressed, (y/n)."

"Thank you, my queen. I'm honored." (y/n) bowed once again, from the corner of her eyes seeing Svan's face, completely red once again and she couldn't resist the smile appearing on her face.

She hated that man since the day they've met. Always so confident, proud, thinking everyone was below him, _especially, _woman. Maybe it was partially the fault of her Asgardian upbringing, where women were always treated equally to men, no matter the status of their birth or their position. But there was something in this man that made her hate him from the beginning. And that stupid plan he came up with… Attacking Asgard with no preparations… He was either crazy or just stupid, there was no in-between.

"I must say…" Hela started after a moment. "My plan of taking control over Asgard looked differently in my head… But I guess desperate times require desperate measures…" She sighed, hanging her voice. "And I planned my revenge for too long to have it destroyed just because I rushed things, sending unprepared warriors to be destroyed by Asgardians… I've waited centuries… I can wait a few more weeks. And patience is a virtue after all…" Her strangely peaceful eyes laid on (y/n) and she lifted corners of her lips in a smile. "We'll send a spy!" She declared, causing a few people to nod with approval, the other only murmuring something under her breath.

"But…" Svan took a step forward, but one look from Hela silenced him.

"I made my decision." She said, still looking at him, her gaze almost steel. "But now…" She hesitated, eyeing the crowd around her carefully. "We still need to choose that one person who would be best fitted for this job…" Once again she hung her voice, carefully observing the reaction of her warriors.

_Cowards… _She thought to herself. No matter how much they claimed to be on her side, no matter how often they ensured her they were ready to fulfill her every wish, every order, she knew that deep down they were all afraid. Afraid of her wrath, of her power, afraid of death… And now each one of them was afraid of being the one to volunteer for this job… Was it truly that hard? Just take a step forward, look into her eyes and say they would? It's not a suicide mission, to be honest they would be safer in Asgard, then throwing themselves right into the battle, but still, no volunteers. Minutes passed and Hela rolled her eyes, sighing heavily.

"Fine!" She snorted. "If no one wants to come willingly, I…"

"If I may…" Svan interrupted her. "I think (y/n) is best for this."

"What?" Arnissa blurted out.

"What?" Svan's companion looked at him almost like he was mad.

"What?" Even (y/n) turned her head to look at him, her wide-opened eyes meeting him, her suspicious gaze trying to find anything in his eyes.

"Interesting…" Hela tapped her chin. "Why?"

"It was her idea. And she knows Asgard. If anyone is capable of sneaking in there and fool them – it's only her." He smirked seeing the change of look on (y/n)'s face. Almost unnoticeable but she still couldn't hide it well enough.

"Interesting…" Hela repeated. "And what do you think about it?" Her eyes laid on (y/n).

For a moment all (y/n) could hear was the sound of her blood, rushing through veins in her ears, her heart suddenly quickening its pace. She couldn't possibly say ‘no' to Hela… Not only because it would end up with her being punished but she owned her so much… Her life, her freedom… How could she say ‘no' to that one person who saved her in so many different ways? But on the other hand… It meant coming back to Asgard…

"Unless… You don't think you're fitted for this job?" Hela raised her brow, after long moments of silence, but (y/n) shook her heart.

"No, my queen. I'd happily follow your order and spy for you." She ensured and Hela nodded, contented.

"Well then… Everything's set! Prepare her for the journey!" She waved her hand again and two more guards approached (y/n), showing her a way to the chambers.

Why was her heart beating so quickly in her chest when they were escorting her to the chambers where she was meant to be prepared to go? Why was she out of nowhere feeling that cold sweat on her back, unmistakable sign of adrenaline rushing through her veins right now? Why suddenly couldn't she stop thinking of all the things she had left in Asgard, _all the people_ she had left there?

She couldn't even truly name the emotions she was feeling… Was it excitement? Her, being sent on a first responsible mission? Was it fear? Fear of being caught, exposed, fear for all the things that could happen if Asgardians would reveal her true intentions? Was it anxiety? That painful sucking hole in her stomach, reminding her that there was still a slightest chance that she could meet a person she left there ages ago, the person she tried so hard to forget about and a person she was so afraid of meeting… Or maybe it was hatred? The one filling her heart, remembering all harm that came from Asgard before, when they banished her, when they took everything and everyone she has ever loved from her… Was she scared or excited? Ready for it or trying to run away from what was waiting for her?

She couldn't name any of it, she couldn't be sure of any of her feelings, but she knew one thing.

_She was coming back to Asgard… _

Whether she wanted it or not…


	3. A WOMAN

"My king…" One of the guards bowed his head, seeing Thor approaching, but the king merely shot him a glance and a half-smile, clearly lost in his thoughts.

The guardian eyed him for a moment, the red cape flapping behind his back when his energetic steps were echoing across the empty corridor, until his figure disappeared behind another column and soon the creak of doors opening was heard.

It became kind of a ritual for Thor. Visiting this secluded balcony, far from the main part of the palace, from all of the people coming with their problems, worries, and politics. The place where just for a short moment he could forget about being a king and just be… _himself. _But who was he truly right now? Odin's son? God of Thunder? King of Asgard? One of the Avengers? Just Thor? He slowly closed the door behind his back and stepped onto sunny balcony, breathing in the fresh, warm air, for a moment letting himself get lost in this moment, lost in the feeling of the sun on his face, the wind against his skin and his lips curled up in a smile. But it was just a fleeting illusion of serenity and soon he could feel his thoughts coming back to him, all of the worries there again, all of the things part of him wanted so badly to escape from flooding his mind. 

Even if he didn’t wear any crown, he could almost feel it’s weight not only on his head, but also on his shoulders. And he knew exactly what was it. _Responsibility._

Responsibility for all the Asgardians, for all his people, whose king he was now. It was his job to take care of them now, he was responsible for protecting their lives, making sure that none of them lacks anything. He was their protector, their guardian angel, their _king._

Thor sighed, leaning against the railing and looking down at the children, playing at the square in front of him, their happy voices filling the air, reaching his ears and even against himself he started to smile. Not so long ago, the only thing he could hear were the laments, sad songs and prayers, so that the other Gods would accept Odin in Valhalla and take good care of him. But their lives finally started to come back to normal, people not mourning anymore. He didn’t judge them, he was happy for them. They had a new king now, and the sadness had to once again be gone and replaced by happiness. They didn’t have to mourn, because he was still mourning for all of them…

He spent centuries, learning under the careful gaze of his father, how to be a king one day. He was a skilled warrior, amazing soldier, God of Thunder and now, _King of Asgard. _But even though his father taught him everything, even though his father told him that he was ready – Thor didn’t feel like it at all… They were still so many questions he wanted to ask, so many doubts, so many uncertain and unwanted thoughts… And now he didn’t even have anyone to share them… His mother gone, his father gone, his brother being a traitor who couldn’t be fully trusted and him, suddenly feeling like a lost child, uncertain of his every move, the burden on his shoulders too great, weighing him down.

Thor raised his face, eyes scanning the crystal blue sky above his head and he sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"I wish you could be here, father…" He said, sighing once again. "There are still so many things I don't know, so many questions I want to ask you, so many…" He stopped, midsentence, shaking his head. "I know you've told me that I'm ready for it, that you've taught me everything and that in your eyes, I will be an amazing Asgardian king, but… I'd give up anything for one more guidance, for one more day…" He sighed once again, the sky above him still, not a single sign from his father, the one he hoped to see.

But somewhere deep inside he knew what his father would tell him. That he would barely smile, lifting corners of his lips, love for his firstborn son so clear in his eyes. Maybe he'd even put a hand on Thor's shoulder, a gesture so rare and yet so important for both of them. And then he would open his mouth and say that he could teach him how to be a king for another thousand years and yet when time would come, he still would feel uncertain, unprepared. Maybe he would even ensure him that it was normal, that no one was truly ready for being a king, that the knowledge was once thing, but experience, learning from one's own mistakes, was a completely different thing. And that his self-doubts were only an indicator that he was, indeed, ready.

Thor sighed again and averted his eyes from the sky, looking down again, at the square under his balcony. And to his surprise, he didn't see a group of children happily playing there, laughing. _No. _Instead, he heard screams and squeals, when children started to run away, each one of them in a different direction. His brows furrowed, hand already prepared to call his hammer if needed and his eyes scanning the square, looking for something, or someone, that could have scared children away.

_And then he saw him._

A tall, slender figure, slowly coming from between the trees, his green clothes practically undetectable moments ago, mixing with the colors of the leaves.

_Loki…_

Thor eyed his brother suspiciously, watching his every movement and wondering what he could be planning. Meanwhile, Loki just came closer to the abandoned square and looked around, his gaze stopping on a group of children, hidden in the shadows now, eyeing him, visibly afraid. Loki sighed and bent down, his hand grabbing the ball, the one children left in a rush and he looked at it intensively. Thor's browed furrowed when he leaned down again, eyes on his brother. He wasn't sure why Loki was here and most definitely he still wasn't sure if he could trust him. Meanwhile, Loki raised his other hand, his lips opening and from his opened palm shot a small ray of green light, engulfing the ball.

For a moment nothing happened, until suddenly the ball started to grow, changing its shape into something else, something bigger, something looking almost like… Thor had to squint his eyes with disbelief, thinking that his sight was betraying him when on Loki’s palm suddenly appeared a small, green dragon, its head raising curiously. And it got children’s attentions too, one of them hesitantly coming from around the trees, eyes full of wonder, locked on the dragon, who spread his wings and lifted into the ear, a bunch of green lights erupting around him with his every movement.

Thor smiled, shaking his head with amusement. _Of course… _Always showing off… His smile grew even wider when he noticed that children, so scared moments ago, left their hiding spot and slowly approached Loki, with curiosity now, their eyes wide opened, glued to the wonders he was creating with his magic. One of them was brave enough to pull down on Loki’s robe, asking him something. Loki smiled to the boy, nodding and soon there was another dragon next to him, both of them chasing each other around, flying between children’s bodies, who were now running around, trying to catch at least one of them, yet still unsuccessfully.

That’s when Thor realized how nervous he was, all of his muscles tensed, ready to move, in case something bad would happen. He sighed. He knew the reason behind all of this. _He just still couldn’t fully trust his brother… _After everything he had done, after everything that happened, sometimes Thor wondered if he ever will be able to trust him again, just like he once did? Part of him thought that after their father's death Loki will try to take the throne again. But when it didn't happen, when he willingly accepted Thor as a king, he thought that maybe now Loki will leave Asgard? That their paths will simply diverge, each one of them going their way. _But no. _To his surprise Loki stayed, not asking for anyone's permission or opinion. From day to day he simply seemed to come back to his old life, life of Asgardian's Prince, God of Mischief again, performing magic tricks to anyone willing to watch.

But it made Thor wonder… Did he have any ulterior motive? Was there something more under this mask of innocence? Was hatred still filling his heart and he just waited for a proper moment to strike and attack? Was he still planning on hurting his brother and getting the throne to himself? Or maybe… After everything that'd happened, was there a chance that he could change? That he could understand his mistakes and wanted to make it up for them? Was it even possible to get his brother back, the one he once loved so much?

He wanted to believe it so badly, he wanted this to be true. But his trust, broken not once, not twice, but way too many times was reminding him that if he'd fully believe in Loki _again, _it may end with another heartbreak. At the beginning he was even considering banishing Loki, imprisoning him, or maybe sending to Midgard as a punishment, but… When they were talking with their father for the last time, before his death, right before he was gone, when he called them both ‘his sons’, when he treated Loki like his beloved son again, when he forgave him… _If he could do this, why couldn’t Thor? _

“My king!” His thoughts were interrupted, two royal guards approaching him, a visible worry on their faces.

“What is it?” Thor took a step back from the balcony and his worried gaze moved over guards’ faces.

“We… Uhm…”

“We found a wounded girl…”

“A wounded girl?”

"A woman… She's beaten and bruised and unconscious and…"

“Where did you find her?”

“Heimdall did. He heard desperate screams for help and he saw her and…”

“And he just let her in!?”

“I… We…”

“Nevermind… Lead the way!”

With the nod of their heads guards turned around, leading Thor back to Bifrost, this strange procession causing a few people to turn their heads after them. But Thor didn’t even notice their puzzled gazes, his mind fixed only on the thought of Heimdall letting someone into their kingdom. He never had any reason to doubt Heimdall’s devotion and he hoped he would never have to but if the guards were right… If he truly did let in someone who didn’t belong here…

“Heimdall! What does it mean!?” Thor approached his servant and his friend, who bowed his head with respect at the sight of his king.

“My king…” He stepped aside, revealing a small body of a young woman laying on the ground, clearly unconscious.

"Who is she? And how did she get here?" Thor came closer and kneeled next to the body, grabbing the girl's wrist to check the pulse.

It was strong and rhythmical, so there were no signs of any kind of internal bleeding or wounds that could threaten her life. She was strong and still alive, just hurt and unconscious.

“I let her in.”

“You let her in?”

“I heard screaming for help, a desperate voice of a hurt person and I found her. On an abandoned planet, alone, beat, bleeding, fighting for her life.”

“And you just brought her here?” Thor raised his gaze to look at Heimdall.

“I couldn’t let her die out there. Not when I already discovered where she was. Besides, she…” He suddenly stopped, midsentence.

“She what?”

“She… She didn’t seem to be a threat or an enemy…” Heimdall finished and for a moment, just one moment, Thor felt like he was hiding something, almost like he wanted to finish his previous sentence differently and he changed mind in the last moment.

But Heimdall held his cautious gaze and Thor only nodded, bringing back his attention to the girl in front of him. She was young, even though he could see the signs of time on her face, she was still very young, her long, blonde hair messy and covered with ash and dirt, her skin kissed by rays of sun, indicating that this woman probably spent a lot of time outdoors. She was bruised, dark spots on her skin, showing that whoever attacked her, showed her no mercy and a dry trail of blood on her lips, another sign of probably one, painful punch in the middle of her face… Thor could feel the blood in his veins boiling, just at the mere thought of someone hurting that woman so badly, but… But at the same time, there was something… Something about her that alerted him. Even though her clothes looked like racks, old fabric ripped in many places, covered with dirt, she didn't look like a homeless beggar at all. She was slim but well-fed, her cheeks were rosy and full, not sunken ones, which was always an unmistakable sign of someone starving for too long. Her skin, even if covered with scars, was soft and her arms surprisingly muscular. And Thor was well aware of what did it mean.

_This woman was a warrior._

If not recently, she was once trained and fought, for a time long enough to sculpt her body, yet still leaving it soft and feminine. And the realization of it was only bringing even more questions to Thor's mind.

Who was she? What was she doing here? Why was she calling for help? Who attacked her? Was letting her in a good idea? And what was he, king, supposed to do with her?

His eyes moved across her bare arms and suddenly his brows furrowed even more, when he noticed a scar on her right forearm. But it wasn't just any scar. It was a scar caused by someone's inexperienced hands when with a thin blade of a sharp knife someone tried to get rid of _something _that was there before. A mark? A tattoo? A sigil indicating that she belonged to someone? Slavery was still common on some planets, so maybe she was just a fugitive, trying to start her life from scratch? Thor leaned down even more, eyes on the scar, trying to recognize the shape that someone wanted to cover so badly. It almost looked like…

“My king?” Guard’s voice brought him back to reality. “What shall we do with her?”

Thor looked down at the body in front of him once again and raised his gaze to look into Heimdall's golden eyes. His sight was calm and unreadable as always and at that moment Thor understood that this woman couldn't be a threat. Heimdall would never betray him and his abilities and gifts allowed him to look further and deeper than any kind of human eye. If he'd decided to bring this girl here, he must have had a good reason for it. And after such a long time Thor knew never to question him or his motives.

“My king?” The guard repeated his question.

Thor didn't answer. Instead, he slipped his hands under the girl's unconscious body and lifted it with ease, almost like she weighed nothing at all. Guards looked at him surprised when Thor walked passed them, right towards the palace.

“I’m taking her to the infirmary.”


	4. INFIRMARY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may contain mild swearing and mentioning of fighting and blood. Nothing descriptive.
> 
> (y/n) = Your Name  
(y/f/n) = Your False Name (it will be needed for the plot, you'll see later why. Basically a false name you would use to hide your true identity)

The first thing she felt was a terrible headache. Starting around her forehead and engulfing her whole head, its long tentacles wrapping around her skull, clenching around it, making it impossible to even open her eyes, the pain of light meeting her pupils too great to let them open. (y/n) winced, shutting her eyelids once again, moving her head to the side, almost like she could run away from that headache, from the pain she could now feel all over her body. But as soon as she moved, a silent moan escaped her lips, her whole body feeling like fire, every part of it, every limb, every organ hurting with its kind of pain. 

_Gosh, was she dead? Did she finally meet her end and ended up in Valhalla? But… If she were in Valhalla, she wouldn't be feeling all of this pain though… So maybe it was hell? _

Once again she tried to open her eyes, this time successfully. The sudden brightness reaching her pupils caused another wave of pain spreading through her head but she ignored it, ignored the urge to close them once again and instead she blinked, once, twice, her gaze slowly adjusting to the light and noticing the details around her. Her gaze slipped lazily over bright walls, not quite white, but barely saturated with a shade of cream and that’s when she realized she was not in Hela’s safe palace. She spent so many weeks and months in those dark, old interiors that one look at those bright walls was enough to make her realize she was in a new place. She blinked once again, her gaze moving more nervously now, when she realized she had no memories on how exactly did she get here, what exactly happened and where the hell was she? Her head turned to the left and that’s when she saw it – a small ornament, an elegant decoration, for a stranger being nothing more than just an elegant décor but for her being much, _much_ more.

_She was in Asgard…_

(y/n) could feel her heart quickening in her chest, just at the mere thought of being in a place she was exactly meant to be. But still… How the hell did she get here? She squinted her eyes, trying to limit the amount of light reaching her eyes and she let her memories flow, trying to remember anything that would remind her how did she come here in first place.

She remembered the council meeting, Hela approving her plan and choosing her as a person who would spy on Asgard. She told her something about preparing her properly and when (y/n) thought she meant establishing more details about their plan or dressing her up properly, Hela just smiled, shaking her head. _No, that’s not what she meant… _If they wanted Asgardians to trust her, she couldn’t just storm there, pretend she was a tourist or just a foreigner passing by. No, that would raise more questions and make them even more suspicious. So she wanted (y/n) to be the victim, poor girl attacked by some thieves or thugs, who would steal everything from her and left her there to die. And when (y/n) nodded, accepting her plan and ensuring her that she will do everything to look like a poor victim, Hela laughed again, shaking her head. _No… _Pretending didn’t count. They would read through her in an instance and they would know she was just pretending.

(y/n) lost the trail of her thoughts when a wave of pain surged through her body, the pain in her head pulsing now, every nerve in her body crying for help, for any kind of relief.

_And then suddenly she remembered._

She remembered Hela’s order, Svan approaching her with a satisfactory smile on his face, willingly following his queen’s orders to hurt her, to make her look like she was attacked _for real. _She winced when she remembered the first punch meeting her face and then the other one, right into her ribs. She always knew that Svan hated her, that there was something he couldn't stand about her but she would never suspect he hated her that much. He took every advantage of this situation, hurting her with a satisfactory grin on his face, beating her up till she dropped unconscious. And then he probably left her somewhere, bleeding, bruised, half-dead where the Asgardians found her and took her to safety. (y/n) opened her eyes, the realization of what had happened made her blood boil with rage in her veins. _That fucking bastard… _She knew he always hated her but doing _this? _She took a deeper breath and immediately felt a terrible pain in her chest, the unmistakable sign that her ribs were probably fractured, if not entirely broken…

“I’ll fucking kill you, Svan…” She hissed under her breath, trying to move slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position.

But not only did her movement caused another wave of pain, but she almost couldn’t move at all, her limbs heavy, feeling like made of lead and her throat dry, like she hasn’t been drinking for weeks. _Oh, just wait till she gets her hands on him again… _When she'll enjoy every moment of tormenting him, when she'll try every kind of sweet torture she will be able to think of… When he will finally end on his knees in front of her, beginning her for mercy, beginning for ending his pain and she will ignore it, wanting nothing more than to hurt him as he did hurt her… 

(y/n) winced again, even a smile draining her of all the energy she had and she sighed, ordering herself to stop thinking about Svan, that she will get her revenge eventually but now she needed to think of a situation she was in. She succeeded, she was in Asgard and the infirmary, so that meant they didn't have any plans of killing or imprisoning her. Otherwise, they would've done that already… She looked around again, admiring the detailing on the ceiling and the walls and suddenly she realized her lips were raised in a half-smile. She forgot how good it felt to be here… Not that she missed this place, no. Not after everything they did to her, after everything that had happened and after she had to start her life from scratch again. For all those years she learned to treat Asgard like a place she once was in, not a place that once was her home… She thought even that she learnt how to hate it but when she was laying here now, that strange familiarity, the strange warmth emanating from those walls, so different from dark and obscure interiors in Hela’s palace… It all just felt… _good. _

She was about to scold herself for these thoughts when the door to her room suddenly opened and one of the healers stopped abruptly in the doorstep, her eyes widening at the sight of her patient conscious again.

“Oh!” She exclaimed. “You’re awake!”

“Yeah, it seems like that…” (y/n) forced a smile on her face, when healer approached her, with furrowed brows checking her carefully.

“How are you feeling?” She asked. “You’ve been unconscious for some time…”

“What do you mean ‘for some time’?

“A few hours…” She admitted, pressing a hand to her forehead.

“I’m okay… Well, my whole body is one big vessel filled with pain and my headache is killing me but I am alive so I should be grateful for that, huh?” She tried to smile once again and once again miserably failed, her pathetic attempts making healer’s brows to furrow even more.

“Wait here, please, I’m gonna come back in a moment…”

“Not that I can go anywhere in this state…” (y/n) sighed, eyeing the healer carefully until the door closed behind her back and she was left alone in the room again.

She sighed, annoyed that she didn’t ask that girl for anything that would help her forget about the pain she was feeling. They sure have some kind of herbs that would… Or at least something to drink… She knew they would never give her wine, not in this state but oooh, how much she missed the taste of it, that perfect mix of bitterness and sweetness on her tongue at the same time and then that pleasant warmth after swallowing it. She gulped hard when the mere thought of it made her thirsty even more. Gods, even a simple sip of water would be a blessing right now…

Her thoughts trailed off when the door opened again and (y/n) was already opening her mouth to greet the healer again, but words died on her lips when another person entered the room.

_This couldn’t be true… He couldn’t be here…_

“I’m glad to finally see you awake.” Said a deep, low voice and a comforting smile appeared on the face of a man who had entered her room. “How are you feeling?” He asked, coming closer to her bed.

(y/n) couldn't say a single word, her mouth opening and closing, like a fish taken out from water when her wide-opened eyes could stare at the broad figure of a blond Asgardian slowly sitting at the side of her bed, still smiling comfortingly to her.

_From all the people in Asgard… It must have been him?_

“I…” She started, once again regretting not having anything to drink when she felt how dry her throat was. “I, uhm…”

“Oh, forgive me my manners… “ He interrupted her. I don’t think we were properly introduced… My name’s Thor. But seeing your reaction I must guess you know me so you’re well aware I’m a king of Asgard.” He smiled again, eyeing her carefully, though he tried to hide it as much as possible under his friendly gaze.

“Yes, I… Uhm, I might have heard about you. King.” She added quickly, swallowing nervously. “I just didn’t expect that king would take any kind of interest in a hurt stray.” She tried to joke but her voice was still so weak that sounded almost pathetic.

“Well… It’s not usual that we hear calling for help so desperate that even Heimdall decides to open Bifrost for it…”

“Calling for help?” She repeated, once again having that blurry flashback of her laying on that hard ground, cries of help leaving her mouth in last act of desperation, when she didn’t remember where she was, why she was there, she just wanted all this pain to stop...

“Do you remember anything? Do you recall what happened to you?”

“I…” (y/n) hesitated for a moment. “I was attacked… A few men appeared on my path out of nowhere and… They were probably thieves, stole everything I had and… I don’t remember much of it, just…” She shrugged, averting her eyes, pretending like this memory was too painful to go back memory lane there. “They’re just blurry images…”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ve been told you had a head injury and that you might be confused for a few days. Or even weeks.”

“Yeah, maybe with time…” She furrowed her brows before looking back at him. “But the next thing I remember was waking up here…” She shrugged.

"We've barely saved your life…" Thor admitted, his gaze serious now when he moved it across her face.

“I’m… I’m grateful for that. Truly. And as soon as I’ll feel better I…”

"We'll talk about this once you will feel better, okay? Meanwhile, you've had me at a disadvantage since I still don't know your name?" He smiled, yet something suspicious again was in the gaze he shot her.

_Oh, he was clever… _Being all friendly and sympathetic, trying to gain her trust, not even pushing her to tell him too much… Just so he could ask for her name and probably more things, things he wanted to know and those she couldn't give him. But now she couldn't even say ‘no'…

“(y/f/n).” She lied. “My name is (y/f/n)." (y/n) was a too characteristic name and she had to hide and protect it. Just in case… _In case someone remembers…_

“(y/f/n). And where do you come from?”

_Oh, here there were… The other questions…_

"I… I don't know? I can't remember my childhood or my parents…" She lied smoothly again. "But I spent most of my life on Vanaheim, so…” Another lie, the kind she mastered so perfectly throughout the years.

“And what were you doing there?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Forgive me for being that blunt but you just don’t strike me as a poor beggar, so… I was wondering what was your profession? If you don’t think it’s too impertinent…”

_Of course, it is too impertinent! But you got me cornered and there's nothing I can do to avoid this question!_

If only there was a way to punch herself in the face and lose consciousness again… Because of Svan’s actions and her rushed appearance in Asgard, she didn’t have enough time to come up with a reliable story, the one she could sell to make Asgardians believe her. So she was laying there now, no plan, no bright ideas, headache still too big to let her think clearly and under a careful gaze of Thor, which only made her harder to focus on anything.

She could have said she was a healer. But then she would probably have to prove her herbs knowledge and even if she did learn herbal arts once, it wasn’t enough to convince the king of Asgard of being one of them. So maybe a governess? It was a common practice on some of the planets, that a wealthy family would hire one, a person who would take care of their children, a person who would cook them, teach them, play with them. But then he would ask for names, names of the families who hired her, names of the riches and nobles and she wouldn't be able to provide even one of them... A warrior then? A mercenary? That wouldn't be that far from the truth but on the other hand, telling him that she was a mercenary, a paid killer sometimes, wouldn't be a good idea, once again raising more questions and more doubts about her presence here…

“I was a trader.” She said finally.

A woman being a trader was a rare thing but not impossible. And that would at least explain why was she beaten and why all of her things were stolen. Plus she knew a thing or two, she could pull that out. And right now it was her best shot.

Thor didn't answer. He just nodded slowly, almost like he was simply accepting that fact. But at the same time, he realized that she was lying. She was confident, but that moment of hesitation when he asked her, the way her eyes moved around, avoiding his gaze, the way her voice trembled, almost undetectable, but still. _She was lying. _He wasn't sure why, he couldn't determine whether she lied about everything, or just hid and covered part of her story, revealing only as much as she wanted. But at that moment he knew that he couldn't fully trust her. At least not yet.

"Well then…" He clasped his hands against his thighs, smiling again and raising to his feet. "I won't be taking your time any longer. You need to rest. I make sure that the healers provide you everything you will need."

“Thank you, your majesty.”

“And now rest.” He smiled once again, leaving the room along with the healer, door shutting behind them.

As soon as the door closed, (y/n) let out all the breath stored in her lungs and allowed her whole body to relax. She wasn’t even fully aware of how stressed out and nervous she was, at least not until she finally felt all of the adrenaline leaving her body, the beating of her heart slowing down, coming back to normal again and her muscles relaxing.

She wasn't entirely sure if Thor bought her story, if he truly believed her, but she knew two things. First – she was here, at least for now. They promised to take care of her and to let her heal, so for the next few weeks she could count on proper care here. And the second thing, the one that made her sigh with relief, that ensured her that her cover won't be blown away…

_He didn’t recognize her…_


	5. THE COUNCIL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (y/n) = Your Name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name

“I still think we should take care of our army first!”

“Oh please! You keep on talking about that army… We’re in times of peace! There’s no need to waste our gold and the king’s attention on such a thing!”

“Yes, we may be at peace, but what will happen when the war will come to us? All-father is dead and the enemies that feared him probably know that already… We must be ready in case any of them would love to have revenge!”

“That’s absurd! Odin’s enemies are long gone, banished or dead. And the small amount of the rest of them won’t risk attacking out new king!”

“How do you know that? They may think he’s young and unfitted for this role and do exactly the opposite!”

“Young and unfitted for this role? Do you try to suggest our king is  _ weak!?”  _ The threat in Sif’s voice made Fandral shrink, his mouth opening before closing again.

“I would never suggest such a thing…” He cleared his throat, shooting a careful glance at Thor, wanting to see his reaction and to make sure his words weren’t offensive in any way.

But Thor didn’t even notice his look, his own eyes locked somewhere in front of him, in the distance, his absent gaze being a clear indication that he was somewhere far, far away with his thoughts.

“My friends, please, we can settle it like civilized people.” Volstagg raised his hands, looking from one to another.

Sif and Fandral looked suspiciously at each other, almost expecting that the other person would still want to add something. The tension between them was almost palatable and Hogun rolled his eyes, sighing heavily.

“Adult warriors fighting like children…” He murmured to himself. Volstagg sitting right next to him snorted with amusement.

“We should have get used to it already… They’ve been months and they don’t seem like they will change their attitude any time soon…” He shrugged, taking a big sip of wine in front of him.

Hogun shot him a glance, before turning his attention to his friends, still in a heated argument, before finally his gaze laid upon Thor, their friend, their king. But he didn’t even notice, his gaze absentmindedly moving across the walls on the other side of the room.

The Council was innovation, brought by him and both approved and disapproved by some of the Asgardians. Some of them thought it’s great that he is willing to listen to someone else, that he cares so much he wants advice. But the others… The others saw this as a sign he was unsure, not entirely convinced about his choices, which wasn’t a good quality in a new king… Odin never cared to ask anyone about their opinion, he simply chose the path he thought was the right one and followed it, sometimes even stubbornly, not minding people who were trying to tell him otherwise. But Thor was different. The first thing he wanted was the group of trusted people, close to him, responsible, brave, who would be there for him, helping with his decisions, offering their advice when needed. Someone he could turn to, someone he could listen to and someone who simply would help him. The choice he made wasn’t that obvious for the first time, but after a few days, everyone realized that there was no one else more fitted for this Council, than his most trusted friends. But in moments like this Hogun seriously doubted if choosing  _ just  _ them was a good idea…

“With your support or not, we still need to discuss the proper equipment of our Einhenjars…”

“I agree, but hear me out…” Sif’s fist met with the table, immediately cutting Fandral off.

Thor himself was barely aware of the discussion happening in front of him. Although his ears were hearing the raised voices, the shouts and noise of the hands banging against the table, the emphasis of the words they were saying, they were all nothing more but the small noise in the background, almost muted, when his thoughts kept on orbiting around his problem, around one person.

_ (Y/f/n)… _

Since the mysterious girl appeared in Asgard, he couldn’t find peace. Frankly, he couldn’t find one for a very long time, but with her presence, it all became even harder. Who was she and what was she looking here, in Asgard? She might have been telling him many things, maybe some of them even true, but Thor knew that there was a huge part of her life, a huge part of the truth she was still hiding. But he couldn’t blame her, could he? She was suddenly alone, ill, on a foreign planet, not sure about her fate here. Maybe it was just a self-defense mechanism? When too afraid for her own life she lied to protect herself? Or maybe he was still naïve, seeing good where it wasn’t present and he saw something in her that wasn’t even there? 

_ He needed answers and he needed them fast… _

“I’m glad we agree on that one, lady Sif.” Volstagg nodded contented, smiling to his king, who finally came to reality again, his eyes focusing on his friend and lips raising in a half-smile, even though he had no idea what the two of them were talking about.

“But we still have one more problem…” Hogun suddenly looked at Thor, his eyes almost piercing through his king, for a moment feeling like he could almost read in his mind. “ _ The girl. _ ”

“The girl?” Fandral repeated, raising his eyebrow, suddenly curious once again. “What girl?”

Thor blinked, surprised by the question and he was about to ask what girl was he talking about, but one look into his friends’ eyes and he knew that he was talking about (y/f/n).

“How do you know about her?” Thor frowned.

“The palace is small. And people talk.” He said simply, shrugging.

“I know all the gossips in the castle and believe me, I haven’t heard that one!” Volstagg cocked his head, suddenly interested.

“I can only say that your sources and completely different from mine…” Hogun answered. 

“Less funny?”

“More reliable…”

“Wait, are we talking about that girl who was let here by Heimdall?” Sif asked, interrupting their banter.

“Yes.”

“So that’s true? Heimdall did let someone here? Without asking for permission? Without  _ your  _ permission?” Her eyebrows raised questioningly, her eyes on Thor, who suddenly sighed heavily, clearly avoiding her gaze.

“And I have to ask once again… What girl? Am I missing something?” Fandral looked from one friend to another but none of them even paid attention and Volstagg just shrugged.

“Don’t ask me, as I said, I didn’t know about her either…”

“I don’t blame Heimdall for letting her in,” Thor explained. “And as soon as I knew I allowed on that.”

“But why?”

“She was hurt, dying, what kind of king would I be, if I leave her there to die?”

“So what, now we’re going to just let each poor soul into Asgard? Just because they were hurt?” Volstagg raised his eyebrow.

“I…” Thor shook his head.

“Well, if she was pretty, then it would be a good argument to let her stay…” 

“Fandral, there’s not a good time for jokes, it’s serious. Letting a foreigner into our kingdom in times like this is… Reckless, at least.”

“Oh come on, aren’t we worried a bit too much?” Volstagg interrupted. “It’s just a girl, what harm can she make?”

“Are you implying that a woman is unable of being a threat?” Sif narrowed her eyes dangerously, her hands curling into fists.

“There, there, I am sure that’s not what he meant… Right, Volstagg?” Hogun raised his brow, silently warning his friend.

“No, of course not! I just… What I wanted to say was…”

“Look, there’s no point dwelling on it.” Thor raised his hands. “Heimdall let her in, I chose to let her stay and recover here. We can’t go back in time and change it. I will let her rest and heal for however long she will need.”

“And then?” Sif asked. “When she will feel better, will you let her stay?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“But you thought about it?”

“Right now what’s important is her getting better. What will happen next is a problem for another time…” Thor closed his eyes.

“What do we know about her?” Fandral asked.

“You ask about her because you’re curious or because you’re wondering if she’s pretty enough to go out with you?” Sif teased him and Volstagg snorted.

“Excuse me, I feel offended! I only want to know where did she come from and if she may be _ _ a threat to us or not!” He crossed arms on his chest.

“Her name is (y/f/n). She’s from Vanaheim and she claims to be the trader.”

“Claims?” Hogun repeated.

Thor hesitated for a moment, feeling eyes of his friends on him and finally sighed heavily.

“To be honest… I don’t believe her. At least not entirely.” He confessed, seeing their eyes widening.

“But you said…”

“I know what I said. And I still stand by it. I don’t think she is any kind of threat to Asgard… But when I talked to her… I had this feeling like she is hiding something, maybe not everything, but that there is some part of her she wants to hide from us and pretend to be someone else.”

“Do you have any idea what that could be?”

“No. Not at all…” Thor sighed, suddenly feeling tired.

How did his father manage to do all of this? Planning, all by himself, when even with the help of his friends he couldn’t even make one single decision without doubting it, without doubting himself, thinking that maybe he made a wrong choice, that maybe he should have decided differently… 

“There’s only one way to find out about her plans,” Hogun said suddenly. “Someone should interrogate her.”

“Interrogate her?” Volstagg raised an eyebrow. “You mean put her into the dungeons and starve her until she will be willing to talk?”

“Not that kind of interrogation!” Hogun rolled his eyes. “We’re not savages!”

“But we can send someone who could trick her into giving us the information we need…” Sif said thoughtfully.

“Exactly!” Hogun nodded.

“Someone smart, deceitful… Who wouldn’t raise any suspicions with innocent questions… Someone who would gain her trust and without her noticing…”

“…she would give us information on a plate… Brilliant!” 

“Oh, come on, you just have to ask…” Fandral waved his head, which caused the rest of the table to burst out laughing.

“You?” Volstagg laughed, leaning back in his chair, almost collapsing with it to the floor. “ _ You? _ ”

“What’s so funny? I am perfect for this job! I’m good looking, smart…”

“Well, good looking yes, but smart?” Sif snorted with amusement, which caused Volstagg to started laughing yet again.

“Hey! That hurt my feelings!” Fandral put a hand to his chest, pouting.

“If what I heard is true from the guards, she won’t be the one swooning over you, Fandral…” Hogun put a hand on his arm.

“Why?”

“She simply has some standards…”

“Ha. Ha. Hilarious…” Fandral murmured, squinting his eyes at another joke on his expense.

“Now, be serious boys.” Sif shook her head. “The idea is good but we need to…”

But Thor didn’t listen. His mind kept on orbiting about Hogun’s suggestion, the one about sending someone to question her, someone who would be able to get at least some of the answers he wanted to know… (Y/f/n) was still a huge mystery and a part of him felt like he couldn’t believe her, at least not in everything she was saying. Hogun’s plan could work but now he just needed someone who could do this…

And Thor did know such a person, a person who would determine once and for all, whether their mysterious guest was lying for all this time, or at least how big part of the truth she was hiding… But was the risk worth it? Could he trust him enough?

“I know who we can send.” He said suddenly and the voices of his friends went silent, all eyes turning to look at him.

“You do?”

“There is a person perfect for this job, but… You’re not gonna like it…”

“I already don’t like this…” Volstagg murmured.

“Who the hell are you talking about?” Fandral shook his head.

Thor sighed, his lips raising in a strange grimace, something between smile and tiredness and at that moment they all knew who he had in mind.

“Oh no… No, no, no…” Fandral shook his head.

“Are you mad? He can’t be trusted!” Sif burst out.

“It’s our only choice… I’d rather trust him than  _ her _ …”

“Thor, this is madness… He already betrayed you so many times! How do you know he won’t do this again?“

“I know, I know... But let’s face it, we don’t have a choice.” He raised his eyes and looked at his friends seriously, all of their eyes wide opened and locked on him, still not believing the person he was about to suggest. “We need to send Loki…”


	6. INTERROGATION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your Name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name

When the door to her room started to open, (y/n) raised her brows indifferently, ready to meet with the familiar broad figure of Thor, well,  _king Thor_ now, or a petite, yet terrifying silhouette of her healer. She was so used to their constant visits for the past weeks, that she didn't expect anyone else at all. Frankly, she started to wonder that maybe they did see right through her cover and took her here as kind of a prisoner. Under the illusion of 'taking care of her', they just wanted to keep her in one place, under their careful watch, knowing where she was and what was she doing. Or maybe after all those years she was just paranoid… Because how could they know who she was, huh? They never showed any kind of suspicion towards her, never questioned anything she told them… Was their act so good or was she slowly going crazy, not knowing where exactly was she standing? 

“Well?” (y/n) asked, not even raising her head from the book she was reading in her hands, trying to make her voice sound almost cheerful. “What do you want from me today again? Take away a bit of my blood again? Check if my ribs are healing well enough? Or maybe check my other vitals again?”

“Neither of the above… I came to talk.” Said a voice who belonged neither to Thor, neither to any of the healers.

(y/n) blinked several times, her eyes widening, when she realized that she knew the voice of a person that came to her room, that she  _knew _ the person who just entered.

Because even if years have passed since their last meeting, even if the passing time destroyed the details of the memories she had, blurred some of the images, she could still recognize his voice. And she would, anytime, and anyplace. Even against herself, she held her breath and straightening her back, as she started to raise her gaze, slowly, oh, almost agonizingly slowly, heart in her chest beating like crazy, not ready for a view she was about to see. Because the person who came was a ghost from her past, the one she thought she'd never see ever again in her life. Swallowing hard she dared to raise her face and finally her eyes met the curious gaze of a man standing on the other side of the room. He had longer hair than she remembered if it's possible he became even taller and paler, but those little changes in his appearance were nothing and he was still the same man he once was. 

_Loki…_

Prince of Asgard, God of Mischief, a Trickster. The traitor who betrayed not only his kingdom but his father, his brother and all of his family. A person who saw the darkest parts of the universe, the person who went through hell and came back. A person she once knew, a person she spent every free moment with, a partner, a friend, a person she had…

“I am in no mood for talking.” She asked harshly, trying to get rid of memories, flooding her mind since the moment he entered her room.

“Shame…” Loki sighed, taking a step closer towards her, curiously eyeing the walls of the room she was in. “You’ve been sitting here for days, alone, with no one to talk to…”

“I talked with people. Healers. King.” She crossed arms on her chest, raising her brow. “I don’t need anyone else.”

“Shame…” Loki repeated, still looking around, almost like he was purposely avoiding looking straight at her.

What was he even doing here? In Asgard? (y/n) knew the gossips, ohhh, the gossips were the best trading material when she was in that forsaken planet she promised never to spoke the name of ever again. And she knew all about his actions, how he brought the invasion on Midgard, how he betrayed his brother, how he exiled the All-father and after all of this pretended to be him? The list of his crimes was even longer, well, at least from what she had heard… She would never imagine that after all this time, after everything that he had done, he will be still in Asgard, not even in prison, but walking freely around and now, being here… What did he want from her? Why did he come? Did Thor send him?

To her annoyance and embarrassment, (y/n) realized that her heart is still beating like crazy, her pulse quickened like it hasn't in ages and her hands were trembling almost unnoticeably against the cover of her book. Because she was prepared for many things, but meeting Loki here was not one of them… She cleared her throat, lowering her gaze once again, pretending to be interested in the book laying on her lap and completely ignoring the presence of the other man.

But she could still sense him, his presence, his eyes on her, not averting from her even for one moment. She swallowed hard, shaking her head and finding the sentence she was reading moments ago, but knowing that she won't be able to focus on it anymore. Not since he was here and it seemed like he didn't plan on leaving any time soon. (y/n) swallowed when she realized he was coming closer to her and when she felt the mattress of her bed bending down, under the weight of his body, when he sat right next to her, she realized she wasn't even breathing anymore.

As soon as he sat next to her, Loki eyed her carefully, his gaze moving across her with interest. There was something off about her, something he couldn't put his finger on… On the first look, she was just a woman, with her back against the wall for better comfort, a book in her hands, eyes scanning the lines when she was reading it carefully. But yet… There something almost regal in the way she straightened her back, something proud in her pose, almost like she was not afraid of the person she was. The hands gripping the book weren't smooth like the one he could see in the Asgardian's nobles, no, these were the hands of a hardworking girl, who was no afraid of getting them dirty. And the way she was sitting… She reminded him of a wild cat, closed in a trap, all of the muscles tensed, whole body ready to take off and run when her life would be threatened… He could be wrong, obviously, but he was always proud of his abilities to read through people and the longer he was looking at her, the more he kept on thinking that his brother was right and that was much more to her story then she told them. 

“Is it good?” (y/n) heard Loki’s voice and ignored the urge to raise her eyes and look at him.

“What?” She asked innocently.

“Your book. Is it good?”

“It was better before I was interrupted.” She said coldly, hoping that her indifference will be enough to make him go away.

_But of course it couldn’t be that easy, could it?_

Instead of leaving, or at least getting annoyed, Loki smirked, corner of his lips raising slightly when he cocked his head, to read the letters on the front cover.

"Darra Tharlioth." He read out loud, his eyebrow raised just slightly. "Song of the Valkyrie…" He translated, looking back from the book and trying to meet the girl's eyes, who was still clearly ignoring him. "Interesting choice…"

“I asked for a book so I wouldn’t die of boredom here. The brought me this among the others, so…” She lied, eyes still locked on the same verse, trying so hard to focus on it.

This book wasn't  _that _ random. Of course, she couldn't ask for this title directly and risk compromising her cover, but after being veeeery picky she annoyed one of the healers that much, that the woman brought her the list of almost every book in the library and ordered to choose. 

“From all the books Asgard has to offer they brought you this one?” His brow raised even higher, yet still with clear interest, almost like he was trying to solve the puzzle, not suspect her of any hidden motives. Which was… somehow relieving.

"Look." With a sigh she closed the book, finally looking at him, her sight calm and indifferent when she met his eyes. "I won't bite the hand who feeds. I asked for books, they brought me some, I liked this one. Is it a crime?"

“I was just curious. Usually people choose… lighter things to read. Legends of Asgard. The tales of Odin’s battles…”

“Oh yes, description of battles must be a better lecture than this one.” She rolled her eyes, pointing to her book.

“Fair enough, this was a bad example…” He agreed.

"So if you don't mind…" (y/n) smiled apologetically, opening her book once again and focusing on the same page she was rereading for the last minutes.

"I could recommend you some if you want."

She sighed, raising her eyebrows skeptically.

“You came all the way here, to talk about books? Did Thor send you?”

“No.” He lied smoothly. “I just heard about a beautiful girl, found dying and since my brother can’t always keep you company I thought I take his place.”

(Y/n) raised her eyebrow, on the verge of laughter by his tries to impress and compliment her.  _Oh, so that’s why he was really here, huh? _ Maybe she was wrong, but could it be that Thor sent him here to get to know the secrets she refused on telling him so stubbornly? Was he so suspicious that now he was sending his brother to interrogate her? But most importantly, did he really think that she was going to fall for it? 

“I am quite okay without any companions, thank you very much. I have my books, my ribs are healing, I don’t need anything else. You can tell your brother that.”

“I will.” Loki nodded and for a moment it seemed like he was going to leave when she heard him took a deep breath and she knew, that it won’t happen.

“But I must say that my favorite volume is still the one with Asgardian tales for children.” He admitted, finally getting her full attention.

“Really? Tales? You can’t be serious…” She snorted, smiling, thinking that both can play this game and if he so stubbornly insists on keeping her busy, she will give him what he wanted. “They’re for children!”

“They may be… But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy them as an adult…” He smirked.

“Okay…” (y/n) put down her book and laced hands on her lap, watching him with curiosity. “Tell me about your favorite one then.”

“My favorite one?”

“Yup! I want to hear!”

“Well… So there’s the one about prince Sigurd and the dragon… “

"Let me guess… The kidnapped princess, waiting for her prince to come to the rescue…" She teased him, knowing exactly the tale he was talking about. Ohh, how many times did she listen to it when she was a child, thinking how great would it be in the place of the prince, being the one to have such great adventures, meeting the dragon herself…

"Not exactly… More like a family curse, gold stolen from dwarves and a boy who loved adventures…"

“Okay, that does sound good…”

"And treason."

“Oh… Well, tales are meant to teach children lessons, right?”

“There are more of them… About Idun and her golden apples… Magical garden of Leira…” He started to mention story after story and even against herself, (y/n) smiled to herself when she noticed a happy sparkle in his eyes. And in that very moment he reminded her of the old Loki, she once knew, the book mole, just like her, when they have spent hours in the library, each one of them hidden in their world of imagination, living through battles, fighting the monsters, being the heroes they always wanted to be. 

“...story of Volund…” Loki continued, bringing her back to reality.

"Ugh, only not Volund…" (y/n) rolled her eyes. "A romance for young girls, hoping to find the love of their lives when they should learn that harsh truth that things like that  _do not _ happen in real life…” She snorted shaking her head. “The curse of Andvari’s ring, ohh, that’s a story! Adventures, magic, treasures…” She smiled, shaking her head. 

“Interesting… So you do know Asgardian tales…”

"Oh yeah, my mother…" She stopped abruptly, her eyes widening, a cold sweat on her back, when she realized that he got her. That he led her right into a perfectly weaved trap, making her spill something, she was never supposed to say.

_And she always thought of herself as a smart one…_

How could she fell for that? For a stupid talk about the tales, she shouldn't even know at first place? How could she lower her guard so much she made the biggest mistake she could have done? 

“Your mother… what?” Loki asked, a smirk wandering on his lips, the one full of satisfaction that he did got what he came here for.

“My mother once told me that story.” She finished, clearing her throat.

“Your mother? Interesting… But you said you’ve been raised on Vanaheim?” He frowned theatrically, pretending to be deeply intrigued by that little inconsistency in her story.

"I… I was…" (y/n) lied, but she knew she won't be able to fool him anymore. Not  _him_ and not now when she got into his trap and in such a stupid way…

“You’re lying.” He said simply, his piercing eyes never leaving hers. “And you’ve not only been to Asgard before… You _are_ an Asgardian…” Loki finally said, raising his brow with a real surprise at the revelation. 

“I didn’t say anything like that!” (y/n) snorted.

“Oh, you don’t have to say anything, darling…” He smirked, suddenly reaching out for her hands, grabbing them into strong, yet gentle grasp, his eyes locking with hers, his gaze making it unable to look back. “I saw it all in your eyes…”

(Y/n) wanted to protest again, desperately trying to free her hand from his grip, but his hold was almost like steel, holding her in one place, yet still gentle enough, almost like he didn’t want to hurt her. For a moment all she could think of was his long fingers around her wrist, his cold skin being almost a pleasant contrast to her warm body, still tormented by fever. She pursued her lips together, into one thin line, her gaze meeting the look of his green eyes, her sight daring, almost challenging him. But it was only an act, a mere try of pretending to hide the real feelings that burst out inside her with his one single touch. The way her heart started to beat like crazy in her chest, the way his fingers caused goosebumps on her arms, the gentle brush of his fingers meeting with a shiver going down her spine. 

“Interesting…” Loki said, eyeing her with interest, almost like she was the most engaging experiment. “Your pulse has quickened…” He added thoughtfully and (y/n) had to clench her teeth together to resist the urge to free her hand from his grip. “You _are_ lying to me.” He said simply, his green eyes meeting hers, bright blue. “Or you’re attracted to me and that’s the way your body is telling you this.” The corner of his lips raised in a smirk and (y/n) snorted, finally freeing her palm from his grip.

“Or maybe it’s adrenaline rushing through my veins, because a stranger was touching me?” She hissed at him, her eyes narrowing into two thin lines, when she was eyeing him with hatred.

“Guess we will never know for sure…” He shrugged, almost innocently.

For a moment she was still looking at him, carefully, suspiciously, angrily and after a few long moments of uncomfortable silence, Loki sighed, almost like only now he got the hint that his presence was unwanted here.

"Well then… I got what I came here for…" He clasped his hands against thighs and stood up, straightening. "Rest well, my lady." With a smile, he bowed his head goodbye and a few seconds later he was gone like he was never there at first place.

Only the memory of his hands on hers, the way his eyes were eyeing her carefully, the thought of anger rushing through her veins were the indication that he truly was there and all of this  _did _ happen. (y/n) looked down at her hands, now curled into fists and she cursed, the urge to punch something,  _anything_ so great, that she almost did.

_She was compromised…_


	7. ASSASSIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name

A long few days have passed since Loki's visit and for all this time (y/n) was sitting alone in her room, unable to rest, capable of thinking only about the foolish way she confessed the secret she was supposed to hide. How, oh how could she be so stupid to let her guards down and in such a stupid way reveal that she was an Asgardian? Somewhere deep down she wanted to believe that she still stood a chance here, that her cover still wasn't entirely blown up and that she could still fulfill her mission. But… For those last days nor Thor, nor Loki came to her, the only person that visited were the healers, bringing her food, checking her vitals and coming and going, again and again, without speaking a single word to her. They let her wander around the castle to her surprise, never leaving the door closed, but she was still well aware of all the pair of eyes, guards, spies, watching her every movement. So no matter how much freedom they claimed to grant her, she still felt like a prisoner, always having a shadow behind her back, every step being carefully followed… She slowly began to lose hope, thinking that there were the last days she was meant to spend here, until one day the door to her room opened and familiar broad figure of Thor appeared in them.

“Walk with me, (y/f/n)…” He asked and without waiting for her response, left the room, clearly expecting her to follow him.

The girl blinked, surprised, but nodded and stood up, following Thor. He took one of the corridors she knew so well and they started to walk, arm to arm, in this strange, but at the same time comfortable silence, their steps echoing from the walls when he was leading her to the main part of the palace. And the longer they walked, still not talking, the more nervous (y/n) was becoming. He didn't take her that far before, leading to the parts of the palace she couldn't recall. Did he have any hidden intentions behind that simple walk? Was it a smart plan of keeping her on her toes, until she will finally start to talk, unable to stand the silence anymore? Or maybe he saw right through her and planned on getting rid of her?

“This way.” He spoke, suddenly turning left and soon they were both standing on the balcony, a breathtaking view of the whole Asgard in front of them.

(y/n) took a step closer, half of her not believing in the view she had in front of her eyes. She put hands on the railing, leaning down and moved her gaze through the view.

_She forgot how beautiful it was here…_

Somewhere in the distance, the sun was shining from behind the high mountains, a golden circle engulfing every building, every person in its warm rays. The high buildings, covered with metal and gold were shining, the light of the sun they were reflecting almost blinding. And ohhh, the way the green trees, bushes, and other plants were curling around some of the stones, finding their way between the bricks, holding here or there, creating the amazing and unrepeatable kind of maze, making the city look new and old at the same time. And when she looked at the bridge over the lake she smiled to herself, suddenly remembering her younger self, long, long time ago, galloping through this bridge, wind in her hair, when she was so free, so careless, so full of hope back then…

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Thor smiled, coming closer to the girl and with a smile watching her face when she was still trying to take it all in.

"Yes…" She admitted, corners of her lips lifting in a smile. "It is…"

“I always like to come here, when I need to think. It’s peaceful, far from the crowd and my duties as a king… I can sit here for hours, just looking and thinking, reminding myself that all this effort I have to put in protecting this place… That it is worth it.”

“It is truly beautiful…” She said once again, lips still curling in a smile when she was trying to memorize it all, to make a mental picture of that view and keep it forever.

“So why did you leave?”

Her heart stopped for a moment when she heard the question and she slowly turned her head to look at him.

“I beg your pardon, your majesty?” She asked nervously, hoping that face didn’t betray her by showing how much his one single question moved her to the core.

Thor cocked his head, eyeing her carefully.

“I know you’re Asgardian.” He said. “My brother told me about your little chat…”

“I would rather say it was an interrogation…” She murmured.

_Of course, Loki would tell his brother everything he knew… Why did she even hope otherwise? _

“So?” Thor was relentless. “What made you leave the city and never came back?”

She didn’t answer. Avoiding Thor’s gaze she looked away, biting her lower lip and for a moment thinking of an answer. _What the hell was she supposed to tell him? _She couldn't tell him the truth as that would mean blowing her cover and confessing to who she was. And lying? None of the lies she could up with was good enough to both feed his curiosity and make her trustworthy.

"The threat of war is upon us," Thor said suddenly, when she was still silent, thinking of the right answer. "Right before my father died, he warned me about enemies of Asgard, just waiting for his death and opportunity to strike. For months I thought that we were safe, people were still living their lives and the peace was everywhere, but… There's just something hanging in the air… I can feel it, people can feel it…" He sighed. "Something dark and big is coming and the thought of someone threatening me and my people…" Thor hung his voice and looked at her, his gaze expressing everything he probably wanted to say.

“You think I’m the threat?” (y/n) asked, opening her eyes.

“I don't know what to think.” He answered simply. “But you came here out of nowhere and I know you’re not telling us the whole truth about yourself.” He looked at her again, the look of his blue eyes almost burning through her.

“I…”

“I know that you have secrets, everyone has them. Everyone has that part of life they want to hide from the rest of the world, but… I need to think of my people and the fate of my city. And I can’t fully trust you if you refuse to tell me who are you and what are you doing here?”

(Y/n) opened her mouth, then closed them, hands grabbing the railing of the balcony, her knuckles almost white. Until finally, she let them relax, fingers straightening and a heavy sigh escaping her lips when she finally made up her mind.

"I was a slave." She confessed. "There's this forgotten planet in the universe, called Sakaar. It's a place where everything and everyone lost and unwanted go. When I got there, they told me there's no way out and that if I want to survive, I have to fight. So I did fight. I trained long hours and days trying to be as best as I could. Until finally after years of being a prisoner – I won my freedom back. They gave it back, took away all of the weapons I had, paid me some money for the journey and simply let me go…"

“I’ve heard about Sakaar. About the Grandmaster and his fight of the champions…”

“Whatever you’ve heard, I can assure you that the truth looks quite different. In a bad way…” She snorted, shaking her head, almost like this simple gesture would help her get rid of the memories she didn't want to recall.

"If you've been such a great warrior there… How did you end up beaten and half-dead?"

"I had no weapons! And even being a skilled warrior, do you think I stood a chance against a group of three grown-up man!? Determined to steal everything from me and kill me?" She raised her voice, eyes squinting with anger. "And look, they almost succeeded!"

“Knowing the stories of Sakaar I have heard it’s still hard for me to believe that they just let you go…” Thor raised eyebrow suspiciously and (y/n) sighed heavily.

"Look… I know I wasn't honest with you from the beginning, well, I simply didn't tell you the whole truth but… I did earn my way back, being a faithful Grandmaster's pet, always doing whatever he wanted. But even my glory was meant to end one day. I got boring, people knew me and my tricks too well and nothing was exciting about the fights I put up, not anymore. They could have killed me, or prison me, or just let me die but… I earned my respect and even though Grandmaster is the reckless and cruel man he does appreciate those who work for him. And he granted me my freedom.”

"But you still didn't tell me why did you leave Asgard in the first place?"

(Y/n) scoffed, shaking her head, feeling the same regret and betrayal, almost like one day passed since she left Asgard, not long years.

“I didn’t leave Asgard…” She confessed quietly. “I was made to…”

“You’ve been banished?” Thor’s surprised gaze met hers and (y/n) nodded. “But… But why?”

"Let's just say I've put my faith in people I shouldn't have trusted... And for that, I had to pay the highest price of losing everything I've ever loved…" She forced a smile, realizing that unwanted tears started to gather in her eyes at the unwanted memories and pain. "But it's been a long time ago…" She murmured.

"Fair enough." Thor nodded and turned around, walking back into the direction they've come from.

“Fair enough?” (y/n) ran after him. “And that’s all you have to say?”

“I wanted to know the truth and you gave me one.”

“So what now? Am I still being a prisoner here?”

“A prisoner?” Thor looked around to look at her, surprised. “You were never a prisoner here!”

"Oh, really? So all those pairs of eyes, hidden in the dark corridors, watching my every move… They were just a coincidence?"

Thor stopped, once again turning to look at her, a heavy sigh escaping his lips.

“Look. You need to understand that I had to keep an eye on you. I knew nothing of you and couldn’t trust you, even if I wanted. But you were never a prisoner.”

“So if I’d like to just walk out through the main palace doors and leave…”

“There won’t be anyone stopping you. But… If you’d like to stay…” He shrugged, corners of his lips lifting in a smile.

“But my banishment…”

“Like you said – it was a long time ago…”

She already opened her mouth, ready to protest once again, unable to process the thought she was truly free to do whatever she wanted, but that's when (y/n) saw _him_. A dark figure, well hidden in the shadows, almost motionless, only the light reflecting in his blade, gripped in his right hand was betraying his hidden spot right now.

_And then everything happened at once…_

Thor turned his back to her, taking the first step and the blade of knife in the hands of assassin moved when he straightened, raising his hand, palm fiercely gripping the blade, knife raised high, ready to strike a deadly blow, meant for the neck of the king.

(Y/n) didn't even realize she screamed, a single word of warning leaving her lips, giving that one second of leverage and distraction they needed. The hand holding the knife hesitated and Thor looked to his left, eyes widening at the sight of the man that wasn't there moments ago. Both men froze, startled and surprised by each other's presence and that's when (y/n) attacked.

With all her speed and strength, she threw herself at the assassin, grabbing his waist and tackling him to the ground with a scream. His hand relaxed and the blade fell to the floor with a clatter, the two of them tearing each other, wallowing on the floor, each one of them desperately looking for any kind of leverage.

“Run!” (Y/n) shouted blindly, hoping that Thor won’t try to play the hero like he always did but will indeed run away and hide, remembering that he’s a king this city needed.

"Get. Off. Me. You. Bitch!" The assassin lying under her punched her right in the ribs, in a desperate try to get free from her grip and (y/n) groaned, her freshly healed ribs suddenly feeling like on fire, the almost unbearable pain spreading across her chest. But she didn't release her grip, her hands clenching around assassin's throat like steel. She was breathing heavily, her every breath causing another wave of being in her ribs, yet her hands never loosen their grip, fingers clenching more and more when she was desperately trying to end both her and his torments.

And soon it was over. Breathing heavily, (y/n) stood up, wobbly on her legs and dizzy from the fight, another wave of pain in her chest when she took a breath too deep for her condition. She bent her body in half, lowering her head, to stop that annoying dizziness.

“(Y/f/n)!” She heard a familiar voice and slowly raised her head to look at the person who approached her.

Thor and four other guards were running towards her, their eyes widening at the sight of the assassin, his lifeless body laying on the ground without moving.

“(Y/f/n)!” Thor repeated, coming closer to her and putting both of his hands on her arms. “Are you okay?”

"I'm fine." She nodded but grimaced as soon as she said that, when another wave of pain spread through her body.

“You don’t look fine.” Thor frowned, carefully scanning her body, looking for any wounds. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, it’s just… My ribs…” She grimaced once again and almost instinctively grabbed Thor’s arm, clenching her fingers around it, the only support she could find.

Thor took a step closer towards her, his arm going around her waist to let her lean against him and his worried look moved across her face once again.

“Healers should take a look at this…”

“I told you I’m fine!”

“No, you’re not! You’ve just healed them, we can’t take this risk.”

“Why do you care for my well-being, huh? A few hours ago you probably thought I am a traitor.” She rolled her eyes.

“Maybe you were. But now you just saved the king. Which makes you a hero.” Something similar to smile appeared on Thor’s face and (y/n) blinked with shock, only now realizing the importance of her gesture.

_She did save the king's life… _

It wasn't even planned, she saw a threat and her instincts were telling her to eliminate it. And in that one moment, she forgot about her hatred, about her prejudice and things she should believe in. Her mind just kept on thinking she needed to save his life and get rid of the assassin, no matter what. But now, once she did… Maybe something good could come up from this situation?

She was about to let Thor take her back to the infirmary, when suddenly her eyes noticed something, a part of tattoo, sticking out from the sleeve of a masked man and she frowned at the sight of it.

_She knew that tattoo…_

"Give me a moment." She asked and Thor nodded, carefully watching her, when (y/n) kneeled beside dead assassin, ripping the material off to expose his forearm. She wasn't sure when and where exactly did she see this tattoo, but that carefully drawn skull with ornaments was strangely familiar, bringing back the memories of… Her eyes widened at the realization.

_No, it couldn’t be…_

In one swift movement, she ripped the mask off of the assassin's face and she almost choked on the air she violently breathed in her lungs.

"Do you know him?" Thor asked, watching her carefully, when her wide-opened eyes kept on moving across the assassin's face, almost like she was believing that it wasn't happening, that it was just her imagination giving her the false illusions...

"No…" She lied smoothly. "I thought I did since the tattoo seemed familiar, but… No."

"I'll ask around, maybe someone else recognizes him… Now come on!"

She stood up with the help of his strong arm and willingly let him take her back, yet her eyes shot the last one look at the body laying on the floor, the face of a man familiar, a face she was seeing almost every day for the past months.

He was one of them.

_He worked for Hela…_


	8. A HERO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name
> 
> This chapter may contain swearing and mentioning of wounds and blood.

(Y/n) became Asgardian’s hero. 

Well, at least kind of a hero, minding that she was still seen as a threat by some of the people. But no one could deny that she did a great job protecting their king and killing the assassin who got into their city. No one seemed to ask the most important question, the one that (Y/n) kept on thinking about over and over again.

_How did he get here?_

She knew about secret passage between the worlds, the one hidden deep in caves, a passage that Loki once showed her ages ago, when they were still children. But she was also well aware that this passage led to nowhere and Hela couldn’t possibly knew about it, yet send someone through it. Heimdall would never let someone like assassin into Asgard, so that way was out of discussion as well. It seemed like the man appeared out of nowhere, materialized inside the castle, just waiting for the proper moment to get rid of the king. 

But he  _had _ to come here somehow. Magic like this, allowing someone to just transport from one place to another didn’t exist, even in Asgard. Was there a passage (Y/n) didn’t know about? Was there a place capable of people letting travel between the worlds, without Heimdall noticing? (Y/n) even shared her doubts with Thor, who now seemed to trust her almost unconditionally. Well, apparently saving king’s life has its perks… She was now not only free to walk around the palace without any tails or guards spying on her, she was treated like a guest from now on and if anyone would like to doubt her motives… Well, let’s just say no one dared, not since it meant to face the king himself. 

(Y/n) took another turn left and finally got to the place where assassin attacked them at first place. She wasn’t sure what to look for, if there was anything to look for, but she had to do something, not to go crazy. Not that she felt bad for killing him, no, no. Frankly, she hated him. He was one of Svan’s most loyal friends and a douchebag just like the first man. And the risk was always part of their job… She kneeled down, carefully eyeing the niche where he was hiding, seconds before the attack. Maybe she will find something here? Maybe the wall in front of her was just an illusion and secret passage was hidden behind it? She straightened and placed both of her hands in the wall, slowly adding more and more pressure. But no matter how much she tried, trying to force the wall to move – it didn’t move.

“You’re looking in a wrong place.” She heard a voice behind her back and turned around abruptly, feeling like a child caught on something she wasn’t supposed to be doing.

But as soon as she realized that the person who caught her was no one else but Loki she visibly relaxed, her eyebrow raising.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re looking for one of the secret passages. But it’s not here.” He pointed to the wall and (Y/n) swallowed hard.

“I… I only wanted…”

“I am not my brother, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. Though I am truly curious why was you looking for one…” He smirked.

“This man… Assassin… He must have come here through some secret passage, right? Heimdall would never let him go and the passage in the caves is…”

“You know that passage?” Loki interrupted her, a shock mixing with disbelief when she mentioned it.

(Y/n) bit her tongue, mentally cursing.  _Of course… _ Once again she had to blurt something out in his presence, revealing more than she should have…

“Yes.” She admitted, knowing there was no point in lying right now. “I used it once.”

“Huh. Interesting…” Loki eyed her carefully but (Y/n) held his gaze, crossing arms on her chest.

“So as I was saying…” She continued. “Assassin couldn’t use it, so there must be another, the one I didn’t know about…”

“Oh, there are a lot more of them, if you want to know…”

“More of them? Like plural?” (Y/n) raised an eyebrow, wondering if he could be lying to her.

“I found at least four. Heard about two more, but one of them is underwater and the other might be just a legend…”

“So he could have used one of them…”

“He could. But he had to know about it first. And he wasn’t Asgardian, nor my friend so on the other hand it’s pretty much impossible.”

“Why? Because you think only you are cunning enough to have found them?”

“Something like that.” He smirked.

(Y/n) just rolled her eyes and was about to go back to examining the wall, when Loki spoke her name.

“You might want to check the east wall in the dead-end behind the armory.” He said and without another word he turned around, disappearing at the other side of the corridor.

(Y/n)’s eyes were looking after him, until finally he fully disappeared and only then she let out a heavy sigh. Could he be trusted? He didn’t have any reason to lie to her, did he? And at least trying didn’t hurt, right? Without hesitation she moved towards the armory, walking through the secluded corridors, her every step echoing around. It took her a longer moment to realize that after a few minutes she didn’t hear just the sound of her steps but she heard  _pair _ of them. Slowing down she took a rapid turn to the left and soon her hands were clenching around someone’s neck, the knife almost magically appearing in her hand, now pressed to their throat.

“Following me, huh?” She hissed, the tip of her knife dipping into the skin, the first drop of blood appearing under it, causing a masked person to moan.

“(Y/n), it’s me!” She heard a whisper and blinked, not believing her own ears.

“Arnissa?” She asked, releasing the grip on her friend’s neck. “What are you doing here?”

The other girl took off her mask and smiled weakly, while her other hand pressed to the small wound on her neck, trying to stop the bleeding.

“Sorry for that…”

“No, that’s fine. I know you well, I shouldn’t have been sneaking up on you.” She tried to smile and soon (Y/n) relaxed, her lips lifting in a smile too.

“But what brings you here?”

“We… I… I was ordered to capture you and bring you back to Hela…”

“What!? But my work here isn’t done yet! I was meant to gather more intel and now…”

“I know, I know… But… After you have killed Alff…” She hung her voice and (Y/n) felt all the blood drained from her face.

_They knew… Hela knew…_

“I… Arnissa… You need to understand that I…”

“They managed to get you on their side so quickly, huh?” Arnissa’a smile disappeared, making place for a cold gaze, when her eyes were looking at her once friend emotionlessly. “Was the promise of home again enough to forget about our mission?”

“I never forgot about it!” (Y/n) hissed in protest. “I had no idea it was Alff when I was killing him!”

“That’s a good lie… Let’s see if you will manage to sell it to out queen.”

“Hela? Hela sent you here?”

“She needs to know why have you betrayed her. And she will be the one to decide on your fate.” Arnissa grabbed (Y/n)’s arm but in a one swift motion she freed herself from her grip.

“I am not coming back with you. I had done nothing wrong!”

“I have my orders, (Y/n).”

“So do I! I won’t face Hela being accused of something I haven’t even done!”

“So you plan on doing this the hard way, huh?” Arnissa sighed heavily. “Fair enough…”

Before (Y/n) could react, Arnissa raised her hand and her fist met with the middle of (Y/n)’s face, making her lose her consciousness.

When she woke up she immediately recognized she wasn’t in Asgard anymore. The dark walls, creepy statues and green lights over her head were enough to make her realize she was back in Hela’s palace. At first she felt relief, feeling like she had come back to place she knew so well and claimed home for such a long time. But then she remembered how she got here in a first place and a cold shiver went down her spine.

_That couldn’t be good…_

“I see you decided to come back to us, huh?” She heard a familiar voice and rolled her eyes, grunting.

“Fuck you, Svan.” She snorted and he laughed, leaning down over her.

“Feisty as always. I see that betraying us didn’t change your spirit, huh?”

“I didn’t betray you.”

“Ohhh, really? So you don’t admit to killing one of us? Alff? Maybe this name sounds familiar to you?”

(Y/n) greeted her teeth and discreetly looked around, trying to count her chances. They were in a throne room, her body being tied to a chair standing in the middle of it, without giving her any chance to get free. She curled her hands into fists and threw her head back, letting her head fall back, giving her a clear view. But as soon as she did it, he immediately regretted the sudden movement, when the wave of pain spread throughout her face, reminding her of the punch she got just before losing her consciousness. She had to admit though, Arnissa was strong. She met Hela’s eyes, at the other side of the room and for a moment she held her gaze, trying to find anything in it, but it was as cold and unreadable as always, giving no hints about what was going on inside her head…

“You’ve killed one of ours!” Svan repeated and a murmur spread throughout the crowd gathered around them.

“I didn’t know who he was!”

“Ohh, really!? So you just randomly killed a person, not wondering from where he came from?”

“When someone is attacking me, I kill first, then I ask questions.”

“Unbelievable! And you think we’ll just blindly believe in this fairytale of yours!?”

“I don’t care what do _you _think, Svan. You’re an asshole and your opinion doesn’t really matter to me. Besides…” (Y/n) turned her head towards Hela. “There is one good thing from this situation.”

“Really?” Svan snorted, laughing out loud now.

“Yes. They trust me now. I killed an assassin to protect Asgard. If they had their doubts before, they all should be gone by now.”

“Wait, wait, wait… So now you’re telling me that you killed Alff to protect _Asgardian!?”_

“I killed him to protect their king!” She shouted and heard a few gasps behind her back.

“You… You…”

“My queen…” Ignoring Svan, (Y/n) laid her eyes on Hela. “I know that looks bad but I had no idea who he was until it was too late… When he attacked us, all I could think of was to protect myself… And Thor.” She admitted. “But I just didn’t think, the instinct told me to kill someone who wanted to hurt me at first place. Only then I took off his mask and realized I knew him. But… It was too late…” She shook her head. “You have to believe me!”

“We don’t have to do anything! You’re a traitor and…”

“Shh!” Hela silenced him and her curious eyes met (Y/n)’s ones.

She had to admit, she wasn't a person known for having any soft spots or leaving loose ends. Hela knew that every little detail, every weakness, _anything, _could be used against her. For years she has learnt that attachment was a weakness and she was proud of never having ones. But to be honest... _She had a soft spot for this girl... _No matter how much she tried to convince herself, she did care, in a strange way. For her she was like daughter she had never had, a fierce warrior she could led and created, a puppet in her hands that became everything she had wished for. And no matter how much Svan tried to show (Y/n) was a traitor, the more Hela felt like she wasn't.

“So you’re telling me you actually managed to save Thor from the death?” She said after a moment, careful so her voice wouldn't betray any of her emotions.

“Yes?”

“And now Asgardian must see you as a hero, huh?”

“They… They kind of do, yes. At first they didn’t fully believed my story, but now, when I saved their king… They had no other choice then show how grateful they are.”

“Interesting…”

“Forgive me, my queen, but you can’t really buy this story!” Svan snorted. “It’s just a lie she came up with to mess with us and give us illusion that…”

“Maybe.” Hela interrupted him once again. “But I don’t recall sending Alff to Asgard. Or attacking Thor. To be honest, I need him alive, at least for now, before we move to the second phase of our plan…”

“What are you trying to say, my queen? That Alff was working on his own? Behind your back?” Arnissa took a step closer towards the throne.

“Maybe… Or maybe… Someone else sent him, thinking that their ideas are better than mine?” She raised her eyebrow and looked around the crowd, but everyone was silent, avoiding her gaze. “That’s what I was thinking… Release her!”

“But…”

“I appreciate your concerns, Svan. But (Y/n) has a mission to do. And she must go back to Asgard at once!”

“But…”

“Do you question the orders of your queen?” Her voice filled with such hatred and ice that Svan took an abrupt step back, shaking his head.

“No, my queen. I’ll do just as you say.”

“Now take her back to Asgard! And stop wasting my time on childish quarrels like this…” She sighed, waving her hand dismissively.

“Well…” Svan frowned, looking at (Y/n), when the throne room door closed behind their backs. “Satisfied? That your little trick worked and Hela still believes you?”

“Oh, shut up, Svan!” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have to explain myself to you!”

“You know what? I don’t buy your act. I think you’re still Asgardian deep down in your heart and this whole mission, this whole… spying idea was just a plan to get yourself back into your home.”

“Bravo on your brilliant deduction… So far from the truth though…”

“So you don’t admit to it?”

“The only think I will admit to is that you’re boring, pathetic loser who bores me to death. Is this confession enough to you?” She smiled sweetly to him, seeing the vein at the side of his forehead started to pulse dangerously. _Ohh, so she did touch the sensitive string. _“Maybe you’re just jealous of me, huh? I was the one who came up with a better plan, I was the one sent to be the spy and I am the one that Hela trusts. Not you, not your stupid invasion plans. _Me!”_

“So you say that Hela trusts you, huh? And does she know that you were trained to be a Valkyrie?”

(Y/n) stopped in her tracks, heart beating like crazy in her chest, the one word he had spoken, echoing in her ears.  _Valkyrie… Valkyrie… Valkyrie… _ Swallowing hard she slowly turned around, eyes squinting, when she shot a warning look towards Svan.

“What did you say?” She asked slowly.

“Oh, you’ve heard me the first time…” His lips curled up into a smirk. “I know you’ve been meant to be Asgardian’s finest warrior. I know that if you’d finished your training, completed it, you’d be one of the best warrior of your times…”

“Well, but as you can see and apparently, as you _know, _I’ve never finished it and since we’ve established that I hate Asgard and people who took it away from me, we can skip that one single detail, don’t you think?” She was already turning when his voice stopped her once again.

“It happened because you fell in love, didn’t it? But you not only fell in love, you fell in love with a man, someone who was forbidden to you. Someone who was never meant to be yours, someone…”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Svan.” She snarled through her gritted teeth.

“Ohhh, but I think I do… Who was it, huh? The king? The prince? One of the royals?”

“Shut up!”

“Or maybe a simple commoner, a stable boy?”

“Shut up!”

“Maybe that’s why you did kill Alff, huh? You enjoy being an Asgardian royal whore once again?”

“I said – shut up!”

In a blink of an eye she was right in front of him, dagger in her hand, pressed into his neck, the first drop of blood appearing under the pressure of her knife against his skin.

“You know nothing about me, Svan. _Nothing!_ “ She hissed, enjoying the surprised and scared look in his eyes, when he was looking down at her, in that moment uncertain what she might do next. “You can live with illusion of knowing everything about me, about my life, but the truth is, you don’t know half of it…”

“Enlighten me then…”

“I don’t have to be loyal to you, do I?” She smirked, the tip of her knife digging into his skin even more and Svan hissed.

“You’ve already killed Alff, you won’t risk killing me…”

“You wanna bet!?”

“You don’t have the balls to kill someone with cold blood…”

“Truly? After everything you have done to me? Beating me up almost to death, leaving me on a forgotten planet to rot!?”

“We had to make it all seem realistic and Hela approved it.”

“Hela approved hurting me, but not almost killing me!”

“Now you’re overreacting…”

“Am I!?” Her left hand grabbed the endings of his hair and pulled down strongly, causing Svan to groan, when she exposed his neck even more, a blade leaving a thin cut across it, slowly starting to bleed.

“If I wanted to kill you, believe me, I would.” He rolled his eyes. “But unlike you, I am not killing my companions.”

“Thank the gods that I am in merciful mood tonight… And I won’t cut out this head of yours…” Her voice was deep and low, when she warningly moved the blade across his neck, leaving another shallow cut.

“Was that supposed to be a threat?” He snorted, but (Y/n) just pulled his hair stronger, a blade pressing to the middle of his cheek right now.

“I won’t kill you, not tonight, Svan. But I can make this pretty face of yours little less pretty…”

“I’d like to see you try…”

For a moment they were eyeing each other, until finally (Y/n) let go of him, taking a step back.  _It wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth it. _ After all that happened the last thing she needed was another suspicion of her not being entirely faithful. She promised she will have her revenge. And she will. In time.

Shooting Svan last one scornful look, she turned around ready to leave, when suddenly Svan grabbed her hand and pushed her, her back hitting the wall behind her and a silent shout of surprise escaping her lips.

“Let me go!” She demanded, raising her hand to slap him.

But this time he was quicker and prepared. He grabbed both of her wrists, holding them steadily, not giving her a single space to move, both of her hands in hard grip of his own.

“How do you think Alff knew where to find you, huh? Did you wonder who sent him to Asgard? We all know him, he’s not that bright to go by himself.” He laughed.

For a moment (Y/n) stopped trying to free herself from his grip and her eyes widened at the realization.

“You…” She whispered. “It was you!?”

“Yes! It was me! I sent Alff to do the job no one wanted to do!”

“You wanted to kill Thor!? But Hela…”

“Hela doesn’t see the big picture like I do. She has been closed up in a fucking nowhere for centuries. How much can she know about the world we live in now, huh?”

“That’s treason!”

Svan shrugged.

“Perhaps. But my plan was better than yours.” His eyes narrowed dangerously. “How sending a spy is supposed to make us stronger? Huh? It’s been weeks and you still don’t know anything useful. Not the amount of troops, nor the exact place of armory… My plan was simpler. Kill Thor, let anarchy take place and then Hela could storm there, victorious, taking over what was meant to be hers!”

“You’re delusional…”

“But I almost succeeded, didn’t I? If it wasn’t for you… Thor would be already dead and I would be on my way to victory.”

“Acting against your queen orders wouldn’t get you anywhere, just straight to death.” She winced when he increased grip on her hands. “Let. Me. Go. “ She repeated, gritting through her clenched teeth but Svan just laughed.

“Remember, (Y/n)… You don’t want to make an enemy out of me…” He murmured, leaning down, his breath brushing the skin on her cheeks. “Believe me, you’d rather have me as an ally…” His hand reached out to her, fingers caressing skin on her cheeks but she turned her face away, still trying to free from his grip. “I know I did hurt you, but let’s just forget about the past, huh? We could have a lot of perks from our cooperation, you know?” His voice got low, when his fingers started to move lower, tracing the outline of her neck. “Perhaps we could even…”

“(Y/n)?”

Svan immediately took a step back from her and (Y/n) freed her hands from his grip, the force of her gesture making him to take a step back.

“(Y/n), you okay?” Arnissa took a step closer, watching them both carefully.

“Yes.” (Y/n) smiled forcefully. “All is fine.”

“But of course! It was just a little chat!” Svan smiled, lying smoothly and it took all of (Y/n)’s willpower to resist jumping on him and piercing a knife right through his neck.

Arnissa looked from one to another, before finally giving (Y/n)’s a black blindfold.

“What’s that for?” She asked.

“Cover your eyes. I’m taking you back to Asgard.”


	9. HER PAST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name

“_Good! Really good! Keep that up ladies!” A strong female voice crossed the air, giving the warriors the apprise and motivation they all needed._

_(Y/n) smoothly blocked the blow of her opponent, the high strike being much too easy to block for her skills. But if there was one thing she had learned for all this time was that you should never, ever, underappreciate your opponent, no matter how much you would like to. The blades met with a cling and she turned around her opponent, in one swift motion coming at her from the other side, one strike of her sword being enough to harmlessly disarm the other woman, the blade falling from her hand and another kick under her knee making her fall to the ground with a shocked scream._

“_Yield.” (Y/n) put her blade to her neck and the dark eyes looked at her, admiration and disappointment, when she realized that she had lost._

“_I yield.” She admitted unwillingly, letting (Y/n) reach out to her, helping her on her feet._

“_Good fight.” She smiled to the dark-eyed woman and she raised her lips in a half smile._

“_You’re getting better. But I bet next time I will be the one to win.”_

“_You truly wanna bet and lose another money, Vigdis?” (Y/n) winked to her._

“_I’ll take that risk.” With a smile her friend left the arena, leaving (Y/n) alone, breathing heavily._

“_Bravo!” Another woman approached her and the girl raised her eyes to look at the figure of their commander. “I’m proud of you, (Y/n). If you’ll keep on practicing, you may even become one of the best in our troops.” Kára smiled proudly to her._

“_Thank you.” (Y/n) smiled warmly to her. “That would be the greatest hon…”_

“_She will never be one of us!” Another voice, angry, raised above the woman and all heads turned to look at the approaching Herja, her face twisted in rage and betrayal when she approached (Y/n) and put an accusatory finger into her direction. “This woman is not worthy to be called our sister!” She shouted and other Valkyries started to look at each other, an echo of murmurs spreading around._

“_What makes you say that, Herja?” Kára asked calmly, raising her brow questioningly._

“_She is seeing a man!” She shouted and (Y/n) felt all blood drained from her face when she heard gasps of her shocked sisters._

“_I…” She tried to protest, but feeling all of the eyes of her sisters on her, she felt something stuck in her throat, not letting her to say anything, nor truth, nor lie._

“_(Y/n)… Is it true?” Kára turned her head slowly, looking at the girl standing in front of them._

_And in that moment, (Y/n) knew there was no escape for her. She couldn’t lie to them, not anymore, but confessing the whole truth meant the end of her, it meant losing everything she has dreamt of, since she was a child… But was she truly capable of coming up with a lie that convincing? Was she capable of lying to them again, when she saw in their eyes that they all condemned her anyway?_

“_Yes…” She confessed finally, her voice weak and trembling and to her own embarrassment she could feel first tears gathering in her eyes._

“_Then it is settled.” Kára’s voice was emotionless, her once friendly face being just a mask, showing no emotions, when her eyes seemed to look through (Y/n). “You are not worthy to be called one of us… You’re not worthy to be called Valkyrie…”_

With a cry (Y/n) abruptly woke up, her back and forehead covered with sweat, heart pounding in her chest when she could hear the hum of blood pulsing in her ears. She needed a longer minute to realize that she is safe and sound, in her room in Asgard, that it all happened years ago, in a different life and it was just a bad dream…

She took a deep breath and slowly breathed the air out, counting to ten, with a relief feeling that the crazy beating of her heart started to slow down at last. She waited a few more minutes, still calming herself, putting a trembling hand to her chest, almost like she wanted to check if it was still beating there, with its normal rhythm.

_It was all Svan’s doing…_

If he would never told her anything, if he wouldn’t remind her that part of her life she tried so hard to forget, she wouldn’t let the memories to come back, she wouldn’t let herself dwell on the past again and most definitely she wouldn’t be awake right now, in the middle of the night, haunted by nightmares, showing her the pictures she wanted so hard to forget. She closed her eyes, exhaling slowly, running hands through her long hair, almost unconsciously grabbing a few strands and starting to braid them. She was sitting there for a moment, trying to calm her nerves down but the longer she was sitting there, the more awake she felt and soon she realized she won’t get any more sleep. At least not soon. Resigned she stood up from her bed and threw a cape over her sleeping dress, slowly leaving the room.

The whole palace was already asleep, corridor dark and silent, her steps being the only sound in this serene night. She slowly made her way through the palace, choosing well known corridors, not truly minding where she was going, but having to leave the castle, leave those walls, here and now, feeling like they were suffocating her. When she saw the door leading outside they felt almost like a blessing and she quickened, with a deep sigh of relief walking into the night.

She could feel the cold air of the night on her skin, slipping under the thin layer of her coat and gown, but frankly, she didn’t mind. She welcomed that coldness against her heated skin, still tormented with the fever of her nightmare. Taking a deep breath she let the fresh humid air to fill her lungs and after a longer moment she breathed it out slowly, her body finally starting to relax. She looked up, at the silver moon above her head and moved her eyes across the stars accompanying him, the constellation she once knew, now being completely strange, forgotten… But even that sight, always relaxing, always soothing, couldn’t ease her pain, couldn’t let her forget. (Y/n) wrapped the fabric of the coat around herself and sighed, the pictures still fresh in her mind, refusing to go away…

_Even after all those years it still hurt the same… _

The accusations of being a traitor, being unfaithful, when her only sin was falling in love… But for Valkyries it was already too much. The only thing their hearts were allowed to care for were Asgard and its king. And she? She was a naïve little girl thinking that she could have it all, she could still love Asgard and protect it, but at the same time give her heart to the man she cared for. But apparently it wasn’t enough… It was either everything or nothing at all. She tried to convince them, during the trial, that she was capable of sharing the love, that she wasn’t any less of Valkyrie by the choices of her heart. _But they demanded her loyalty. _ The needed her insurance, that if it ever come to choosing between Asgard and her man – she would always choose Asgard. _But she couldn’t… _ She couldn’t promise something that she would never fulfill, she couldn’t promise choosing Asgard if it meant losing _him. _And just because of this one stupid choice, her life was meant to change forever…

They called her a traitor, unfaithful and unworthy and banished her, making her leave and never come back. She was ripped off everything – her armor, her weapon, her dignity, her pride… They even took away her home and made her leave, just like that, not even allowing one single goodbye, one single letter…

For some time she even let herself hope that someone will come for her, that they will realize and understand that it was all just a misunderstanding and at least they let her stay. But when days passed and it didn’t happen, she started to think that maybe _he _ was looking for her, that maybe he was now searching through the universe, Heimdall’s eyes reaching further and further to find her and that soon he will come for her, take her into his arms and lead her back home. But days turned into weeks, weeks into months and soon she stopped having hope about anything. She finally realized that _no one _ was coming for her… She cried for days, curled up in the abandoned cottage she has found, eating only what she had gathered, just to make it, unable to show any greater motivation. She cried for days, until finally she realized that it was no point doing that either. Her sorrow turned into anger, pure rage and hatred, when she started to blame them, started to blame _him _ for everything that had happened to her. She committed no crime and yet she was treated like the worst criminal, banished from her home and left alone to hurt. _But not anymore. _She cut her hair, her long golden curls transformed into uneven haircut, barely reaching her arms, her clothes reminding her of home got ripped and the tattoo, oh the tattoo… Gritting her teeth she cut it out, not even caring if it will look good or bad, not caring if anyone would ever call it ugly. She never wanted to look at this tattoo again, wanted to get rid of everything that could remind her of home and people she had to leave. In that day she promised herself that she will never miss them, she promised herself she would never shed a single tear anymore, she promised herself that she will be strong and that she’ll do anything to survive, trying to enjoy the life that was given to her. In that day the old (Y/n) was gone and a new one was born…

The girl frowned, blinking several times when a cold shiver went down her spine, the pictures fading as soon as they appeared in first place. _It all seemed to happen a lifetime ago… _ She sighed and lifted her right arm, her gaze wandering over the pale scar on her forearm, the reminder of her actions, reminder of the promise she made for herself and reminder of the life she has lost. She moved her arm, like hypnotized looking at the long line in her rather perfectly smooth skin, the scar tissue even more visible in the silver moonlight than during the days. _Yet another reminder of who she was once… _ A naïve, young and stupid girl, thinking that she could have everything, that the happy ending she always craved for was within the reach of her hand… _Stupid, stupid girl… _

“Nightmare, huh?” She heard a voice behind her back and she turned around, startled.

For a moment her instincts kicked in, her first thought was to run away, the thought of someone catching her here making her heart quicken in her chest. But when she turned around and saw a familiar face, it didn’t unfortunately, made her feel any better. _Loki… _From all the people in this palace, in this city, he had to be awake exactly at the same moment as she was… She adjusted her coat, almost like she was trying to cover herself from him and she eyed him carefully.

“I couldn’t sleep…” She said, avoiding to answer his question directly. “I thought a walk could help.”

Loki just smiled, approaching her and (Y/n) couldn’t resist and moved her gaze over his silhouette, suddenly feeling even more nervous than moments before. What he was wearing was probably kind of Asgardian’s sleeping gown, a loose shirt with a V-neckline, _deep _neckline and rolled up sleeves, showing his pale skin, now seeming even more white in the cold light of the moon. She looked back at his face and when she realized he was eyeing her carefully, she prayed she didn’t blush, as it would be the biggest embarrassment she could stand.

“I have them too, you know? Nightmares.” He explained when she looked at him, not truly understanding. “They haunt me, waking me up in the middle of the night, making it unable to go back to sleep…” He sighed, crossing arms on his chest. “I always come here then, look at the stars, at the trees, in awe of this magical silence of this city, deep asleep.” Corners of his lips raised in a smile.

“It does look magical here” she admitted, smiling herself.

For a moment they were just standing next to each other, in silence, until finally Loki broke it again.

“What do you see in them? Faces of people you’ve killed? Your family you have lost? People trying to kill you?” He asked and (Y/n) gulped, realizing that he was still asking about the dreams.

“Who said I do have nightmares too, huh?” She tried to play it cool, but her whole body betrayed her and one look of his eyes made her realize that she won’t trick him so easily. “The day I’ve lost everything I’ve ever cared for…” She finally answered, almost whispering, her gaze locked on an invisible point somewhere far away in front of them. “I see people who made me leave, I see people who betrayed me, I see people and friends who…” She hang her voice. “Who never came looking for me…” She scoffed, shaking her head. “I haven’t got them in a while, so I kinda forgot what that feels like…” She shrugged. “Having everything all…”

“Vivid and real? Almost like it was happening yet again?” Loki finished instead and (Y/n) shot him a surprised glance.

“Yeah…” She admitted and Loki smiled weakly.

“I know the feeling… I know it too well… Frankly I can’t remember the last time I slept for the whole night without any interruptions…”

He took a step closer, approaching her and he was already opening his mouth to say something else but seemed to resign in the last moment and he just smiled, looking straight ahead, almost like he tried to look at the same point she was actually looking at. For a moment silence fell between them, until finally (Y/n) bit her lower lip and her curiosity won over her common sense.

“What are yours about?” She asked, momentarily regretting asking this question when he shot her a surprised look, something strange in his eyes, something… _dark._ “You don’t have to tell me, I just…” She cleared her throat, frowning, cursing at herself in her head.

_Stupid, stupid her, why out of nowhere she suddenly started to care again? Make an idiot of herself and a huge embarrassment?_

But on the other hand… If he could pry into her life, if he could ask her questions about her nightmares, even though they probably would mean _nothing _to him, why couldn’t she be equally curious?

“Everything I have done and I regret…” He answered suddenly and (Y/n) looked at him, surprised, not thinking that he will reply. “All of my regrets are packed into this one nightmare, coming back again and again and again…” He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly before his pained grimace turned into his usual smirk again, when he tried to pretend that nothing too bad happened.

_But (Y/n) knew better._

No matter how much he had tried to hide it, bury deep inside him, in his eyes she found the same reflection of regrets of the things he had done, the ones she had to live with as well. She blinked, swallowing hard, suddenly realizing that for all those years she tried to convince herself to hate him, she even managed to learn how to do so, but not even once did she took a moment to think how was his life after she had left. (Y/n) just assumed that he was fine and happy, living the life of the prince he always cherished so much. But… How must he have felt being always in Thor’s shadow? How hard must have been to be always the second one, always treated like the worst? What must have happened to him, that made him want to revenge that badly, making him attack Midgard, seeking destruction and power so desperately? How must he have felt being back here, in Asgard, always treated like a traitor, people afraid of him or despising him? For past years she was constantly feeding herself with hatred and only now she realized that he was just as broken as she was, experienced by life too harshly and too early and who was she to judge his behavior, his actions, when she did so many mistakes in her life too…

Swallowing hard she stepped closer to him and after a moment of hesitation she laid her hand on his arm, realizing that he flinched under her touch, almost like in some way this gentle touch was scaring him. And it only made her heart ache, realizing that she knew nothing of a men he became, that she knew nothing of the years he spent without her, that she knew nothing of the baggage he was carrying…

He looked at her surprised, brows raising in a disbelief, him not being accustomed to such closeness anymore and something soft crossed his face, almost a gratitude for her just being here, in some way understanding him, not judging, not prying into his feelings and intimacy any further.

She was probably the first person he had ever talked to about his nightmares. And he was equally surprised by that fact as she was. He always had to keep his head high, pretend no one and nothing could get under his skin and with smirks and sarcasm hide how hurt he truly was inside. No one seemed to know him anymore, not the _ real _ him, no matter how hard he tried, people only saw a traitor, snake, someone who couldn't be trusted and apparently, someone who didn't have feelings at all... Not that he could blame them, it was all his doing and in a way, he brought this fate on himself. But her? He couldn't really put a finger on _ what _was different about her, but in a strange way, he felt like he could be more himself in her presence, than with anyone else...

(Y/n) raised her lips in a soft smile, noticing his gaze, but then she suddenly felt herself freezing as one disturbing thought creeped into her mind, reminding her all the pain she had to go through _because of him_.

He didn’t ever try to find her, didn’t try to know what happened to her once she magically disappeared and once she came back here, part of her was afraid of being recognize, but that other part was disappointed and angry that after everything they once shared, he didn’t even _consider _ knowing her from somewhere. She knew it’s been a long time but _hell_ , she didn’t change _that _much…

She abruptly took the hand back, that anger she couldn’t stop boiling in her veins once again and only last remnants of her common sense helped her to greet her teeth and don’t say a single word, though she wanted to so badly…

“So…” She cleared her throat after a longer moment. “I think I’ll go back to my room and try to get some sleep.” She shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

Loki merely nodded and (Y/n) started to walk back towards her room when she heard him calling her name, well, her false name and she stopped to turn around at him.

“Thank you.” He said and before she could answer him, he already turned away, slowly walking away.

For a moment (Y/n) had that deep urge to open her mouth, say something, just so she could stop him, even if just for another second, another minute, another moment… She shook her head, annoyed by her thoughts and crossing arms on her chest and finally walking back towards her room, unaware of the pair of green eyes watching her carefully, until she finally disappeared behind the door, leaving him all alone again.


	10. THE IMPRISONMENT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name

„_What’s this?”_

_Thor slowly raised his head and looked at (Y/n), whose face was this almost funny mixture of utter shock but at the same time unpleasant surprise and fury. He slowly moved his gaze from her angry face to her extended hand and when he noticed what she was asking about, his brow raised and corners of his lips twitched, resisting to curl up in a smile._

“_A dress.” He answered simply._

“_I know it’s a dress… But why the hell was it in my room?”_

“_Because it’s for you.”_

“_For me?” Her anger suddenly left, leaving just a pure surprise. “But why?”_

_"We're having a feast tonight and you're invited. And since I am pretty sure you don't have any fancy clothes with you, I ordered to make a dress fit for you." _

_"I don't want it." (Y/n) proudly raised her head, extending her hand once again. "I don't want this, this… handout." She spat finally, causing Thor to sigh heavily. _

“_Look…” He started, suddenly standing up from his throne and coming closer to her. “We already stopped treating you like an enemy but maybe now you should do the same thing? It’s not a handout, it’s not the bribery. It’s just a dress which I want you to wear tonight. You’re now a savior of a king, you have to show up.”_

“_I don’t have to do anything.” (Y/n) snorted, rolling her eyes._

“_But people want to see you. They want to see the savior and the girl who risked her own life to save their king.”_

“_There’s nothing to see…”_

_"Well, they think differently…" He sighed when he looked at the stubborn look on her face. "Look… I can't make you to go… But everyone wants you there. Including me." _

“_But I don’t belong there…”_

(Y/n) kept on playing that conversation on the loop in her head, over and over again and the doubts she was having back then, were still there, in her head…  _She didn’t belong here… _ It was her only thought when servants visited her and they dressed her up in the fanciest Asgardian gowns she could ever imagine.  _She didn’t belong here… _ This thought stayed when they sat her down, even against all of her protest and took care of her hair, combing, brushing, curling and pinning with tons of clips, trying to make the mess on her hair more appropriate for the occasion.  _She didn’t belong here… _ The thought was still orbiting in her mind, when she was standing in front of the entrance to the main ballroom, nervously playing with her fingers, only watching all of the guests coming and going, coming and going, but unable to make herself go in.  _She wasn’t the hero everyone thought she was… _ She was a spy, a traitor, a girl trying to live in the world of constant betrayals and lies, just trying to survive… So how could she dress up, go in there, smile with her head held high and pretend she was the person she truly wasn’t?

“Why are you hiding?” She heard a voice behind her back and turned around abruptly, heart quickening in her chest, startled by sudden company.

“I am not hiding.” (Y/n) protested, raising her eyebrow at the sight of smiling Thor who approached her, all dressed up, with some fancy cape thrown across his arms.

“Really? So standing behind one of the columns instead of joining the feast is _not _hiding?”

"I'm just… Looking around." She lied, pretending to be invested in smoothening the fabric of her skirt.

“Mhmm…” Thor murmured, clearly not convinced and approached her even closer. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, I just…” She shook her head and sighed. “I told you before, I don’t belong here… I can’t remember when was the last time I was on a party like this and I… I don’t remember how it is… How to behave, who to talk to, about what…” She sighed again, looking down. “Plus I am dressed up like a lady…”

“That is actually a good thing. You are a lady so you should dress like one.”

"I'm not a lady… Haven't been in a long time…"

They were standing like this in silence before Thor sighed again and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I just want you to feel good, okay? You’ve been through some hard times lately and well, we didn’t treat you properly at the beginning, so you look like a person who could use a little…”

“Fun? Relax? Break?” (Y/n) ended instead and Thor smiled, nodding.

"Yeah, something like that." His eyes met hers and he smiled, even more, the weight of his hand strangely comforting, reminding her how it was to have someone she could rely on, someone she could trust, someone always being there for her… He reminded her… How it is to have a friend... She took a deep breath and smoothed the sleeves of her dress once again, before nodding, determination in her eyes.

“Okay then. Let’s do this.”

“That’s my girl.” He offered her his arm and (Y/n) slipped her hand under it, smiling to him when they both entered the main hall.

Frankly, she expected that as soon as they will enter, all eyes will be on them, judging, calculating, watching. But to her pleasant surprise, no one even bat an eye, just a few closer people took a look at the entering couple and almost immediately went back to minding their businesses. (Y/n) let out air stored in her lungs, not even realizing she was holding it and visibly relaxed, allowing Thor to lead her through the hall. 

“Is it like you remembered?” He whispered, leaning down towards her.

(Y/n) looked around, her eyes moving slowly across the crowd, taking it all and she smiled to herself at the sight in front of her. Long tables, dozens of chairs and hundreds of plates and dishes covering almost every inch of the hall reminded her of old times, when she was among all of the happy people, laughing, celebrating, carefree and not worrying about anything or anyone. Her gaze moved further, taking in all of the elegant ladies, dressed up men, colorful fabrics and shiny armors blending with the golden goblets, full of wine, faces of a happy people looking almost magical in the dim light, coming from the candles.  _They all looked so happy… _ Couldn't she have it all again? Even if just for this one night? 

“It’s even better.” (Y/n) admitted, soft smiling appearing on her lips and Thor grasped her hand in his palms, squeezing it gently.

“I have to make a few rounds, talk to people. But you should have fun.”

“Thank you.” She smiled to him, nodding with gratitude and Thor nodded, disappearing in the crowd of people.

Suddenly feeling abandoned and alone, (Y/n) took a deep breath and looked around, trying to look for any familiar face in the crowd, someone she could talk to. Her eyes moved over the people gathered around until finally, she saw the familiar pair of blue eyes and a mess of blonde hair, when Fandral met her eyes and almost immediately a smile appeared on his face.

“(Y/f/n)! Come!” He waved his hand and girl lifted corners of her lips and approached the table where he was sitting with the rest of warriors.

“I see Thor somehow convinced you to come.” Sif smiled to her.

"Yeah, you know how it is, the girl cannot resist the good booze they serve here." She sighed theatrically and Volstagg pounded his hand against the table, laughing.

“I like you! Did I say I like her?”

“Yeah, yeah, several times already.” Fandral rolled his eyes and turned his attention to (Y/n) again. “Look, we need your help.”

“With?” She raised her eyebrow, taking a sip of a wine.

“There’s this debate and a problem we cannot solve.”

“And what will I get for helping you?” She raised her eyebrow even more and Volstagg laughed once again.

“Ohhh, you won’t charm her that easily, Fandral.”

“My eternal gratitude?” Fandral smiled to her, one of his famous smirks that always worked on other girls, making them do anything for him. But not (Y/n).

“Add a goblet of wine and we have a deal.”

"Fine… So anyway… Sif and I were wondering if we'd ever had to fight together – who would win?"

“Pff, simple, lady Sif.” (Y/n) shrugged, taking another sip of wine, with a smirk looking at Fandral, whose smile disappeared from his face, leaving him dumbfounded.

“Ha! Told ya!” Sif grinned. “Thank you, (Y/f/n)!”

“But of course!” The girls clinked their goblets.

“But… But…”

"You wanted an honest opinion and she gave you one." Hogun said, looking at Volstagg. "Now you – pay!"

“You took a bet!?” If it’s possible Fandral’s eyes became even bigger.”

“But of course! You thought we were doing this for fun?”

“But… But (Y/f/n), listen… I am more muscular, have much more combat training… More strength… How could Sif be better?”

“Well, she’s more dedicated and she could easily take advantage of your vanity, which would give her the upper hand. And well, she would beat you.”

“But…”

“No buts! She decided!”

“But…”

(Y/n) laughed with the rest of them, sipping her wine and letting the booze slowly get into her head. This evening wasn't that bad after all? She had fun, talking, laughing, having fun, for a moment allowing herself to stop pretending, to enjoy being here, not thinking about her mission, not anymore.  _She was back home. _ In the city she once loved, among the people who cared for her and people she cared for, once again being a part of something. But as night went on, more and more wine circulating in her blood, the more gloom and dark were her thoughts, once again reminding her of her real purpose of being here. She was a spy, Asgardian traitor, a person who was meant to bring doom and destruction on this city… Not sit here, drink wine and think how good it was to be among  _her _ people again… She looked down at her hands, starting to tremble and she grasped her goblet even harder, suddenly feeling that uncomfortable tightness in her throat.  _Gosh, she knew it was all booze, but she couldn’t feel like crying, could she? _ Excusing herself from the table she made her way through the crowd, suddenly feeling surrounded, wanting nothing more but space and a moment for herself. Almost breathless she left the hall and opened the door to the nearest balcony, almost immediately wrapped in the cool, night air, meeting with her heated skin. (Y/n) took a few deep breaths, cold air filling her lungs and clearing her mind, even if just a little bit.  _Why did she allow herself to get attached? _ It was meant to be a simple mission, come, spy, report, attack, have your revenge. For all those years spent in solitude she learned to hate them, to hate that city… She was perfect for that job, hell, she even came up with it in the first place.  _So when did it become so hard? _ She leaned her hand over the railing and took a deep breath again, her eyes moving across the city lights in front of her.  _Oh, it was so beautiful… _ For a moment she just let her eyes wander around, letting herself for a moment forget about her mission, about her worries, about anything… She was just standing there, in awe, a small smile appearing on her lips, slowly finding peace again.

“You clean up nicely.”

(Y/n) twitched at the sound of a voice right behind her back and she turned around slowly, already being perfectly aware of the person standing there. She would recognize this voice everywhere…

"Wow, you surely know how to compliment a girl." She snorted, rolling her eyes. "Should I thank you now? Blush furiously, fluttering my eyelashes, thinking it makes me look flirty?" Her voice was thick with sarcasm but to her surprise Loki just snorted, amused, taking a step closer towards her.

“Most girls would do.” He said.

"I'm not like most girls…" She murmured.

“No.” He admitted. “You’re not…”

(Y/n) raised her eyebrow at his comment but decided to say nothing and instead she turned around, showing him her back once again.

For a long moment, she was almost sure he left her, that her tries of ignoring him were successful and she could spend the rest of the evening hiding on this balcony, away from the crowd. But after a few long moments, she heard silent steps approaching her and she sighed heavily, knowing that she won't get rid of him so easily.

“Why are you here?”

“Thor invited me…” She sighed again. “Invited me to this stupid, _stupid_, party and…”

“I meant this balcony. But then I guess you already answered my question…”

“It’s not my kind of thing.”

“But you’re a hero.”

“I am not a hero.”

“You saved our king. In the eyes of our people – you are one.”

"And I tell you – I am not a hero." Her gaze was hard when she looked into his eyes. "It was just a one, lucky coincidence. I was in a proper moment, in a proper place…"

“But you didn’t have to do anything. You could just stand there and wait for him to attack. But you didn’t.”

“I… I guess my instincts just turned on…” She shrugged once again. “Can we drop the subject now and stop this interrogation? I saved him, end of the story.”

“Fair enough.”

He was standing next to her in silence, both of them lost in their thoughts, until (Y/n) sighed heavily, catching Loki's attention.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just… This view, the party… It all reminds me of the old times…”

“Old times?”

“Yeah, you know, when I was living here, long, _long _time ago… Better times…” She smiled weakly. “When everything wasn’t that complicated…”

“So what happened?”

“Life happened.” (Y/n) cleared her throat.

Loki didn't answer at first, his look following hers, moving across the view in front of them, for a moment lost in his thoughts.

“It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“What do you mean?”

“It can be like the old times again, you know? I mean, it will never be the same, but… We can at least try to make everything right again…”

“And feed ourselves with the illusions of a life we once had? It’s not the same as truly having it.”

“I know. But it’s always something… At least it helps you cope with every day and gives you the reason to move on… Always hoping that maybe one day you wouldn’t have to pretend and it finally will be as it once was…”

"Maybe… Maybe not… Sometimes we do unforgettable things… Things that change us too much to let us go back to what we once were."

“So don’t.” Loki said and (Y/n) looked at him, surprised. “Don’t be the person you have been. Become a new one, a new _you._”

“That’s what you have done? Became a new person?”

“I had no choice. I couldn’t go back to who I was. I had to grow and accept the fact who I am before.”

“And who are you now?” She asked, a surprisingly soft note in her voice.

“I am Loki. Son of Odin, God of Mischief and Trickster. Brother of Thor and son of Freya.” His eyes moved to her and looked right into them. “I wanted to forget about my family once, I wanted to pretend that I don’t care, that I don’t need them. _But I do. _So I am not ashamed anymore, not afraid of admitting.” He straightened his back, raising his head higher, almost proudly. “And I meant what I said before…”

“What you said? Which is…?”

“You do look pretty tonight.”

His sudden compliment, a  _real _ one, made her raise her head and look at him with surprise. And seeing his soft gaze, the way his eyes were moving across her face and her body and just his presence were making her…  _Feeling strange. _ (Y/n) swallowed hard, averting her eyes, to her embarrassment feeling that her cheeks are slowly starting to get red. 

“Interesting… I thought you’re not like the other girls and don’t blush?” He teased her.

“Oh, shut up!” (Y/n) snarled.

“Whatever the lady orders.” He bowed before her, theatrically and (Y/n) rolled her eyes, but raising corners of her lips in a smile.

“And what are you doing here anyway? Parties are not your thing?”

“Well, not anymore…” He shrugged, looking somewhere far away in the distance.

“So what happened?”

“Life happened.” He answered with a smirk, repeating her own words and (Y/n) rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, my words, I know…” She shook her head.

"But that's the truth. I… did some unforgettable things and… Let's just say I am not that welcomed in Asgard as I once was."

“They don’t trust you?”

"Thor does. He's the only one who saw who I am and he accepted it, forgiving everything I have done."

“He tends to do that, huh?” (Y/n) smiled, just at the thought.

"Yeah… Yes, he does. He just sees all the good in people, you know? But I trust his judgment, he's never been wrong about a person before…" He shot her a meaningful look and (Y/n) swallowed hard, suddenly not sure about the direction this conversation was going into.

“What are you telling me this?”

"I guess… What I'm trying to say is… If my brother trusts you… Then I do, too." He looked right into her eyes and for the first time in forever she saw the sincerity in them, this strange kind of vulnerability he almost never let himself for. And it all made her feel sick.

She could practically feel her heart sinking to her stomach and disgust to herself. What the hell was she doing? What happened in her life that pushed her to betray people she once cared so much for? What happened to her old self, always promising to be true to herself…

She gulped hard, suddenly feeling the weight of all of her life choices coming and falling onto her shoulders, crushing them.

“I… Thanks… That means a lot coming from you…” She shrugged, quickly trying to bring her usual carefree demeanor back.

"But I mean it, (Y/f/n). Look, I know we didn't have a good start, but… We can always start again?" He reached out to her, his hand hanging in the air in front of her eyes and all she could feel was that lump in her throat, making her unable to breathe or speak.

Was she really made for this? Or did hatred, fed by Hela, just blinded her and only now she was beginning to see again? But she knew one thing. She couldn’t betray them, not now, not anymore…

"Loki, there's something you need to know…" She started but before she could say another word, the walls of the palace trembled and moments after they could hear panicked cries coming from the main hall. They both looked at each other, eyes widening when one look was enough to let them know they were both thinking the same thing.

“What the hell was that?”

“I have no idea.” (Y/n) shook her head and turned around to look back.

They could already see first people frantically running across the palace halls, in panic, but yet running away from something, or someone.

“What the hell is happening?” Loki asked to himself, materializing daggers in his hands and leaving the balcony, (Y/n) following his every step.

"Loki! (Y/f/n)!" Thor's voice cut through the panic screams of Asgardian people and they ran to him, his eyebrows creased in worry.

“What is happening, brother?”

“We’re under attack!”

“And who the hell is that stupid to attack us this time?”

"I don't know." Thor shook his head. "It's the first time I've seen these people. But apparently, they're led by this dark-haired witch, destroying everything standing in her way…"

(Y/n) could feel her heart stop at the mention of Hela, blood suddenly freezing in her veins and her body freezing, unable to move, almost like she was turned into a stone figure.

_No… It was impossible…_

They had a plan,  _she _ had a plan. Hela promised to wait until she would let her know they're set, until she would send a message they can attack… What was she doing here now? Leading all of her troops and how did she get here in first place? 

“(Y/f/n), run!” Thor ordered, his hand already raising, palm opened, waiting for Mjolnir to appear in his hand.

“No, you both don’t understand, I…”

“(Y/f/n), there’s no time!” The look Thor shot her made her take a step back, but even against herself, (Y/n) approached him once again.

“We all need to run!”

“I can’t run like a coward when my people need me!”

“Ohhh, look at you, brother, always so noble…” Loki rolled his eyes.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, brother. I won’t make you.” Thor’s fingers clenched around Mjolnir and with a fury in his eyes he looked at both of them. “(Y/f/n)! I told you to leave!”

“No!”

“Stubborn girl! I don’t want you to get hurt because of your stubbornness!”

“If you could just listen to me…”

“There’s no time! We are under attack!”

“But…”

“Decide! You’re either fighting with us or you run and hide!”

“But I am…”

Her words were interrupted by a loud bang and the wall they’ve all been standing next to shattered into thousands of stone pieces, covering them all in rubble. (Y/n) covered head with her arms and dropped to the floor, cursing under her breath, feeling parts of walls hitting her exposed skin, leaving a dozen of bruises there. For a moment she felt like the whole world was collapsing onto her, but soon the rain of rocks stopped and she dared to open her eyes, squinting, trying to see anything through the thick dust rising from the floor. It filled her nose and throat and she started to cough, trying to get rid of particles, stuck in her lungs now.

“(Y/f/n), are you okay?” She heard Thor’s voice somewhere on her left, interrupted by his cough and she nodded, forgetting that he can’t see her.

“Yeah.” She admitted finally, her voice hoarse and she coughed again, licking her lips and looked around, trying to see anything in the white dust.

“Loki?” Thor shouted. “Loki!?”

“No need to shout, I am here.”

“What the hell was that!?”

"That… was just the beginning…" Another voice said a female one and they all raised to their feet, turning around to look at the person approaching them. A tall, slim figure, dressed in black, her long dark hair falling freely onto her arms, a satisfactory smile on her face, when her eyes moved through one brother to another. "I don't think we've been officially introduced…"

"And who the hell are you?" Thor's voice broke the silence and Hela's gaze moved to him, her lips lifting in a half-smile.

“Oh, you don’t recognize your family blood, _brother?” _She paused for a moment, almost like wanting to add more drama to her words._ “_I’m your _sister_.”

"Hela?" When he spoke her name she just smiled further, waving her hand through air, in a mockery of a courtly bow.

“In flesh and blood.”

“But that’s impossible! Our father locked you away centuries ago!”

“Well… Let’s just say that the death of an old man weakened the trap he had put me into. And I could finally get free and come back to Asgard to claim what was always meant to be mine!” Her cool voice turned into a hateful hiss, before she finally regained her composure and moved a hands through her hair, lips turning into a smirk. “Now… _Kneel._”

“Over my dead body.” Thor snarled and Hela rolled her eyes.

“So you’re the stubborn one, huh?” She sighed, now looking into Loki’s eyes. “You seem like a reasonable man though…”

“Perhaps we could come to an arrangement…” Loki started hesitantly, but that just made Hela smile.

"So you are the brains I guess… The other is the muscles." Her eyes moved to Thor again, lips lifting in a grin, when Thor lifted his hammer, ready for a blow. “You really want to do it the hard way, huh?” She sighed.

“Hide behind me.” Thor reached out to Eira, his muscular arm stopping her in her tracks, almost like he wanted to protect her.

At the mention of her name, Hela moved her gaze and looked right at the girl, her lips lifting in a smile, almost like she was looking at her for the first time.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about your little friend… Right,_ (Y/f/n)_?”

(Y/n) could feel blood freeze in her veins when she could tell the exact moment when both of the brothers froze at the sound of her false name coming from Hela's mouth.

"How do you know her name?" Thor asked, his voice even lower than usual.

“Ohhh, I don’t only know her name… I know _her._” Hela’s lips lifted in an almost warm smile when she reached out to (Y/f/n), almost like a mother wanting her child to come closer. “She’s been working for me for years.”

(Y/n) could only stand there, without a single movement, almost like her body was not responding to any kind of signals, when with her eyes wide opened she could just stare at the faces of both brothers, turning to look at her.  _Ohhh, she could read every single emotion written on their faces… _ Betrayal… Utter shock… Anger… Hurt… 

“(Y/f/n)…” She heard Thor’s voice, almost like it was coming from far, far away. “(Y/f/n), is that true?”

She didn’t answer… Because how could she? After everything that happened, after everything they have done to her… How could she openly admit to being a spy? But the guilt was written all over her face and she averted her eyes, unable to look into Thor’s eyes, ashamed.

"Now… If we established that your precious little girl is my spy… I need your weapons down. Now!" A flash of green eyes was meant to scare them but Thor just laughed.

“I am not going down without a fight!”

"Oh, why this dramatic flare?" Hela rolled her eyes. "But let's be it. Be the hero…" She sighed, almost bored with the whole situation.

Thor shot Loki a look and his brother nodded, just barely. And then (Y/n) heard the metallic sound and Mjolnir crossed the air in front of her, thrown right into Hela’s direction. The girl held her breath, looking at everything happening in front of her eyes, strangely slowed down. The Thor fury on his face, his muscles flexing when he threw his hammer, Mjolnir crossing the air with its characteristic sound, moving into Hela’s direction and her, with a bored grin on her face, when she simply raised her hand and stopped it in his tracks.

“No… That’s impossible…” Thor almost gasped, his eyes widening at the sight.

“Oh, brother… There are things you haven’t dreamt of…” Hela smirked and clenched her fingers around the hammer, putting all of her strength in this one single movement.

For a moment it felt like the time has stopped, all pair of eyes locked on Mjolnir, which was vibrating in the air, almost like he was a living creature, trying desperately to free itself from the Hela's grip. But it was all in vain, her hand clenching harder and harder until with a terror in their eyes they started to see the first cracks in its surface, a bright light emanating from it. And then Mjolnir crashed, its shattered pieces falling to the ground, an almost inhuman cry escaping Thor's mouth.

“That’s impossible…” Loki whispered, with a terror looking at his brother, falling to his knees in front of his hammer, almost like he wouldn’t believe what had just happened.

"Like I told you – there are things beyond your imagination," Hela smirked. "Guards!" At her command, assassin's appeared by her side. "Grab them and take them to the dungeon!"

“Yes, my queen!”

“Let me go!” Loki hissed, trying to free himself from guard’s grip. “Thor! Brother! Do something!”

But it seemed like Thor simply gave up, his shoulders slumped down, eyes still locked on the ground, on the remnants of his weapon and almost willingly he allowed guards to stood him up.

“Brother!” Loki tried again, but with no luck again, his hands being put into handcuffs. “Brother!”

“What’s the point, Loki… We have lost…” Thor said, raising his eyes to look at his brother. "We have lost…" He repeated, his eyes moving until they have found (Y/n)'s eyes. 

The girl took a step back under his gaze, more startled by the fact that she didn’t see the hatred she was supposed to see in them.  _No. _ Instead, she saw pity, almost like Thor felt sorry for herself, not even blaming her. 

"Let's go!" Guards pushed the brothers and they moved, (Y/n)'s eyes locked on them when she could think only about the look Thor gave her, the look which made her stomach twist anxiously once again.

_What the hell has she done?_


	11. MEETING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your Name

“Something’s on your mind?”

(Y/n) needed a long moment to realize that the question was for her. She blinked, forcing herself to focus on here and now and she raised her head to look at Hela. Their queen was sitting in front of her, eyebrows raised in a sign of disapproval and curiosity, when she was waiting for (Y/n) to answer. The girl gulped, suddenly being extremely aware of all pair of eyes locked on her and she finally cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry. I was… Still thinking about your plan regarding our troops.”

“So you’re a little delayed since we finished that subject a few minutes ago.” Svan snorted, shooting her a gaze full of hatred.

(Y/n) simply ignored him, yet feeling heart in her chest quickening, when she realized where her thoughts have taken her.  _She was there again. _ Standing in front of the brothers, Hela by her side, when she could only look at their faces, so full of betrayal, full of disapproval, when the realization of her being just a spy hit them. Ohh, how much she would like to have something to tell them, something to say on her behalf, something that would explain or mitigate her behavior, even if just a little bit. But she knew that nothing she'd like to say would be enough to make them forgive her.  _But why did she even care? _ That's what she wanted… To see Asgard in flames, punished for their crimes, punished for everything they have done to her. Ohh, how many times she had dreamt about this moment, her being on a victory side, capable of looking into her enemies' eyes, so she could see their realization that they have lost… And to see the people who have hurt her in a first place, now begging for her mercy… That's what she always wanted.  _Right?_

She cleared her throat, still ignoring Svan and the looks he was giving her and lifting lips in a polite smile, she turned her attention to Hela.

“Forgive me, I ensure you, this won’t happen ever again.”

“Good. So now tell me, what do you think we should do with the traitors, huh? Hang them? Execute? Throw into dungeons and let them rot there?

"I… I think since they're your enemies, you should be the one to decide what to do with them," (Y/n) answered, hoping that her miserable try to avoid answering this question will be enough.  _But unfortunately not…_

“Ohh, I know exactly what I want to do with them.” Hela laughed. “I am just curious about your thoughts on the subject, huh?”

(Y/n) hesitated, feeling not only the pressure of Hela’s questions but all eyes of the other assassins locked right on her, clearly waiting to see if she will pass this test. Because ohhh, this was a test… Yet another one, when Hela wanted to check her loyalty, wanted to make sure that they were still having the same goals, even after everything that had happened…

But what choices did she have? She could tell to spare them, let them rot in the dungeons forever. But what if it will be suspicious? Sparing their lives like that? Torture them? Just the mere thought of any of them being tortured by Hela was too much to handle, let alone speaking those words out loud. So what were the other options she did have here?

“Well…” She started finally, clearing her throat. “It’s simple, let’s kill them.” Her crystal clear voice echoed across the room and (Y/n) got startled by how convincing and certain she had sounded.

_Was it truly so easy to said that? Was it so easy to condemn someone to death, even if deep down in her heart she didn’t want that? _

“Interesting…” Hela cocked her head a little bit, carefully watching her servant. “I most definitely will take that into consideration…”

"And I still think we should torture them and get all the information we can," Svan said and some murmurs started to spread through the crowd. "We know their weaknesses, what the fear, what they hope for. We can use it against them, get into their heads, mess with them, make them…"

“No one asked for your opinion, Svan.” (Y/n) interrupted, her voice cold and emotionless.

“Excuse me?”

“I said that no one asked for your opinion. We don’t care.”

"Ouch, why so touchy, my sweet (Y/n), huh? Maybe you want to spare their lives, huh?"

“I just suggested we kill them, if you didn’t hear?”

“Yeah, I did hear you… But why not have some fun before? Mess around with them, make them suffer and…”

“Because it’s wrong?”

“Wrong?” Svan burst out laughing. “And what they’ve been doing for all those years wasn’t wrong?”

“They’ve never intentionally hurt anyone! They’re not heartless sadists like you are! Torturing people just for fun? Yes, they had to fight and yes, the blood had to be spilled. But tortures?”

“I thought you are with us…” Svan’s eyes squinted dangerously.

“I am. And I will be. But that doesn’t mean I have to agree on everything you propose. We are conquerors, but we are not beasts!”

"(Y/n)?" Hela's voice brought all of the attention back to her and the girl looked at her queen who was already standing, her green eyes almost piercing through her.

“Yes, my queen?”

“Come. I want to show you something…”

(Y/n) unsurely looked around, almost like looking for any kind of support or help in the eyes of her companions. But everyone averted their eyes and girl swallowed hard, standing up from her seat and on her trembling legs she turned around to follow Hela, out of the room.

"It seems… That your determination has weakened? Why do you want to save them from tortures?"

“Mercy is not a weakness. It’s the sign that we are different from ordinary thugs and thieves. We are conquerors and should behave like ones.”

“Like Asgardians once?”

“Yes. Just like them.”

“Interesting…” Hela repeated mysteriously, turning into corridor and opening door to the throne room, gesturing to (Y/n) to come inside as well. “I know that you mean well, (Y/n), I know that you want the same things as I do, but… You’re wrong.”

“Wrong? About what?”

"About Asgardians. You think they got their wealth by being merciful? By sparing their enemies? Do you think having a heart is a way to conquer it all? How do you think Asgard got all of his gold and wealth? By asking politely?" She laughed, shaking her head. "No…" Her eyes squinted dangerously. "They stole, they robbed, getting rid of everything and everyone that stood in their way. No one cared about mercy, about what was right. The appetite for power was too great, too… tempting." She shook her head, suddenly stopping in the middle of the hall.

She turned around to look at (Y/n) and seeing her hesitance Hela smiled, before her smile turned into a strange smirk and she bent her finger, gesturing to (Y/n) to come closer.

“Tell me… What do you see here?”

(Y/n) raised her head and looked at the ceiling above her, not for the first time looking at the series of paintings, showing Odin, his sons and the whole Asgard. Oh, how many times she's been looking at this painting, in awe, with admiration…

“I see Odin on the throne, Loki and Thor on both of his sides… People are partying, smiling and Asgard is blossoming, with prosperity, happiness…” She started to point out but was interrupted by angry snarl right behind her back.

"Exactly!" Hela hissed, with pure hatred looking at the pictures. "Feasts! Laughs! Dances! Those… Peace offerings!" She spat the last two words almost like poison. "That's Asgard how they want you to see it, how Odin wanted everyone to see it, but…" She smiled once again, slowly starting to pace around (Y/n). "Did they ever tell you how exactly did they achieve this peace? Did they confess how many had to die, so the others could live? Did they admit to all their crimes, thefts and murders?" She stood right behind (Y/n)'s back, placing hands on her shoulders. "Did they, my sweet (Y/n)?”

“No…” She admitted, suddenly holding her breath, worried by Hela’s such big closeness.

"No…" She repeated. "Because they don't want anyone to know the truth!" In one swift motion, she threw a bunch of daggers in the air, each one of them hitting the paintings above their heads.

(Y/n) could watch helplessly how ceiling started to crack and soon it started to collapse, with a deafening noise, parts of it falling to the floor, rubble and paint covering the floor around them.

“THIS is the real story of Asgard…” Hela said and (Y/n) dared to raise her eyes again, this time, heart almost stopping in her chest.

_No… It couldn’t be…_

The peaceful, colorful pictures of happy people were gone and her eyes were flooded with red, black and green, horrifying scenes covering the ceiling. They were no feasts, no people, no gardens, no dances… There was blood everywhere, Odin on a horse, with his sword raised high, the legs of his horse stepping on the skulls covering the ground. She could see hundreds, thousands of killed, blood, guts, bones scattered everywhere, when the troops of Asgard were mercilessly pushing forward, getting rid of everyone in their way, everyone trying to stop them, their way marked by death, destruction and pain…  _And that’s when she saw her. _ Yet another person, tall woman following Odin everywhere he was going, her dark hair and green eyes unmistakable.

“It’s… It’s you…” (Y/n) whispered.

“Yes… I’ve been there… I’ve been there when Odin, as his weapon and we were…” She hung her voice, something like a smile appearing on her face when she shook her head. “…_unstoppable.” _

“You were with him… You helped build Asgard’s empire…”

"Yes. I did. One by one, all of the realms became ours, Asgard's power growing, feared by our enemies. But then… Then he got weak… My ambitions outgrew his and he banished me, caged me, like an animal!" Last words were spat with hatred, when Hela turned around, a green light shooting from her hands, hitting the nearest wall. "And for what? Because I wanted what's best for Asgard? Because I cared?"

“But Odin is long gone and his sons…”

“They are no better!” She shouted, interrupting her. “Did they tell you? Did they tell you of their crimes, my sweet (Y/n)? Did Thor admitted to his disobedience? When he attacked frost giants, without a reason, killing half of them? Did he tell you that he was banished to Earth, to learn how to be a proper heir to the throne? Did he tell about the Aether? How because of his recklessness not only Asgard, but the whole universe was in danger?”

“I…”

"And Loki? Did he admit to his crimes? Did he tell you about all of the times he betrayed his brother? His own family? When he lied to Thor, just so he could be the king? Did he tell you about his little army of creatures that once attacked Midgard, destroying everything that got into his way? Or maybe he did admit that he banished Odin, pretending to be him?"

“I…”

“They didn’t, did they?”

“But… How do you…”

"How do I know?" Hela laughed. "Oh, there are things I know beyond your imagination… I've been in this world for centuries, I've seen the good and the bad… You can think many things about me, but you have to know one thing. Asgard isn't and wasn't innocent. Everything you see here, everything they achieved? It's been all built on a lie, on the blood of innocent lives, sacrificed in the constant battle for wealth, for power…" Her eyes turned to look at (Y/n). "So don't tell me they've never done anything wrong… Don't tell me they deserve the mercy when they have shown none!" With those words she turned around and simply left the room, her cape flapping behind her back, when with her eyes wide opened (Y/n) was looking at her figure slowly disappearing in the distance.

She wasn't sure if she was standing there for minutes or hours, but her eyes raised again and again, carefully shifting across the painting over her head, unable to avert her gaze…  _So everything she ever knew… It was just a lie. _ She got attached again, thinking that she had finally found her place again, that maybe joining Hela was wrong after all, that maybe it was time to choose the good side this time. But now… It only reminded her of all the lies, all the false stories, and promises… Her hands curled up in fists, jaw clenching when a determination appeared on her face once again. 

_She won’t be anyone’s pawn, not anymore._


	12. A VISIT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name

"Well, well, well… Look who honored us with her presence." Loki mocked when he noticed (Y/n) slowly coming from behind the columns. "My lady…" He bowed low, a mocking smile still on his face when he looked at the girl with despise. "To what do we owe the pleasure?" 

“I’ve came to talk…”

“Not interested…” Loki scoffed, turning his back to her and (Y/n) was already opening her mouth to answer him but Thor caught her attention.

“What do you want to talk about?”

(Y/n) cleared her throat, suddenly feeling nervous again, cold sweat on her back, when she approached Thor’s cell, swallowing hard. He was just looking at her, his gaze unreadable yet at the same time looking strangely sad, almost like he was a father disappointed with his child’s behavior.

"I know that nothing I will say will make things better and that probably you don't even want to see me…" She hung her voice, looking with the corner of her eyes at Loki's cell, though the younger brother was avoiding her, pretending she wasn't there at all. "But… I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for how things turned out… It's not what I wanted for you, for Asgard but… I didn't have much of a choice…"

“Why did you team up with her?” Thor asked.

“Hela?”

“She’s a lying witch, craving nothing but chaos and destruction and don’t tell me it’s not true and that she is good somewhere deep inside…” He finished, raising his brow when in the middle of his sentence (Y/n) wanted to interrupt.

“I know who Hela was, I know it perfectly…”

“So why? Why did you help her, (Y/f/n)?”

She gulped once again, her heart aching even more at the realization that she just fed them with lies over and over again, lying about her past, lying about her plans, even lying about her name… How many different choices she could have made, how differently her story would turn out if only she could change the past…

"I… I don't expect you to understand… But I've spent years on different planets, always a foreigner, always a prisoner, missing the home I lost and the one I couldn't get back ever again… Banished, being an outcast no one wanted…" She shook her head, taking a deep breath. "And that's when Hela found me, that's when she freed me, when she took me under her protective wings, when she gave me  _this_ , this illusion of having a real home again. They've been dozens of us, lost people with baggage all of us wanted to forget and all of us stigmatized by others. But not by her. She didn't care who we were, what have we done or where did we come from. She just needed one simple thing from us.  _Loyalty. _ And believe me, after years spent being a slave, warrior just for the entertainment of the others, of the rich, that was more than enough." She took a deep breath before shaking her head. "I had no ideas what her real intentions were, frankly, when I look at all of it now, she…" 

“She just used you all and didn’t tell you the half of things, did she?”

(Y/n) grimaced, looking away, afraid to look into Thor’s eyes, knowing that in her gaze he will see the confirmation of his words.

“She didn’t ever tell anything about killing anyone, about destroying anything…”

“What did you expected, though? That she will calmly storm into Asgard and ask for the throne and we will give it back to her willingly?” Thor scoffed, shaking his head. “You’ve been on this world for years, (Y/f/n), you should do the math.”

"Well, maybe none of this would happen if I wasn't betrayed by my kind first!" She scoffed, crossing arms on her chest. "Maybe then I wouldn't have the reason to hate you all."

"I don't know why exactly were you banished since you still refuse to tell us  _but _ I can assure you if they did it, they had their reasons…”

“Lies!” She screamed, her voice echoing in the prison, the strength of her sudden fury making Thor to take a step back. “They had no reason to send me away! I was never a threat to Asgard! Never wanted to betray it or leave it!”

“But the crimes need to be…”

“Is loving someone such a crime!?” She shouted, shutting Thor’s mouth for real now. “Is it truly enough to banish someone, making their life a living nightmare? Is having a heart now being punished in Asgard, huh!?”

She hated herself in that moment, she hated herself for revealing that much in front of them, for baring herself in front of people who were partially responsible for her situation she was in now. But mostly she hated herself for hearing her voice, packed with emotions she wanted to hide, packed with regrets, pain, sorrow and hurt…

"You've been banished… because of loving someone?" Thor blinked, not believing his ears.

“Shocker, huh? Couldn’t believe that your precious city, your precious people could condemn someone’s choices of heart?” She mocked, laughing bitterly.

“But… It must have been a misunderstanding, I mean…”

“Oh, believe me, _my king_." She mocked again, using his title. "There was no misunderstanding. I was trailed and judged, send to the banishment with no right to ever return." She took a deep breath and came closer to Thor's cell. "Through years I learned how to hate Asgard, how to hate its people for what they've done to me… So maybe it won't mitigate my behavior, but at last it will make you understand why did I have to make this hard choice…" 

“A hard choice!?” Loki snorted, opening his mouth for the first time since she started to talk and both her and Thor looked at him surprised. “You’re a traitor!” He hissed, coming closer to the edge of the cell.

(Y/n) shot him a surprised glance, her eyes opening wide before she threw her head back and started to laugh.

"Traitor? Me!?" Her eyes squinted dangerously when she came closer and looked right into his eyes, laughter dying on her lips and turning into a sneer. "Who gave you the right to judge me, if you've betrayed this city, those people, your brother so many times!?" She smiled with satisfaction at his surprised gaze, almost undetectable and yet letting her know that she did touch the sensitive string.

“How do you…”

"How do I know it all? Oh yes, I know about your actions, Loki. I know what you have done. Wanting to destroy Midgard, banishing your father, pretending to be dead and betraying your brother dozens of times… Should I continue?" With her every word she was coming closer and closer to the edge of his cell, never leaving her eyes off of him, seeing like with her every spitted word he flinched, almost invisibly, each thing she said being like a dagger right into his heart, reminding him once again of the past he tried so desperately to run away from.

"You know nothing of me and my motivations." He hissed, leaning down towards her and (Y/n) only snorted.

“And _you _know nothing of _me _and my motivations." She hissed, stepping even closer, her nose almost touching the magical barrier between the two of them. "You know nothing how it is to live far from home, among the people you hate, being treated like a subject, not like a person, being a slave with no free will…" 

“_I _don't know that?" Now he was the one to start laughing and he stepped closer, as close as the magic barrier allowed him and his cold gaze went right through her, piercing into her soul. "I spent years on a foreign planet, being brainwashed and tortured by a creature who knew no mercy at all, feeding me with hatred and pain I didn't want to feel, I didn't want to know at all." Though he tried to hide it, to cover it so badly, just the simple mention of it, the memory of those actions was enough to see a pure pain in his eyes again, almost like he had to live through the same tortures and pain again. "I had to do unimaginable things to survive, to live for another day, even if it meant betraying my own family!" He spat last words. 

“Then you should know best that I had no choice at all! Look at yourself! You’re saying you had to betray your own family, I at least didn’t have to go that far!”

“You’re one of us, Asgard is your family!”

"Not anymore! Not since they treated me like a criminal and made me leave!"

"Oh you poor thing, that's how the universe works! Nothing is fair! The bad guys won't get punished for their crimes, the good ones won't see the justice being served and sometimes you have to deal with whatever life throws at you! But that doesn't mean destroying the city you once belonged to!"

“So what? My motivation isn’t as good enough as yours was? Just because I wasn’t king’s daughter I have no right to be angry at being treated like a criminal? And the one I have never been?”  
“I truly can’t believe that any of the Asgardians would trail you for something like this…” Thor spoke up and (Y/n) turned around, her eyes meeting with Thor’s once again.

“Then maybe you have to believe… That you perfect kingdom has its flaws and sometimes there are things beyond your power…”

“Why have you never tried to come back?”

"I was threatened to never return, remember? Under the threat of being imprisoned forever. So I guess the choice was simple."

“Didn’t you miss anyone? Your parents? Family? Friends?”

For a split of seconds, something strange appeared in her eyes, this mysterious sadness, the regret, when the simple mention of people she had lost was enough to flood her with memories, probably the ones she didn't want to remember.

“It was a long time ago.” She finally said coldly, clearing her throat.

“Good excuse to help you cope with things you have done…” Loki murmured and (Y/n) felt blood in her veins boiling again.

She scoffed, turning around and wanting nothing more than to leave this place and never come back. She truly tried her best, wanting to apologize, at least hoping that they will understand her explanations and even if they won't forgive them – at least they will understand… But apparently, the only thing she could count on, was the constant mocking, undermining her motives and treating her like the criminal… Which on the other hand she was…

“You still have a choice…” Thor said silently when (Y/n) walked passed his cell, stopping just for the moment to look at the king. “I know that you had to make some bad and hard choices but… it’s never too late…”

"What if it is for me?" She asked, looking into his big blue eyes and for a moment seeing a sympathy and a long missed warmth, the one that only a friend can show to another friend.

“It’s never too late, (Y/n)…” He smiled to her, last words almost whispered under his breath and girl just smiled weakly, turning around and leaving the prison, nodding to the guard at the other side of the door.

She was already halfway back to her chambers, when suddenly she stopped abruptly, her eyes widening when she realized one little detail, the one that she missed moments ago. Just one word spoken silently, one word that now made her heart beating like crazy in her chest. She turned around and she swallowed hard, a mixed feeling of relief and anxiety flooding her all at once. 

_He called her with her real name…_

For the first time since she arrived in Asgard, Thor didn't call her (Y/f/n). 

_He called her (Y/n)._


	13. THE KING IS DEAD. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name

“Move it!”

(Y/n) watched helplessly as one of Hela's guards pushed the man, almost tripping him over and the whole square erupted in laughter at man's desperate attempts not to fall over. She furrowed her brows, looking with empathy at the man but at the same time realizing there was nothing she could do… For the past days Hela was bringing her order to Asgard right now and everyone trying to stand up or resist was meeting harsh consequences. Even her once most faithful servants were met with her anger if they even dared to open their mouth and criticize her or her actions. So they all learned it was better to keep their mouth shut, even against their own beliefs, even if it meant (Y/n) had to look at the suffering of the people she once called a family…

She had no idea Hela planned on bringing violence and anarchy, into this peaceful city. Yes, she told them many times that she wanted to regain the throne and yes, that she will sacrifice everything if needed, her being a rightful queen of Asgard more important than anything else. (Y/n) knew that it would probably require violence, that they would have to fight their way back but that once they’ll be successful, a new Asgardian queen will keep on bringing prosperity and peace to other Asgardians. _But no. _ Hela had other plans, wanting war, wanting destruction, craving the chaos and the look of fear in the eyes of her subjects. She was taught only violence and how to bring death; fear was the only argument she knew how to use. She was unfamiliar with other concepts, the thought of being nice and merciful to her people was repulsive. She didn't come back to be the nanny, to treat them like children who needed to be loved, protected and needed guidance. _No. _ She needed Asgard to be mighty again, feared by their enemies, being the most powerful place in all the Nine Realms. She wanted others to respect her, to fear her, to crawl at her feet, begging for mercy when she would grant them one… _Or not… _The fate of millions of lives would be dependent on her, the one move of her fingers deciding about someone's life or death.

Unable to control her own life for centuries, Hela wanted nothing more than to get this control back, but not only over her own life, _no, _ over _everything_. So she treated Asgardians like slaves, like unworthy dogs, with a satisfactory smile on her face punishing them for anything they had done, for the smallest crimes, or no crimes at all. Sometimes one unintended look might have been enough to decide about someone’s fate…

And now (Y/n) could only watch helplessly at Asgardians, all of their hope dying slowly with each day, the wrecks and shadows of the happy people they once were. _If only she had known what Hela was planning… _But would it change anything? Knowing that she planned on bringing war and chaos upon Asgard, would it change her mind? Would it make her choose differently? (Y/n) moved her gaze over the soldiers, gathering more and more people on the square and she sighed.

_Of course not… _

Frankly, she would probably be happy with the vision of Asgard in ruins, its people being hurt just like she once was. When she joined Hela she was nothing but a wreck of a person, hopeless, tired, empty and filled only with hatred. And Hela gave her life a meaning again, reminded her how it is to have a purpose again, made her realize that the only way to move on was the revenge. Revenge on people and on the city that made her life a misery. And oh, (Y/n) liked that vision… That vision of her, storming into Asgard like a victor, looking straight into Asgardian's eyes, with a smile, pretending, yet wanting nothing more than to tear their precious city from the inside.

But…

Could it be that somewhere along the way she changed her mind? Could it be that being nothing but a spy here, simply reminded her of a home she once had here? Could it be that her hatred she once felt disappeared, leaving her not empty, but filled with that warm feeling once again in her life, that warmth of truly belonging somewhere, the feeling of being… _Home… _ Among people who respected her, among people who cared for her, among people who made her feel like she belongs somewhere _again_…

Her gaze moved around, looking at the city slowly losing itself in the chaos and for the n-th time during those last weeks, she asked herself that maybe she made a bad choice after all…

“My fellow Asgardians!” Hela’s voice raised over the crowd and all pair of eyes looked at her, including (Y/n)’s who brought back to reality, started to pay attention once again.

"I heard rumors that you don't see me as your queen…" She hung her voice, eyes carefully scanning the crowd. "That you still think Thor is the one and the only precious king and I'm just the usurper who needs to be fought… Well, guess what… You king is dead!" She said and a shocked gasp went through the crowd, murmurs spreading around.

Hela just smirked, seeing the reaction her words has caused until finally, she waved dramatically, wanting attention once again.

“So! Once we’ve established that I am the Asgard rightful queen now, you need to understand that…”

But (Y/n) didn’t listen to her anymore, she couldn’t and didn’t want to, heart beating like crazy in her chest, still trying to process what she had just heard.

_Thor… Was dead…_

It was almost like cold claws grabbed her throat, wrapped around her chest, her heart, making her unable to breathe, unable to blink, unable to even create one coherent thought in her mind.

_He was dead…_

He was alive and well when she saw him for the last time, well, if being locked up in a cell as a prisoner can be a good scenario and example of well-being… But at least he was alive and as far as she was concerned, Hela didn’t plan on killing him anytime soon, busy with her other plotting. Unless… _She lied again. _

(Y/n) turned around and trying to cause as little attention as she could, she sneaked out from the square, thoughts whirling in her mind, cold sweat on her back.

_No… It was impossible… He couldn’t be dead…_

She entered the palace, breathing heavily, stopping for a moment in the middle of the corridor. When she last visited the brothers, when they talked, when she stupidly admitted to more than she wanted, when she realized that Thor recognized who she was… That was the last time (Y/n) truly saw him, the last time she could be sure that he was alive and well. But weeks have passed since that day and for all this time she was too afraid to come back, afraid of the further reaction for her betrayal and afraid how may he reacts _now_ , knowing, well, _probably _ knowing who she was. _Why, oh why didn't she come to visit, why was she such a coward, afraid of the conversation… _

She didn't even realize she was making her way towards the prison again, legs carrying her there almost against her head when she understood that only when she will see that he is gone, with her own eyes – only then she will believe it.

The guard standing at the entry didn’t even shoot her a second glance, his glance just lazily moved over her silhouette, oh yet another visitor, being the only attraction during his whole day while he was standing there… Trying to remain calm or at least pretending to be calm, she entered the dungeons and her wild gaze started to move around, looking for that one figure she wanted so badly to see.

“Lost something?” She heard another familiar voice and (Y/n) looked at Loki, still in his cell, eyeing her carefully.

_Well, at least he was alive and well…_

She cleared her throat and slowly approached Loki.

“Where’s Thor?” She asked.

“My brother?” He blinked, surprised. “You took him away a few days ago?”

“Me?”

“Well, not you, personally…” He rolled his eyes. “Your people, Hela’s people…” He shrugged. “Whatever…”

“Where did they take him?”

"You ask me?" He snorted. "How am I supposed to know? As you can see, I don't get any information, being locked up here…"

But (Y/n) didn't listen, she was swallowing hard, the weight of Thor's absence suddenly too much.

_They took him… He was gone… He was dead… _

"(Y/f/n)? Hey! What's wrong with you?" Loki asked her, shooting her a worried, well, maybe not worried, but a disturbed glance. "What happened to my brother?!"

“I… I need to… I need to do something…”

Not caring about his shouts, demanding answers, she left the dungeon, something grabbing her chest, her lungs, every breath met with this feeling of something strangling her, that limp in her throat, making her almost want to cry.

_He was gone and it was all her fault… _

If she would never come back here at first place, if she didn't agree on Hela's plan if she didn't let the hatred feed her heart… If, if, if… They were so many 'if' and she could regret many different things now but it couldn't change the past and stop blaming herself for the death of a good person…

Even if Thor had his doubts and suspicions about her, even if he never trusted her in 100%, he treated her with kindness, with respect, giving her a freedom, ability to do whatever she wanted, not even a single time treating her like a traitor or a prisoner. And even when she confessed to her crimes, even when she admitted to being a spy, even then he didn't despise her, like Loki did, as others did. _No. _ Instead, he talked to her, even tried to understand her motives and even… _Forgave her… _

_And now he was dead… Because of her…_

Because she was too stubborn to realize that she was no one else but Hela's pawn because she was too proud to admit to her own mistakes… And now? The first person in forever who actually showed her any kindness and now she was responsible for his harm… With a shock (Y/n) felt a single tear streaming down her cheek and she wiped it away, equally annoyed and surprised by its presence.

He was her friend once and even though she tried to learn to hate him, once again he became one, even if he didn't know that he became that one person she could always talk to, confide in…

And now, because of her…

_No!_

She shook her head, annoyed and straightened her back, raising her chin proudly. There was no point on dwelling on the past, thinking of things she could have done but didn’t. _No, _it was time to move on and at least try to make up for all the bad decisions she had made.

She turned around, to look at the corridor leading to the dungeons and she frowned, the look of determination on her face.

Maybe she was responsible for Thor's death, maybe she could have done at least a dozen different things to save him but right now there was another thing she might do. She could finally stop being someone else, she could stop playing the scenarios other people were writing for her and she could finally choose her path. And now…

_She could save the other one…_


	14. THE TRUTH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name

When Loki heard the first noise, he didn't even bat an eye. This palace, this dungeon were full of noises, full of screams and clinking of armor, the constant noises of explosions somewhere far away were something he got used to. So he just kept on sitting against the wall, lazily moving his gaze across the book he was holding in his hands, trying to focus on reading. But then the noise repeated again and again, bothering not only him but even the guards, who started to look at each other with unease. 

“Someone should check that.” One of them murmured.

“I checked the last time!” One of them protested and the other snorted.

"Oh come on, Gird! Are you a chicken? It's just noise!"

“Oh yeah? So why don’t you go and check it yourself, huh?”

“Okay, enough of that! I will go!” The third one offered and quickly moved towards the door.

“I see only one of you have guts, huh?” Loki taunted.

"Shut up, prisoner! Or I'll let Hela know to take care of you!"

“Ohhh, I am sooo afraid…” He rolled his eyes.

"Listen to me, you little…" Guard's threat was interrupted by a loud band and the first guard's body was thrown onto the floor, unconscious.

“Brennh? Brennh!” The two of them ran towards him, just to be shot by a ray of light and soon all of them were laying on the floor, not moving.

"Useful toy." Loki raised his eyes with curiosity which was quickly replaced by suspiciousness when he saw (Y/n) approaching his cell.

“To what do I own the pleasure again?”

“Move.”

“What?”

“I am trying to get you out you idiot!” (Y/n) rolled her eyes. “Now move!”

Being too shocked to say anything, Loki just got out of the way and closed his eyes when the girl raised a strange kind of a scepter, shooting a ray of light towards the wall of his cell.

The light was too brightening and Loki had to close his eyes and when he opened them, the magical barriers, were gone, leaving him a clear path.

"So what? Are you just gonna stand here, looking? Come on!" The girl rolled her eyes and moved towards the entrance.

Loki looked around, carefully, slowly, almost like he expected it to be a trap, just waiting to see more of Hela’s warriors coming out of nowhere, ready to capture him again.  _Or worse. _ But he didn’t plan on taking any chance. Carefully as he could he stepped over the unconscious bodies of guards and moved after the girl, having to run to catch up with her. 

“So, uhm… To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Shut up! We’re not safe yet!”

“So… Hela doesn’t know about your little mission?”

“I told you to shut up!”

Loki looked at her with curiosity, coming even closer, his every step mirroring hers.

"Interesting… So she doesn't know… Have you gone rogue? Did someone pay you? Self-consciousness was tormenting you late at night? Or maybe I am too charming to resist and you felt this urge to save me?"

(Y/n) turned around to him and in one swift movement, she pressed him against the wall, one hand grabbing the back of his neck and the other one pressing a dagger to his throat, one that almost magically appeared in her hand.

“Which part of ‘shut up’ you didn’t understand?”

“Maybe if you would ask nicely…” He grimaced when she pressed the blade even closer to his skin.

“Now listen to me.” She hissed. “Thor… He’s… He’s dead…”

“What?” Loki frowned, looking at her like she’s gone mad.

"I've just heard Hela talking to Asgardians at the main square that their king is dead and that now they're supposed to worship her, as a queen."

“My brother… dead?” Loki repeated, his hollow eyes looking at her strangely, almost like he was hoping that she will tell him it was just a lie or a big misunderstanding.

“I… I’m not sure, but… if she said he was, then…” She cleared her throat, blinking back the tears and her face turned into a determined grimace once again. “That’s why we have to get out of here!”

“So you could kill me too?”

"Are you out of your mind? No, you idiot!" (Y/n) rolled her eyes. "You're still a threat to her! Adopted or not you are still Odin's son and have the rights to the throne. She already got rid of Thor, who do you think will be her next target, huh?"

"So what? Now you're our ally?" Loki rolled his eyes, looking at her. "You think I don't know what you're planning?"

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re trying to gain my trust, make me believe you and when I will least expect it – you’ll betray me again…”

“Oh for sake! I was risking my life to get you out of this prison! Do you think I would be jeopardizing my position in Hela’s army if I want to betray you? Think again!”

“But…”

“There’s no ‘but’! We need to go! Now!” She finally released the grip, turning around to leave.

But before she could even make more than a step, Loki grabbed her, turning around, so now her back was pressed against the wall, hidden between the columns.

“Wha…” She started to protest, but he came even closer to her, his one hand covering her mouth.

"Shhh…" He ordered, pressing the finger of the other hand to his lips. "Someone's coming…" He whispered.

(Y/n) already started to consider biting his hand and getting free, but then she heard the steps, the same ones he heard just moments ago. Loud, heavy ones and a choir of voices belonging not to one, not two, but the whole group of people. Her eyes widened, all colors draining from her face when she realized how close they were to being caught. And this time there was probably no lie she could come up with to save their asses. She shot a glance towards Loki and in his eyes she saw the same fear of the risk of getting caught. The steps and voices were approaching them, being closer and closer and when they could hear them just behind the corner, Loki pressed even closer to her, trying to hide their figures in the shadows. (Y/n) swallowed hard, strangely breathless, suddenly realizing that her heart was beating like crazy in her chest but this time, at that moment, it wasn't just the fear of being caught. No.  _It was his closeness… _ She swallowed hard again, her eyes wandering over his face, almost involuntarily, almost against her will, taking him all in.

It’s been the first time she was so closer to him in years and the thought of it was enough to start thinking about all those moments they’ve once spent together, all those memories… She knew it wasn’t the place and time but she couldn’t stop them, thinking about his hands on her waist, his chest pressed to hers, his eyes… She blinked, ordering herself to stop, almost disgusted with herself right now.  _What the hell was wrong with her? _ She couldn’t be falling for him again, not now, not ever…

"They're gone." He said, bringing her back from her world of dreams. "I think we're safe for now." He added, laying his gaze on her face and taking back the hand that was covering her mouth.

“You could’ve warned me!” She snarled at him.

“And where would be the fun of that?” He smirked at her ad (Y/n) scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“You and I have a very different definition of having fun…” She pushed him back, finally freeing herself from his grip and regaining the distance between the two of them, the one she needed so badly to at least feel the illusion of having control over her own life. “Now let’s go!”

“Before we go… I need to know one thing.”

“What now?” (Y/n) sighed heavily turning around to look at him.

“Why do you hate Asgard so much?”

"I've already told you in prison, do I have to repeat myself?"

“There’s more to it, I can feel it.” He grabbed her wrist and (Y/n) froze, slowly turning her head to look at him, her gaze cold.

"Don't. You. Dare. To. Touch. Me." She spat and Loki just smirked, his hold increasing.

“Make me.”

"You just made a huge mistake…" With one swift movement she threw a punch at him but to her disappointment, he blocked it in the last moment, yet at least freeing her wrist from his grip.

Still blocking her hand, Loki tried to grab the other one but (Y/n) was ready, blocking him now, a smirk on her face when she saw a surprise at her meticulously measured blocks. She cocked her eyebrow, almost like she was silently trying to tell him that  _yes_ , he just met an equally skilled and cunning warrior who wasn't planning on holding herself back. For a moment they both held each other's gazes and then they started to fight. 

She was still trying to punch him, trying to find any open spot, a weak place where she could reach him, not only showing him that she was a winning side here but also to finally deliver that one punch she craved for years to serve him. But each of her tries were met with his equally clever blocks and movements, her every try meeting with his arms, covering his body and every shot for her.  _But at least she still had some kind of leverage, _ she thought when with satisfaction she realized that she was the one attacking, him only being capable of protecting himself, unable to get any kind of advantage.

“Forget Asgard. Why do you hate me so much, huh?” He panted, trying to avoid her fists, that didn't slow down even for just a moment, quickly making him breathless and desperately looking for any kind of leverage. "I have done nothing to disrespect you! And you don't even know me!"

_I do! I fucking do!_

Oh, how much she wanted to scream it right into his face, how much she wanted to finally let him know that she did know him, that they both had a past together, how much she wanted to spit it all into his face, reminding him of how much he hurt her, how much he made her suffer… That second of hesitation was her doom. In one moment Loki grabbed her arm, twisting it and girl groaned with fury when his strong hold made her unable to move.

“Let me go!"

"Not before you tell me why do you hate me so much!"

"After everything you have said to me in the dungeons, doesn't it speak for itself?" She snorted, jerking her arm powerfully, the force of it making Loki took a few steps back.

"No, it doesn't!" He twirled around her, once again grabbing her wrists, holding her in one place. "There is a difference between hating someone because of his birth, because of his status or his titles or because this person said something hurtful…" He hung his voice, pressing (Y/n)'s back closer to his chest, making her even harder to move now, her attempts to break free unsuccessful so far. "…and between hating someone because that person hurt you…" He added and for a brief moment, (Y/n)'s struggles seemed to weaken, when his words touched that string right deep in her heart. "You don't hate me because I'm a traitor, because I'm a mischief master. You hate me because apparently, I hurt you once. The problem is…" He hung his voice once again, his breath against her ear, when Loki's mouth almost brushed her skin there, the man leaning down even more. "…I have no freaking idea what might have I ever done to you. Especially since we've never met before..." 

“Oh, you’re so sure about that?” (Y/n) laughed and one movement of her feet kicked Loki right into his tibia, the man moaning with pain.

The moment of his pain gave her that kind of leverage she needed to get away from him and to run away.  _But not for long. _ With one swift movement he grabbed her again and soon her back was pressed to the cold wall, her both wrists secured in a grip of his hand, right above her head. 

“Let go of me!”

“I want to know!” He hissed, his hand on her forehead and her eyes immediately rolling back into her skull, bringing back the memories, the one she kept hidden for such a long time and the ones she wanted to forget.

_A tree. White oak in the middle of the garden and a cheerful laugh when a golden-haired girl was running away, chased by the two boys, threatening her of things they would do if they'd catch her. _

_The cling of swords, blades meeting together when a young woman was trying so hard to block the forceful attack of a dark-haired man standing in front of her. Her long hair was braided back and her face showing nothing but pure determination when she groaned, hitting a man straight into his stomach. 'That was unfair!' he protested, curling into half, sword falling to the ground when she laughed, the crystal sound of it resonating in the air. 'You told me that when it comes to war everything is allowed' She laughed, teasingly cocking her eyebrow and raising her sword. 'Again?' _

_Lips meeting with lips, carefully, gently, tasting each other for the first time under the bright moonlight, hands almost blindly reaching for the other person, pulling her closer, their bodies meeting halfway, leaving not a single inch of space between them when they were learning each other's touch for the first time. Her hand clasping the endings of his hair when she was pulling him closer and his fingers, dipping between her long strands, freeing them from her updo, the river of long locks falling on her back._

_Stolen moments of happiness, when for a moment they could pretend there were no responsibilities when for a moment they could pretend there were no people except them, when for a moment he didn't have to be a prince and she didn't have to be a Valkyrie-to-be. All those moments in between, gentle brushes of hands against hands, fingers caressing each other under table, during never-ending feasts, stolen kisses in the dark, in haste, in rush, when they both wanted to feel the taste of each other's lips even for one brief moment, when nothing more was given to them. _

_The warm breeze on her face, the last rays of sun caressing her skin when with her eyes closed she was looking into the distance, awaiting a man that was supposed to come, to rescue her, to save her from the life she never wanted. But he never did._

That feeling of grief, pain, anger, and regret all came at once when Loki took an abrupt step back, withdrawing his hand from her forehead, their eyes meeting together. She was shaken, unable to form a single rational thought, unable to even understand what happened moments ago. She could only look at him, the gaze of those green eyes piercing through her when he finally started to realize what exactly did he saw.

_Memories…_

Her memories.

_Their memories…_

Loki opened his mouth and then closed them, his mind, his body flooded with memories, with thoughts, with  _feelings_ , the ones he thought were never there anymore. It was like being blind and suddenly seeing for the first time in forever; it was like being deaf and finally capable of hearing the sweet sounds the world had to offer. It was like being lost and in that one magical moment finally finding his way, that one missing piece of him hopping back into its place in his heart. He looked down into girl’s eyes again, his gaze softening at the sight of those crystal blue eyes, those he once loved so much. And his mind brought a name to his lips, a name he once knew and the name long forgotten through all those years that passed. 

"(Y/n)?" He managed to ask, with hope, with tenderness, before her fist met with the middle of his face.

_And then he was surrounded by darkness._


	15. REUNION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your Name  
(Y/f/n) = Your False Name

Only when Loki fell to the floor, unconscious, (Y/n) did understand that punching him that hard was truly a bad idea. She was now having a body of Asgardian prince, the one that should be still in prison, laying on the floor in front of her and she had no idea what to now.

She could still feel the rush of adrenaline pumping through her veins from the fight moments ago but also from the memories, those he has brought back, the pictures still fresh in her mind, almost like recorded in front of her eyes and frozen there forever. The memories of them, still being happy, still being together, the memories that now brought more pain and hurt than happiness and yet memories that once again reminded her of the good old times, when she thought everything was within the reach of her hand and when she thought that her life couldn't get any better.

She looked down at the man in front of her feet and she breathed out the air from her lungs, stored there for who knows how long.  _He remembered her… _ After all those years, one look into her mind, one look into her memories, their memories, and he remembered her in an instance, not only the name, but  _her. _ (Y/n) could see it in his eyes, right before she punched him unconscious and frankly at this moment she couldn't even decide how was she feeling about this, this situation too much to let her think clearly. 

She held her breath when she heard some steps approaching but sighed with relief when the same steps passed them, leaving both of them still hidden in the half-dark corridor. But they couldn't stay here for any longer, she had to move him somewhere where they could hide, at least for now, without being spotted.

She looked down for a tenth time at him and sighed, realizing that now she would have to drag him there… Rolling her eyes and cursing under her breath, again and again, she managed to throw him on her back, his arms hanging on both sides of her neck when she bent down slightly, moaning under the weight of his body. _Gosh, did she really have to punch him that hard? _Dragging his limp legs across the floor, (Y/n) started to walk, her mind working at the highest speed, trying to come up with any place where they could hide. She took corridor after corridor, the heavy body on her back slowing her down until finally, she chose one of the smallest and most hidden room far in the west wing of the palace, where with a groan she threw Loki's unconscious body on the bed. 

She threw him a glance, at his pale face, half of them now covered with his dark hair, falling across his face. She bit her lower lip, hesitating, with her arms crossed on her chest, almost like she was trying to distance herself from him, from his body laying in front of her. But after a few long moments, she sighed, resigned and stepped closer, her hand gently brushing away hair from his face. The corners of her lips twitched and as soon as she realized what was she doing, she took a step back, cursing under her breath, She came closer to the window where she wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes absentmindedly scanning the view outside. He wasn't supposed to know about who she was that soon… Hell, to be honest, she didn't want him to know at all. Because what was the point? They were both different people now, both of them with their baggage and she was a traitor, whose betrayal put him into prison in the first place… Why, oh why, did she have to get attached again? She sighed heavily, brushing away hair from her face, focusing on the view in front of her and trying to think of a way out of this situation. He had to run away, go far, far away, where Hela wouldn't be able to find him when he would be safe. He must have had some secrets places to hide, people like him always do… She just had to carefully led him out of the palace and then…  _Then what? _ Will Hela believe that she had nothing to do with it? And if not, what kind of consequences were waiting for here? Maybe she should run off too? Leave it all behind and run again, away from the pain, away from the hurt? But she was tired of running, she was doing this for her whole life and the thought of doing it again was just too much... She sighed heavily, standing there, in this one place, for seconds, for minutes, lost in her thoughts so deeply that she wasn't even aware of the moment when Loki's eyes opened.

His eyes scanned the room, slowly, carefully, almost as if he was trying to decide in what kind of situation he was and is he should been alarmed or not. And then he saw her,  standing by the window, her gaze slowly moving, looking at something outside, something that caught her eyes and didn't allow to avert her gaze. He blinked several times, his vision still blurry and he let his eyes move over her silhouette, taking her all in. She was in Asgard for weeks now and he was seeing her almost every day, but right now, knowing who she was, he felt like seeing her for the first time. 

_How the hell could he NOT recognize her? _

The girl he spent all of his youth years with, the girl that he managed to love so much, the girl who was his whole world and the girl he could never forget about… From the beginning he saw her, pretending to be someone else, he felt that strange feeling, like her whole person was pulling him, almost like she was weaving a web around him, the invisible hands grabbing him and pulling him closer and closer, making it unable to run away from her, from her charm. At first, he thought it was solitude talking, the feeling of being alone for too long finally too painful but now it all made perfect sense. 

Even if his eyes were blind, even if he was stupid, not recognizing her, it was like his heart did, choosing the same girl yet again, wanting nothing more than to be closer to her. She was his first and well, probably the only true love he had and he spent years trying to learn how to live with her, trying to learn to forget her or at least make the pain of remembering her smaller. And at some point he even learned how to shut the memories of her, how to not allow them to creeping into his mind in the most unexpected moments, he learned how to block every single picture he had and yet, when it all flooded his mind right now, it was like it never happened. Almost like those memories, those pictures, those moments spent together were always there and never forgotten.

“(Y/n)…” He whispered her name, silently, yet still loud enough for her to hear.

She flinched, her whole body suddenly tensing at the sound of his voice and she slowly turned around, arms crossed on her chest when she looked at him. Though her lips were still pressed together, in a thin line, her gaze softened when her eyes laid upon him.

“You okay?” She asked simply.

"Yeah. To be honest, I guess I deserved it, so…" He shrugged, sitting up and (Y/n) lifted one corner of her lips in a half-smile, yet looking back from him.

For a long moment they were standing there in silence, avoiding each other's eyes, avoiding saying anything until finally Loki cleared her throat, standing up from the bed he was laying on.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Hmm?”

“Why didn’t you tell me it was you? For all this time?” He frowned, taking a step closer and (Y/n) sighed again, once again crossing her arms, almost like a gesture of protection, a shield from him and his presence.

“I… I guess there was no point, you know?”

“No point?” He scoffed, taking another step towards her. “We’ve known each other for years, (Y/n). We’ve spent every free moment together, being practically inseparable, hell, woman! We even were…”

“It doesn’t matter now, does it!?” She shouted, interrupting him. “It was a long time ago and it’s all in the past. No point on dwelling on it.”

“What?” He took a few more steps towards her, brows furrowed even more and (Y/n) instinctively took a step back from him, afraid of his closeness. “No point in dwelling on it!? How can you say something like that?”

"It's been years, Loki! If I wanted to move on, I had to forget about things that didn't allow me to start a new life! Besides…" She shot him a glance, scoffing. "You tell me I could have told you who was I… But if you think we were so close once, how the hell could you not recognize me, huh?" She proudly raised her head, straightening her back, even though she could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

She wasn’t ready for this conversation, she didn’t suppose it will happen so soon and that it would come to this confrontation at all… It was supposed to be an easy plan, come, spy, report, attack. No strings attached, no remorse, no regrets. So why the hell from the first day she came here was everything so damn complicated?

“I… You… You’ve changed and…”

“I’ve changed…” She snorted, shaking her head. “That’s a hell of excuse for not remembering the woman you claimed to care for once.”

“Like you said it’s been years! You think once I learned how to erase you from my memories, it was easy to see that young girl in you!?”

“Erase me from my memories!? Huh, I see you’ve found a way to move on after all…”

“That’s now what it is about! Do you think it was easy for me? Living every day, thinking of a girl I have lost and I could never have!?”

“And do you think it was easy for _me?!_ You left me, Loki! Never tried to stop them from banishing me, never tried to find me! How do you think I felt, huh? With no home? Alone? Brokenhearted? Banished?" 

“Banished!?” Loki repeated. “So that story you tried to sell us in the dungeons was true?”

“Of course it was true!”

“So you’ve been banished because…”

"Because I loved you!" She shouted, words leaving her mouth before she had time to think if speaking them was a good choice and she could only helplessly watch as his eyes widened, looking at her with shock.

“W-What?”

"Valkyries had to dedicate their whole lives to Asgard and their king. Their whole hearts too. When they realize that I… I didn't put their beliefs in the first place, then well, they called me a traitor…"

“Because we were together!?”

“That’s exactly what I just told you! Can we drop that subject now!?”

“No!”

“No?”

“No! At least not before you’ll listen to my side of the story!”

“What side of the story?”

"Oh, I don't know, maybe starting with the thing I had no idea you've been banished!? You just… disappeared one day! One day you were promising me the world and life together and the next day – puff! They tell me you're gone, leaving no letter, saying no goodbye, leaving me wondering for years what have I done wrong!"

“They didn’t allow me to say goodbye. Or leave a letter. Or a stupid note even.”

“Well, but how could I know this!?”

She opened her mouth and then closed them, realizing that in the madness of this situation he was right.  _How could he know?_

“Well… I guess it doesn’t matter anymore…”

“It doesn’t matter!? For years I lived thinking you were the one who left me! And I had to learn how to live with the broken heart you left me with!”

“But at least you’ve stayed at home!”

"Home…" He laughed harshly. "Yeah, living in a shadow of my brother, always in the second place of everything and never being appreciated enough… That's what you call home, huh?"

“But at least you had one! And me? I knew that because of my choice I will lose Valkyries, that I will never fulfill that one dream I had, but at least I knew there was still something, _someone_, waiting for me in Asgard! I had hope that I could always come back to you, that one person I cared more than for anything else! But then… Then I was banished and I have lost everything. My sisters, my friends, my home… You…" (Y/n) sighed, rubbing hands over her eyes. "I hated you. Hated you all… I hated them for banishing me, for making me leave the home I loved so much! And I hated you, for not even trying to find me and…”

“I told you before, I had no idea they banished you!”

"What would it change, huh? If you'd known, you'd come looking for me?" She mocked.

“Yes!” His fist collided with the wall right next to her head and she flinched, for a moment thinking that maybe he even aimed for her. Her eyes widened at his gesture, moving across his face, something desperate in his eyes when he kept on looking at her. “I would have done everything to find you! You hear me, (Y/n)? Everything!”

He was breathing heavily, his hand still on the wall and ohhh, she was sure it must have hurt him, but it seemed like he didn’t feel that pain at all. His eyes were fixed on girl’s face, not looking back from her even for a moment and she was like hypnotized by his gaze, eyes wide opened, filled with half madness, half regrets.

“Everything…” He repeated, sighing heavily when he took a step back. “But they told me you’re dead…”

“And THAT’S what stopped you!?” She threw her head back and laughed bitterly. “Hearing a rumor?”

“I had no reason to believe otherwise! You vanished, leaving nothing behind so there could be only two explanations – you were dead or left me.”

“I would never give up on you, on _us _so easily! I would search through every single planet and realm, and only when I would find your dead, rotting body, only then I could believe I lost you… But until then?" She shook her head, sighing heavily. "But you? You wouldn't jeopardize your position and your life here, just so you could look for me… Unimportant details in your life and the one you could live without…" 

"That's what you think it was all about? That's how you see me? I've just told you if I knew I would do everything for you!"

“You say that now because I was standing right in front of you! And isn’t that you who once told me that actions speak louder than words?” She mocked, proudly raising her face, her gaze challenging him.

Loki opened his mouth and then closed it, his eyes squinting dangerously.

“If only I could, I would…” He stopped abruptly.

“You would what, huh?”

"I wish none of this would ever happen…"

(Y/n) blinked once, then again, trying to compose herself and not showing how much his words hurt her.

"So you regret it then, huh? Ever meeting me, ever knowing me?" With each word she was coming closer to him, until finally, she was right in front of him, her head lifting to face him, her daring gaze locking with his eyes. "Ever falling for me, remembering who I am… Tell me. Do you regret it?" She asked him once again and his eyes slowly moved, the intense gaze meeting her daring eyes.

How much she wished to decipher something from his gaze, to have a chance to get into his mind and just for a moment be allowed to know what he was thinking. But he was always good at hiding his true intentions, hiding his thoughts and after all those years she could see nothing but strange sadness when he kept on looking at her, saying nothing. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her breath ragged, when she was trying so hard to fight that anger still boiling through her veins.

"Tell me, Loki!" She shouted, her scream bringing him back to his senses. "Do you regret it!?"

“I don’t regret anything.” In one step he was right in front of her, hands grabbing her face, before he leaned down, pressing a kiss to her lips.

It took her a long moment to realize what was truly happening and once she finally faced the fact that Loki was kissing her, it was already too late and her own body started to act against her will. Her lips eagerly answering his kisses, moving against his mouth, slowly, hungrily, her hands reaching out to him, placing on his shoulders, one of her palms dipping inside his hair and her whole body leaning into him, wanting not a single inch of space between them.

It was madness, she knew it. It was madness that she was being here, with him, allowing him to kiss the hell out of her, her whole body aching for him, for his touch, aching for  _more_ . It was madness that instead of slapping him, she was willingly giving up to him, giving up to his kisses, wanting him to never stop.

Once she promised herself that she will hate him forever, that she will never get close to him again, that she will never allow him to find a way into her heart ever again, old grudges still unforgiven. And yet one single touch, one closeness was enough to throw it all away and forget about everything, wanting this, wanting  _him._

His hands grabbed her waist, placing at her back, pulling her closer to him, his other hand finding a way into her hair, tangling into her curls, brushing his fingers through them, when he kissed her again and again, never wanting to stop, once remembering the taste of her lips, never wanting to be parted from them again.

And only when she felt his tongue, parting her willing lips, asking for permission, she truly realized what was happening, the realization hitting her with all its might, almost like a cold shower and she abruptly took a step back, parting from him.

They were both breathing heavily, lips swollen from the kisses, eyes still looking for each other, almost against their minds and it took all of her willpower to step back and not to throw herself into his arms yet again.

“What the hell was that!?”

“A kiss?”

“And you think that this kiss will magically make all the past disappear and make me forget about what I did!?” She snapped her fingers.

“And _what _have I done, huh?”

“You left me! You abandoned me when I needed you the most!”

“Oh enough with that! How many times do I have to tell you that I. Didn’t. Know!? How many times do I have to apologize!? How long do I need to ensure you that I did care and still _do!?_”

„Well, well, well… Look at the happy reunion we have here…" They heard a voice behind their backs and froze in place, both of them realizing the danger they were in.

“Svan…” (Y/n) whispered and turned around, her eyes squinting immediately, hands clenching into fists.

“I’ve always told Hela you can’t be trusted but she never believed me…” Svan snorted, shaking his head and slowly coming closer to her. “She always assured me that she is certain about your loyalty and that I shouldn’t worry about you… Well, I guess I was right after all?” Raising his brow he shot a cold gaze towards her. “You are a traitor.”

“Well, like you said Hela does believe me. Who do you think she will rather believe? Me? Her faithful spy who never did anything against her? Or you? A reckless, unpredictable jerk, hated by everyone?” She snorted.

(Y/n) was well aware of the dangerous game she was playing, teasing him like that but at this point, she had no other plan. She was caught red-handed, with Asgardian prince in the same room, not a single scratch on them, so she couldn't even come up with a story of him attacking her and her trying to get free… Besides, Svan wanted to believe in her betrayal so much so he would never believe her anyway… So the only thing she could do was to stall him and maybe try to fight him and win, getting rid of the liability he was. But Svan was eyeing her carefully, almost like he was thinking about his options too.

“Well… You’ve been caught hiding Asgardian prince, who was supposed to be in jail right now… I think it speaks for itself?”

“First you have to live long enough to tell anyone that… And give them the proof…”

“Was that a threat?” His eyes narrowed even more, when he took another step, hand already reaching for the dagger next to his belt.

"Stating a fact…" She shrugged, her hand clenching around her dagger, eyes never leaving Svan standing in front of her.

“Perhaps we could…” Loki took a step towards them but one movement of (Y/n)’s hand stopped him in place.

“Step back!” She ordered.

“But, (Y/n), I could…”

“Ohhh, so he knows your real name? Already making friends here?” Svan mocked, his lips arching in a smirk full of despise. “Or maybe he’s your ex-lover, the one that caused your banishment, huh?’

“You know what always was your problem, Svan?” (Y/n) rolled her eyes. “You talk too much!” With last sentence she took out her weapon and launched at him, surprised Svan taking a step back, not expecting the sudden attack.

He jumped back, in the last moment avoiding her dagger and clumsily regained his balance, reaching for his weapon. He bared his teeth and looked at his opponent. (Y/n) was eyeing him carefully, eyes squinted, grip on her dagger firm and steady when finally they both started to move in circles. They looked like animals, just before the attack, just looking at each other, moving slowly, step after step, trying to find any leverage and weak point in opponent's cover. Until finally Svan screamed and attacked, with fury, but (Y/n) smoothly took a step away, avoiding his blow and moving to stand on the other side of the room.

“Running away, like a coward you are!?” Svan hissed, raising his dagger.

"No, just being smarter than you and thinking of a tactic before attacking." She mocked and Svan threw himself at her again.

Yet, again, she was faster and moved away, with a one clean movement slicing skin on his arm when she was twirling around his silhouette.

“You bitch!”

He was ready for another attack, when suddenly his body went limp and he fell to the floor, much to (Y/n)'s surprise. She raised her eyes and saw Loki, heavy vase in his hands, the one he had used to knock Svan unconscious.

"I was getting annoyed by him." He shrugged and to his surprise, (Y/n) snorted with amusement.

“He may wake up any moment. We have to go.”

“Where?”

“I don't know, somewhere! You know the gates between worlds, maybe we won't escape for long, but we will buy ourselves some time.”

“This isn't a solution!”

"Well, do you have any better idea? Because even if we will get rid of Svan, more of them will come and Hela isn't stupid, she will add two plus two and know I was behind all of this."

“But maybe we...”

He was interrupted by screams and loud steps approaching their room.

“They're already coming...” (Y/n) whispered. “Svan must have told the others!”

"So what now?"

“You run!”

“What?”

“You heard me! You have to run!”

“What? (Y/n), no, I...”

“Thor is dead, Loki! We can’t risk losing you too! We need you to stop Hela!”

“But…”

“There’s no time! I can handle myself, I will handle myself!” She assured, shooting him a long glance.

Their eyes met for a moment, that strange silent understanding between them. Loki was already opening his mouth but (Y/n) just shook her head.

“She will kill you, but I still may stand a chance! Go!”

Loki seemed like he wanted to look something else, but finally, he nodded.

With mixed feelings, (Y/n) was watching him run away, shooting her one last look. Part of her wanted to run away after him, that feeling of being abandoned, left by him, all too familiar. But at the same time, she could feel the relief that at least he will get away from here, that even if she will have to sacrifice herself, at least he will be alive and well…

"Stop!" The invisible force threw (Y/n) at the wall and the girl moaned, all of the air escaping from her lungs, leaving her breathless for a moment but at the same time giving her the chance to look at the situation she got herself into.

Svan was still laying on the floor, unconscious and Hela was standing over him now, hands placed on both sides of her hips and her eyes eyeing (Y/n) carefully, with something between disapproval and despise.

"I've never believed when Svan told me that you might be unfaithful…" She said, slowly approaching the girl, still glued to the wall by the same invisible force. "I was always ensuring him that you, my most faithful warrior and spy, the girl I saved from misery, could be a traitor… But now…" She eyed her, from the bottom to the top, lips curling into a snarl. "I see that he was right and you were nothing but a traitorous snake!" With a move of her hand, she threw (Y/n) flying and girl hit one of the columns, with a moan falling to the floor.

She was fighting for breath, her back and every limb being one huge ball of pain when she was helplessly trying to get up, her weak arms betraying her, ever attempt sending her back on the floor, with no strength at all.

"Scheming against my back… Pretending to hate Asgard, when the truth was you were always faithful to your precious city!" Another move of her hand and (Y/n) was thrown a few meters away. "And to think that I wanted to treat you like a daughter, to give you the rightful place next to me, to give you the strength, the power…" She kneeled next to her, grabbing her hair and lifting her face so she could look right into her eyes. "And now, my sweet (Y/n)… What should I do with you now, huh?"

"Just kill me…" (Y/n) snorted, putting all her efforts into that one sentence, not allowing her voice to sound weak.

Hela raised her brow with surprise and then started to laugh.

“Oh, my sweet girl… Death wouldn’t be sufficient punishment for you… Believe me, I am planning something much, _much_ better for you…” Lips lifted in a wide grin and Hela finally let go of her head, (Y/n)’s heavy head hitting the floor and girl moaned again. 

"Tie her!" Hela ordered one of the soldiers that came with her. "And lock her up in dungeons.”

“Dungeons? Wasn’t you promising her much worse fate?”

"Oh, believe me... Dungeons are just the beginning of what I'm planning for her… But first, there's something else I need to do… " Her eyes moved to look into (Y/n)'s ones before she smirked again. "First I need to find a young prince and get rid of him, once and for all…" She smiled even more when she saw fear in (Y/n)'s eyes, the one she couldn't hide anymore. "And once I'll get him back… I will bring him back to you, and you will be sitting there, watching, my boys torturing him, giving him a slow, painful, oh, so painful death. And then, when he will let out his last breath, when his lifeless body will drop to the floor, in front of your eyes, only when you will realize you truly lose everything and everyone, just like I once did… Then and only then, I will give you my mercy and kill you…"


	16. UPRISING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your name  
(Y/f/n) = Your false name

(Y/n) lost all the track of the passing time. She couldn’t say how many hours or days have passed since she was imprisoned, hell, maybe she was sitting here for weeks… But she couldn’t tell, being stuck in this prison, its walls strengthen by Hela’s magic, making it unable to even approach them by more than a few inches, every other step making her whole body ache with pain, unbearable pain. They were giving her food and water, just enough to keep her alive and in good shape, well, quite a good shape, but that was practically the only contact with the outer world she had. Her every attempt to talk to someone, the guard bringing her food or the prisoner sitting in the cell next to her, was met with the pure silence . For the first few days she was even frightened, that strange anxious feeling she hasn't felt for a long time, feeling of not knowing what the next day will bring, the feeling of the unknown, the feeling of being uncertain when will Hela come and fulfill her threats of killing her. Well, even not killing, but making her suffer in much worse ways… (Y/n) knew that death would be a blessing in her situation, the end of everything, no more torments, no more betrayals, not more fights. But Hela knew that too and that's exactly why she was probably planning something for her, something that will hurt her much more than death would. 

But the thought of being tortured wasn’t the one that made her stomach spasm and caused the cold shivers going down her spine.  _No. _ The worst thing was the thought of failing. Failing her friends, failing Asgard but most importantly – failing herself. Because of her Thor was dead, now maybe Loki too. And for what? Because of an old grudge she was holding and her blindness, when she wasn’t capable of truly seeing the kind of witch that Hela was deep inside?  _She was always a failure and will always be the one… _ At the beginning she even tried to track the passing time, count hours, days… But somewhere after the first week she simply gave up. It was pointless anyway… So she spent all of her days sitting in darkness, thinking, wondering, regretting… Regretting all of the bad choices she had made in her life, haunted by her past, haunted by memories, unable to think about anything else but the thought that because of her, her friends were now dead… The only people that ever showed her the true kindness and now because of her –  _they were gone. _ The days she had spent there turned into one eternity, the borders between day and night not existing when she could just sit there, and dream. And oh she did dream about many things, all of them being on the verge of reality and imagination. She had seen people, places, things she couldn’t tell if they were real or not. But those dreams were her only escape from the cruel reality she was put it, the only way to forget about her regrets, the only way to keep her sane and save her from madness…

_At least until that one night and one dream._

It was a nightmare, her, begin stuck in the middle of a roaring storm, lightning and thunders all around her, the ground shaking violently under her feet. (Y/n) couldn’t see a single thing, nothing except the dark clouds and fog around her, the only light was coming from the blue bolts over her head, each one meeting the ground over and over again. She couldn't escape, couldn't move, couldn't even breathe, thinking that's it, that's the way she will end up her life… 

_But then she felt it._

Pair of strong arms, lifting her effortlessly into the air, soothing voice whispering into her ear,  _oh, that voice so familiar… _ And the feeling of peace, of serenity, first time in forever, when she was pressed against someone’s chest, her tired and weak body welcoming the warmth and safety those arms were offering. She didn’t have a strength to open her eyes, partially afraid that if she will do, this beautiful dream would disappear and she will get stuck in miserable reality yet again. So she pressed her eyelids even stronger, holding onto this fleeting moment, into this feeling and before she knew what was happening she was falling asleep even deeper, her consciousness fading, the last thing she was remembering was the pair of blue eyes, looking at her face intensely…

~

(Y/n) slowly opened her eyes and her blurred gaze moved across the ceiling above her head.  _Oh, great, so she’s been transferred somewhere again… _ With a deep, resigned sigh she lifted her weakened body, propping herself on her elbows and looked around, her eyes slowly widening at the sight in front of her.  _She wasn’t in the dungeons anymore… _ Instead, she was inside a huge cave, laying on the ground, surrounded by faces of dozens, hundreds of people, not even batting an eye on her, almost like she was just one of them. And as soon as she took a closer look at their clothes, their faces, their hair, she knew exactly who they were.  _Asgardians… _ (Y/n) sat up, straightening her back, trying to figure out where the hell was she and most importantly  _why _ was she there? The last thing she remembered was the dark dungeon, the dream she had and now she was here…

“I see that you have woken up.” (Y/n) heard someone’s voice and turned around, looking at the figure approaching her.

"Heimdall…" She whispered, both intimidated and surprised by the man approaching her. But at the same time, she couldn't deny that relief and happiness she was feeling at the sight of a familiar face, bringing her comfort, after all those long weeks being stuck with her enemies…

Heimdall smiled, giving her the bowl filled with water.

“Drink.” He encouraged her and (Y/n) obeyed, slowly sipping the liquid, so welcomed in her dry and sore throat.

“Where am I?” She asked, giving the bowl back.

“I hope you don’t take it too personally, but I don’t want to give you the exact location. You know, just in case…”

“I understand…” She sighed heavily.

“But I can tell you we’re in a safe place. Hela won’t find you here, she won’t find any of us.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“We’ve been hiding here for weeks. Since Thor and Loki disappeared I had to be the one to rescue those I could. So I kept on bringing Asgardians here, women, men, children… Everyone I could save and who was willing to join me.”

“Weeks? I was in those dungeons for so long?”

“Yes. Almost three weeks.”

“Well, so I guess I should be thanking you for saving my life?”

“It would be appropriate, but I wasn’t the one that saved you.”

(Y/n) looked at him, blinking with surprise.

"No? But then… Loki?" She asked, his name was the first thing she had thought of.

“No, the prince fled the day Hela captured you and hadn’t been seen since then.”

“So who…”

“See for yourself.” Heimdall smiled and raised his hand, pointing into the crowd of people, gathered not so far away.

(Y/n) curiously raised her eyes, her mind racing, trying to think of anyone else who could be her savior. But when her eyes finally found the mysterious figure in the crowd and when she recognized the person standing there, she was sure that her senses were betraying her.  _It couldn’t be… _ She slowly stood up, her weakened legs having troubles with holding her weight for a moment, but all she could think of was the familiar men standing in front of her, the one she thought she will never see again in her life.

“Thor?” She whispered to herself.

His usually long hair was now turned into a short and uneven cut, but it was the same Thor she had always known and loved as a friend. The same red cape over his arms, the same armor on his chest and muscles on his arms tensing every time he clenched his hands into fists. But he was alive and well, in the middle of the crowd, his strong and deep voice raising over people's head and spreading across the cave, now reaching her ears too.

"…Hela thinks that she has won, that she broke your spirits, making you vulnerable. But she is wrong! You are strong, stronger than she thinks and she may live with the illusion that she broke you but I, your King, know better! I know that you love this city just as much as I do and that you will do everything in your power to protect it!" He hung his voice, seeing the effect his words had on the people gathered around. "We are Asgardians and we never give up without a fight! And now…" He raised his fist into the air, a strange blue sparkle shooting around it, as his eyes scanned the crowd. "…who's with me!?"

The roar of people that spread through the cave was almost deafening. The enthusiasm, the power, the strength…  _That was the true dedication of people fighting for something they believed in… _ Hela never had that and will never have. She might have had followers, supporters, but she will never have the true love and spirits of the people.  _Not like Thor. _ (Y/n) looked around at the people gathered around her, each one of them stepping forward and more or less willingly joining Thor's side. First, she was just surprised by the number of volunteers, nods of heads, low bows showing how much respect they had for their king. But when half of them crossed that invisible border and even more started to follow, her surprise turned into a shock and something like awe… Even after all the bad things they've been through, even after everything that happened to them, even if they were risking everything for the cause, they were still willing to do so, in the name of their king, in the name of their city, in the name of greater good. And her? She looked around helplessly, surrounded by less and less faces, suddenly realizing that she was standing among them just like one of them, somehow feeling like she was free to choose the side, free to decide what to do with her life. Free to decide whether to follow or stay here, safe, low, pretending it's not her fight. She looked down, hoping that no one will bat an eye at her, that no one will notice how torn she was, flooded by so many different thoughts, some of them telling her to go away and some, much quieter, telling her to join them… But how could she after everything she had done? After everything, she had promised to herself? One by one people were leaving the square until finally she was left there alone, standing in the middle, no one around her and the voice of people walking away slowly fading away.  _And suddenly all she could hear was silence._

Taking a deep breath she found the courage to look up and when her gaze met with the peaceful glance of Thor's blue eyes she was suddenly flooded with the wave of relief.  _So he was truly safe and sound. _ Not truly thinking and realizing what she was doing, (Y/n) started to walk towards him, her arms already reaching out to him, wanting nothing more than to hug me, wanting to make sure that he is real and not another illusion. But when she was just a step away, she realized who he was, the king of Asgard but also a person that  _she _ had betrayed and her arms suddenly fell, on the both sides of her body. 

“New haircut, huh?” She said, lifting corners of her lips in a smirk.

"Long story." Thor also smiled, coming closer towards her.

“I thought… Hela told us that you’re dead…”

“Oh, it takes more than just crazy sister to kill me, believe me.” He winked to her and (Y/n) rolled her eyes, but with clear amusement and relief.

"That's good to know. But still, I… I thought I will never see you again and after what happened between us the last time I… You recognized me there. In the dungeons." She raised her eyes, surprised by her bravery and looked right into Thor's ones.

“To be honest, I recognized you even earlier.” He admitted. “I also felt like you were hiding something from us and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I know you from somewhere…”

“So what betrayed me?”

“You don’t know that I was there… But I caught you once, wandering around the stables, feeding the horses and singing to them. And when I heard that song… It just reminded me of another girl I knew a lifetime ago, who was just as tender and caring as this one. After that…” He shook his head. “I knew that you both were the same girls.”

“But you didn’t say anything…”

"Why? Apparently, you needed a reason to hide your true identity and who was I to question it? But then, when you came to the dungeons…"

“I told you why was I banished…” (Y/n) nodded slowly and Thor followed.

“I wanted you to know that I remember, that I truly know you and… that I forgive you.”

“Forgive me?” Her eyes raised and looked at him, with such an innocence and hope that Thor couldn’t help but smiled even wider.

“Of course I do. We all make mistakes, even I did some in my life… Who would I be to judge you just by mistakes?”

“But…”

“No buts. Now – come here!”

“Come here?” (Y/n) raised her brow, not understanding.

"Oh come on, I know you wanted to hug me before," Thor smirked to her and (Y/n)'s brow ceased into a line.

“What? Of course not!” She lied, crossing arms on her chest.

"Really? So when you were almost running towards me, with your arms raised, there was nothing? Oh admit it, (Y/n), I knew you wanted…" He took a step closer, still smirking, but the girl stubbornly shook her head.

“Na-a-h!”

“Come here.” Without a warning he stepped towards her, reaching out and closed her in the grip of his strong arms, hugging her.

Her first impulse was to pull back, even punch him maybe, but after a brief moment, she smiled to herself, relaxing into his embrace.  _Oh, who did she want to trick? Of course, she wanted to, he was always giving the best hugs ever… _ With a smile she wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled into him, the strength of his embrace giving her the safety and comfort she didn't even know she needed. 

“I forgot how good hugger you are.” She murmured into his chest and Thor laughed, his laugh resonating in his chest, now pressed to her cheek.

“I missed you too, (Y/n).” For a moment they were standing there, in an embrace, until suddenly Thor cleared his throat. “Actually… There’s something else…”

“Something?” (Y/n) raised her eyebrow and took a step back, freeing herself from his grip.

“Something I got for you.” He stepped away for a moment, hiding behind one of the columns and frantically looking for something there.

Her brows raised even higher, eyes opening in surprise, when the thought of him getting her  _something _ was… strange, at least. She shot him a suspicious glance, worried even more when she noticed his lips curling in a soft smile, probably caused by her look, her face and eyes betraying how much she didn't trust him and well, his gift at this moment. 

“You got me something?” She repeated, hoping that it would be enough to interrupt this awkward silence.

"Yes, I found it and thought about you, so..." Shrugging he lifted his hand and gave her a pile of  _something_ , which reminded her... Clothes?

Did Thor, king of Asgard brought her clothes? Was it his way to tell her she wasn't dressed up properly? Or that her clothes were just rags? Her raised brows squinted, when she realized something between embarrassment and joy on Thor's face and for a moment he reminded her of a child who just prepared a perfect surprise and wanted to share it. Understanding even less than moments before, (Y/n) started to unwrap 'the gift' and once she got a good look on what was inside, her jaw dropped and she was just standing there, almost like frozen statue, in awe, eyes widening at the sight of things she never thought she'll ever see in her life.

"This is... This is..." She whispered, her finger trailing the outline of soft and yet strong  fabric, so warm and familiar under her fingers. 

_Valkyrie's armor... In her hands, she was holding a full Valkyrie's armor… _

For some people it could be just the bunch of clothes, armor which was made to be shown, not practical, something that was very easily replaced if needed, but for them?  _For her?_ It was more than that… It was a symbol, symbol of prestige, a symbol of being someone important, a protector of the king, protector of the kingdom, the finest warrior ready to fight and die for Asgard; a reminder that you did belong somewhere, that you were part of something bigger, that you meant something. The armor which was reserved only for the best, only for those who did pass all the tests, who completed the initiation and for someone who was proven to be worthy of it and worthy of being called Valkyrie. Just a bunch of fabric for some and  _everything_ for her. Her eyes were moving across the clothes and for all this time she could still feel Thor’s gaze on her and even without looking at him, she could swear he was smiling.  _She knew him that well to know that he was doing it for sure…_

"But...” She shook her head, finally daring to open her mouth. “Where did you find it? I thought… I thought they were all gone…"

"In one of the vaults. I was looking for some weapon, well, at least those that Hela hasn't fou nd yet and I came upon this." He shrugged. "Oh! And this of course!" His other hand reached out behind, pulling something from behind his back, giving her a sword. But not just any kind of sword. The Dragonfang. 

Yet another part of being a Valkyrie, another part of the armor, maybe even more important than clothes... A weapon meant to kill, to fight enemies, a weapon made to be Valkyrie's faithful companion, something they shouldn't part with even for just a moment. To be honest she never even had it in her hand, only watched it from far away, in awe of how perfect it seemed back then and well, how perfect it still looked… Hesitantly, (Y/n) reached out to touch it, afraid that her single touch would somehow destroy it, that one touch of someone unworthy will make it dissolve into nothing. Her fingers brushed the blade carefully, with surprise feeling how sharp it still was and almost feeling that strange power that seemed to flow through it, even at her one simple touch. That incomparable bond between the warrior and its sword, almost like the simple metal was a living being, forever joined with its owner. Not truly realizing what she was doing, (Y/n) grabbed the handle and raised the sword in the air, rays of sun reflecting in it. It was weighing almost nothing in her hand, perfectly balanced, feeling almost like a toy and yet being extremely dangerous, just one swift movement of her trained arm would be enough to send someone to Valhalla. She turned the blade around, watching it carefully until finally she saw her reflection in the polished blade and that's when she realized of her place.  _She wasn’t worth it. _ She isn't a Valkyrie and she never was. She wasn't allowed to even touch the sword, let alone yield it and fight with it… 

"I... I can't take it." She said finally, lowering the sword.

"What?” Thor’s eyes opened with surprise. “Why?”

"I... I never completed my training, never went through the ritual and the initiation... I was never truly a Valkyrie and I can't have these. I am not worth it." She shrugged, trying to give him the clothes back, but Thor just sighed, shaking his head.

"It's not about being worth it, (Y/n)..."

"But it is!” She raised her voice, scoffing. “I committed a crime and I betrayed my sisters and was punished for it, just like the law ordered! And then, when I came back, I betrayed this city…” she spread her arms in both sides of her body, “and I betrayed you..." She shook her head. "I'm everything but not worthy of having this..."

"You are worthy to me..." He said and (Y/n) raised her surprised sight to look at him, not expecting this kind of words from him. "Do you think you're the only one who made mistakes in life? Do you think you're the only one thinking of not being worthy? Do you think you're the only one that betrayed me?" Thor scoffed, shaking his head. “I can't count all the times when Loki put a dagger into my back. Metaphorically and literally speaking... I can't tell you how many times I thought I am unworthy of my title, of my power, of things I've been blessed with since I was born. I can't remember how often I did something I later regretted... But I've never,  _ever_ stopped trying. And you know why? Because I was forgiven. I was told there was nothing wrong in my actions, I was told that even Gods make mistakes, just like humans do, I've been told that trying and failing is only making me stronger, wiser." He took a step closer towards her and smiled at her gently. "You've been my friend once, (Y/n), that sister I never had... Well, I do have one, but she's a witch so let's say that doesn't count..." (Y/n) snorted at his poor attempt to make her smile. "But were and you still  _are _ one of the best friends I ever had. And even though others claimed you're unworthy, if others refused to see how important you are, if others treated you badly... I won't make the same mistake."

“But I _did _something regrettable, I betrayed something I believed in, I…”

"You mean Valkyries? That story how you've been banished because you chose your feelings over the blind obedience? I don't see it as any kind of crime…"

“But…”

“It’s been a long time ago, (Y/n). Valkyries, _true _Valkyries are no more. There are no laws binding you, telling you once again how to live and what can you choose and what you cannot." 

"But it's not even about Valkyries anymore, I… Because of me you've almost died!" (Y/n) shook her head. "Because of me Hela is now in Asgard, tearing it from inside; because of me everyone is in danger and made to fight a war that could have been easily spared! I am a traitor and a threat, why are you so willing to put all of this behind!? Just like that?" She snapped her fingers.

“Because I know _you, _(Y/n). The real you, the girl I've spent my childhood with; the girl that was sneaking with me into forbidden gardens in the middle of the night; the girl that was a fearless warrior and a brave soul." He took another step towards her. "I told you I forgave you, (Y/n). Betrayal, everything you have done - I forgave you. I can't make you do anything, especially against your mind, I even don't want to... But know this... You'll be always welcomed here." He took both of her hands into the grip of his own and smiled warmly to her. "But you're free to do whatever you want. Do you want to leave? Go ahead, no one would be stopping you, I'll make sure of it. You want to go back to Hela? Well, let's say I wouldn't call this wise since you've let Loki escape from under her nose and she knows it was you, but..." He shrugged. "It's up to you, you can join her again. But… If you want to fight with us..." He pointedly looked at the outfit she was still holding in her arms, holding onto it like onto her own sweet life." For me, you _are_ a Valkyrie. No matter if you've been officially called one or not..." 

“Thor, I…”

“Just… Think about it, okay? You know where to find us.”

“What are you planning to do now?”

"Attack. I won't wait and watch in my city being destroyed. I plan on taking back what's mine."

“But Hela has army…”

“I have one too.”

“But…”

“(Y/n)… I know that we might lose, I am well aware. But if there’s even one small chance to win, I owe it to my people to try and take it. No matter the costs.” He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I must go. But I hope we’ll see each other. If not now, then maybe someday…” With a smile he turned around and left the cave, following the soldiers that left minutes ago, leaving (Y/n) once again alone and in complete silence.

_What the hell was she supposed to do right now?_

"Not joining us?" She heard a voice behind her back and turned around to look at Heimdall's peaceful golden eyes, once again piercing through her, almost like he could see everything not only in her mind but also the deepest corners of her soul.

“I… I’m not sure…” She admitted.

“What’s stopping you?”

“Everything I have done… And all of the things I haven’t…” She shook her head. “I destroyed enough things already, maybe I should just leave and never come back…”

"I know that choosing an easier path is always a better way but… Sometimes the harder journey pays off." He said, standing right next to her, yet looking somewhere far away, almost like he was looking beyond the cave they were in.

"Maybe I am a bad person for thinking this, but… My people once hurt me, banished me, left me to die, never even tried to find me…" She shook her head. "I try not to think of it, I try not to remember, but as soon as I think about staying, the pain comes back and… I’ve sacrificed so many things, isn’t this enough?”

"When it comes to the people you love and the kingdom you promise to protect… No, it isn't." He looked at her again, with no emotions, yet simply searching for something in her eyes. "There's a portal here, in the caves. One of the many which could help you leave Asgard. But if you decide to stay… You know where to find us." He left her and (Y/n) was left alone,  _again._

She didn’t even need a second to think, her legs acted almost against her mind and she started to walk towards the narrow entrance between two rocks, the one that Heimdall pointed to her as an escape route to another world.  _So close, so tempting… _ Her route to freedom, another way out and a chance to start all over.  _Again. _ (Y/n) looked down at the clothes she was still holding. She could always choose this path and run away, something she was familiar with for the last years. The simplest path and most convenient one and yet…  _The cowardly one… _ And she was never a coward. But she wasn't a hero either… She was a survivor, always pushing forward, caring about no one and nothing on her way.  _Just herself. _ Why change now if for all those years her way of living was working out just fine? 

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) took a step.


	17. THE BATTLE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your Name  
(Y/f/n) = Your False Name

“I don’t like this.”

“You never like any of my ideas, yet you don’t come up with any brilliant ones, huh?”

“So what?”

"So until you have your suggestion, we'll follow  _my _ plan.”

“Wonderful…” Loki sighed, crossing arms on his chest and with furrowed brows looked around, almost like he was expecting Hela to appear out of nowhere, right in front of them.

“You’re no fun, Loki.”

“And I preferred your company when you were presumed dead.”

"Ohhh, look at you both…" Another voice joined them. "You just love each other so much." A female's voice was mocking and full of pretending sweetness.

"Now, can you kindly explain to me, why the hell did you bring her here?" Loki raised his brow, his sight sweeping up and down when he was silently judging the appearance of the girl right in front of him.

“_She _can speak for herself, you just need to ask kindly.” The woman snarled at him, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

“And _she _should remember about her place when being in the company of the prince of Asgard." 

“Oh please! You have stopped being him when you betrayed your own family and kingdom!” She rolled her eyes.

Loki raised his eyebrow even higher, clearly not expecting some random visitor to know that much about him and he slowly looked at his brother, a silent question in his eyes.

"She's Valkyrie," Thor explained, almost like this fact would explain everything.

“Oh great, yet another one…” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Another one?” Valkyrie’s voice was curious now. “There are still more of us?”

“Well, we know about one.”

“(Y/n), (Y/f/n)… Whatever she calls herself now.” Loki shrugged, squinting, trying to see anything coming from behind the horizon.

“Wait a minute, is this the same (Y/n) who was once banished from Asgard?” Valkyrie approached Thor, curiosity in her eyes.

"It depends on what you have heard…"

“There were stories about her… About a girl who had to leave because she fell for a man…”

“So that’s the same girl we’re talking about.”

“Wow…” Valkyrie shook her head with almost an admiration. “To throw everything you’ve ever known, risk your whole life, just for one man… I’m not sure if it was more stupid or brave…”

"As far as I know, it wasn't her choice. She was exposed and betrayed by her sisters." Loki suddenly said.

“We would never betray one of ours!”

"Really? Are you so certain? Because that's exactly what happened! She managed to keep the secret to herself, she would become a Valkyrie, and maybe she could have kept the love of her life as well. But  _no. _ It was all taken away from her when one of  _you_ told everyone the truth.”

“You can’t blame me for the mistakes of my sisters!”

“I am not blaming you. Just showing you there’s always more. And that you shouldn’t believe every story you’re being told...” Loki said.

“Why are you so afraid of this subject? Always so defensive? It’s almost like…”

"Like what?" His cold, green eyes locked on her and the question died on her lips when in his eyes Valkyrie was capable of seeing everything she wanted to know and everything he wanted to hide.

But he couldn’t, things always hidden deep inside, things always left unspoken now reflecting in his eyes, before he finally turned away from her, his face once again being almost like made of stone, no emotions visible on it.

“Will she join us?” Valkyrie asked after a few moments.

“Wouldn’t count on it.” Loki snorted. “She’s been Hela’s spy for all this time, she’s probably rotting in prison somewhere, or standing right by Hela’s side, ready to slit our throats.”

"Valkyries swore to protect their king! Does she have no honor to be the servant of pure evilness?"

“Ask her if you see her, I would love to know the answer to this question… Though she's probably dead already. She betrayed Hela.”

“Well…” Suddenly Thor cleared his throat.

“Well what?” Loki raised his brow. “I do not like your tone…”

“She didn't make up her mind yet.”

“Wait what? She's alive?” Loki's head turned around to look at his brother with surprise.

“Of course she is! I got her from Hela's dungeons and brought her to our safe place.”

“I was sure Hela would kill her...” Loki murmured, indifferently, trying so hard to hide the fact how this news affected him.

_She was alive. She did survive._

“And I gave her a choice. She was free to go and leave or join one of the sides, either ours of Hela’s.”

“You. You did what!?”

“I also gave her the Valkyrie armor, just in case she'd like to join us.”

"Just in… You gave her the weapon and left her there?!" Loki's eyes widened, even more, seeing that his brother just shrugged. "Are you insane, brother?!"

“Insane? Noo, I just gave her the choice."

"Yeah, the choice and the ability to kill us all if she'd like to!"

“I couldn’t make her do anything, Loki… I couldn’t tell her ‘fight for us’ because I’m pretty sure it would end up with her running away again. Best case.”

"Well, you're not wrong." Valkyrie sighed. "I would do that too."

“See?”

“So instead you decided it’s wise to let her do whatever she wants?” Loki kept on asking stubbornly.

"She doesn't wish us any harm..."

"Yeah, that's why she betrayed us before and it ended up with both of us in prison... And now being attacked by your older sister who's a crazy witch."

" _Our_ sister, Loki. And can I just point out how many times  _you_ betrayed me?"

"It was… different."

"Different how?"

"Because... I mean... It was just different, okay?” Loki ignored Thor and reached out for his helmet. “You always knew I never meant you any harm! Well, not for real at least..."

“Even back in Midgard when you literally stabbed me?”

“I did stab you before, not even once…”

“Fair enough…” Thor smirked to himself before eyeing his brother, who was still scanning the space in front of them, almost like he was looking for something, or… _someone._

“Do you wish her to come, brother?” He asked once again.

“Who?”

“(Y/n).”

“What? No!” Loki grimaced at his brother’s suggestion. “Why would I? She’s a traitor!”

"Really?" Thor raised his brow, still looking at his brother, who was strangely avoiding his gaze. "Does it have to do anything with her betrayal or are you just bitter because how your paths diverged once?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about..." Loki scoffed, still stubbornly ignoring his brother.

"Really?" Thor snorted, rolling his eyes. "So you don't remember anything, huh? How did we use to play together? Sneaking into forbidden gardens? Pranking people we shouldn't have?"

“I’ve never said I don’t remember it, I just… It isn’t important, at least not now.”

“So how you couldn’t stop talking about her isn’t important? How you kept on telling me stories about that girl who's 'hair look like gold when the sun reflects in them'? How you couldn't stop thinking about her and used to spend every single moment with her?" 

“He really said that?” Valkyrie grinned widely, shooting Loki a smile, which met with his grimace of disapproval.

"Well, congratulations, brother, on your wonderful memory. Consider me impressed.” Loki snorted. “Can we drop the subject now?”

“You cared for her once, Loki…”

“It was a long time ago…”

“You know what they say about old flames…” Valkyrie shrugged innocently, yet corners of her lips raised just barely, in a smirk.

“Well, even if, and I repeat, _IF, _there was something between us once… It’s long gone. I have changed.”

"She has changed too, Loki. None of us is a person we were once."

“Oh yeah. I noticed… She was a warrior once, knowing which side to choose and now she’s just stubborn, insufferable, traitorous…”

“You still care for her.” Thor interrupted him, grinning from ear to ear.

“That’s ridiculous!” Loki snorted.

"Ohhh, but you do brother!" His smile grew even bigger. "Despite everything you're telling me and telling yourself you still care for her!"

“I am not!”

“Liar, liar…” Valkyrie murmured in a singing voice.

"I am not listening to any of this nonsense! We have the battle to win!"

“And now you’re worried if you will see her again…” Thor teased him.

“Ohhh, that's why he looked at you so strangely when you told him she's alive!” Valkyrie smirked.

“Do you want me to stab you once again, brother? Huh? We can add one more time to the list…” Loki turned around to look at his brother, his eyes squinting dangerously and a dagger appearing in his palm out of nowhere.

“Touchy as always…” Thor sighed, rolling his eyes.

“We’re just telling the truth and he knows it but is too afraid to admit it.”

"Now listen to me…" Loki was already making a step towards Valkyrie when another voice suddenly has spoken.

"They're coming…" Heimdall said, interrupting their banter and both brothers and Valkyrie immediately turned away to look at the small dark figures in the distance, slowly approaching them. For now, they seemed to be miles away from them, silhouettes of people being far, far away, but they knew, with every passing minute they will be closer and closer. 

"That's it," Loki said, approaching and standing next to his brother. "The witch is coming."

“We knew it will come to that.” Thor squinted, his eyes scanning Hela’s army, approaching their troops slowly. “And we _are _prepared.”

“Too bad I don’t share your optimism, brother. We are outnumbered, some of our troops aren’t even the trained warriors, just… bunch of cowards who were given swords. We still have time to move back, brother. We have the ships, we can take people and fly away.”

"No. I told you. Asgard may be just a place like the father used to say, but it is our home. And I won't stop fighting for it until all will be lost…"

“Stubborn mule…” Loki murmured, adjusting his helmet and sighing deeply. “If I’m going to die today, remember that I will come back and haunt you, brother.”

Thor smiled and put a hand on his brother's arms, smiling to him even wider when Loki raised his brow with shock at the gesture.

“Arm to arm, just like the old times, huh?”

Loki's face softened for a moment and corners of his lips lifted in a half-smirk when he reluctantly nodded, turning his eyes towards Hela's troops once again.

“Just like the old times…” He repeated.

~ ~ ~

Hela’s eyes slowly moved across the army in front of her eyes and her lips pressed together finally relaxed, turning up into a smirk.

“Look at those fools…” She snorted. “They still think they stand a chance…” Leaning her right hand on a hip, she shook her head with something that could be taken even as amusement.

“But they do have more troops then we thought they would…” She heard someone’s voice behind her back and turned around, eyeing the unfortunate men.

"Do you doubt us?  _Me?_ ”

“No, of course not… I just… You promised they won’t even try to fight us, once they’ll understand your power, they won’t even try to resist. And now?”

"Oh please! They're Asgardians! Of course, they would fight, till their deaths, didn't I teach you anything at all?" Another soldier rolled her eyes, sighing.

“I am pretty sure they are not ready for the little surprise I got them…” Hela smirked suddenly, looking back at part of her troops, the one which joined her army in the last minute, thanks to her magic and thousands of corpses of dead warriors laid under the floors of Asgardian palace.

"We still are the winning side," Svan said. "They can try to beat us, but they never will."

“But they can cause some serious damage…” Arnisa said thoughtfully. “We must be careful if we want to limit the casualties.”

“I don’t remember asking your opinion…” Svan rolled his eyes.

“And I don’t remember you being my superior. So shut up.”

"Enough, you both!" Hela raised her voice just so slightly. "It's not the time for your childish banters! Not when only one small army stands in our way of dominating not only Asgard but the whole  _universe_ …” She smiled dreamily. “Are you with me?” She shouted and her army roared.

“Till our deaths!”

“So come on! After me!”

~ ~ ~

"Oh look, she doesn't only have an army of mercenaries… She has an army of undead too." Loki looked at his brother when Hela's troops came even closer and the size of her army almost doubled.

“Thank you for stating the obvious, Loki, I noticed.”

“Still think we can win this, huh?”

“Or we die trying.”

“Oh, that optimism…” Loki rolled his eyes.

"There's no place for optimism anymore. I can have faith in us, but I am not a fool and I have to remember that a failure is an option. I've never made anyone fight with me and for me. Everyone is here willingly. But if there's anyone who would like to change mind – I won't stop him. Everyone is free to leave, I won't judge you. Including you, brother." He gave Loki a meaningful look but he just rolled his eyes again.

“If it was your way of trying to get rid of me, brother, you have to try again. Didn’t work.” He crossed arms on his chest and Thor smiled to himself.

“Good to know I have you on my side this time.”

"Yeah, yeah, don't get too sappy, no time for this."

“Ready, boys?” Valkyrie came to stand next to Thor and raised her eyebrow.

Thor and Loki looked at each other and then at the approaching army and then almost immediately raised their weapons.

“Ready as we’ll ever be…”

And then both armies met.


	18. THE BATTLE PT. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your Name
> 
> WARNING!  
This chapter contains description of a battle, so it includes swearing, fighting, killing, mentioning of blood and violence. It is not too descriptive but if you are sensitive about any of this you may wanna skip some parts or the whole chapter.

(Y/n) loved the war once. Or rather she loved how the war was making her feel.

That exciting rush of adrenaline, her blood almost boiling in her veins, fast, hot, making her ready for anything coming at her; the way her sight and hearing were sharpening, every movement, every sound, every step making her spin her head, killing yet another enemy, saving her own life again; even the smell of blood, maybe not satisfying, yet so different, so metallic, was something she partially enjoyed, when the shades of crimson were everywhere around her, everywhere _on _her, reminding her how alive she was in that moment.

But now?

She didn't enjoy any of this, her heart was beating like crazy in her chest, but not with excitement, not with joy, but with pure horror and terror, as her wide-opened eyes were scanning the battlefield in front of her. Blood, bodies, limbs scattered around her; the odor of blood making her nauseous when she was trying to take it all in, resisting the urge to turn around and run back. She wasn't a coward, _no_ . But to think that all of this, all of this evil, violence… If only she would understand her mistakes earlier, if only she would realize how cruel Hela truly was, if only she’d seen the truth faster… Maybe all of this would never happen? She winced at the scream of terror right on her right, when of the Hela’s soldier fell to the ground, lifeless body still twitching before staying completely still. _Was all of this truly necessary_? There were good people around, good soldiers, fierce warriors, old and new friends, who’s path was chosen by someone else and all that was left for them was to blindly follow, hoping that this time, the end of it was worth it.

(Y/n) swallowed hard, looking at the sword in her hand, the thin, balanced metal almost making a sound when she raised it in one sharp movement, the blade right in front of her eyes. She couldn’t count all of her battles anymore, each one of them being yet another distant memory, all of the details blurring into one huge chaos. And now? Now she was in the middle of yet another battlefield, and even though her mind was resisting, it was like her body was almost drawn to it, drawn to the chaos, the violence and battle being the only things her limbs remembered. _At least now she knew which side to choose. _She took a deep breath and with her sword raised high she threw herself into the crowd.

~ ~ ~

“Loki, on your left!” His brother’s voice made him look to the side, just in the proper moment to notice one of the soldiers, slowly approaching him with sword already raised.

Without thinking Loki dodged his blow and whirling around he punched him in the base of his neck, the other’s man body lifelessly falling to the ground with a thump.

“That will learn you.” He turned his attention to his right side once again when the injured soldier struggled to raise his sword and attack him.

“Don’t you have enough yet?” Loki raised his eyebrow, dagger in his hands, threatening the soldier who suddenly dropped his sword and turned around, running away. “Coward…”

“I could use some help here?”

Both him and Thor turned to see Valkyrie struggling with three undead skeletons, her grip on one of them slowly weakening. Without thinking Thor jumped towards her, his hands grabbing the base of the neck and with a sickening crack, he broke his spine, head separating from the body as easily as in some toy.

"Thanks, guys." She panted, wiping away sweat from her brow and taking a deep breath, looking around. "It's not going too well, is it?" She sighed.

“I still think this is madness…” Loki shrugged.

"We don't have any other choice. We can't retreat now, we don't even have a place to go. What's left is to fight and win or die."

“Wonderful.” Valkyrie sighed, taking this moment of break to rest a little bit and look around the battlefield. “But being honest? I thought it will be worse.”

“Define worse.” Loki snorted.

“Well, I thought we would be dead by now?”

"Not on my watch." Thor's eyes squinted dangerously and little sparks of lightning burst out from his hands.

“But if we want to defeat her, we need a plan. And we don’t have one.” Loki pointed out.

“Oh but we do.” Thor shot his brother a look. “Not dying.”

"That's not exactly what I…" He sighed, when Thor ran to the nearest group of soldiers, not even paying attention to his words. "Ah to hell with that…" With a scream, he ran after his brother.

It was now or never, wasn’t it?

~ ~ ~

"Die!" With a scream, (Y/n) plunged her sword into the nearby skeleton and its lifeless body shattered into pieces. "Disgusting creature…" She hissed before spinning on her heel, just in time to block the attack of yet another zombie.

As soon as she got into the fever of fight, her body slowly started to remember everything she had always learned and known. It was almost like dancing, when you remember almost every step, yet just need to find the proper rhythm and choreography. And she was there, spinning, crouching, blocking, ducking, her sword being just a blur when she was moving unstoppably, one by one killing the soldiers standing in her way. All of the remorse was long gone, she didn’t care if it was a zombie or another person, like her. _No. _They were all here to kill her and to survive she had to kill them first… She was pushing forward, in full armor, powerful, merciless, dangerous. With her free hand she swept away sweat from her forehead and she was about to attack another group when a familiar and unwanted voice behind her back made her stop in her tracks.

“Well, well… Look what we got here…”

Blood in her veins froze and boiled at the same time, fear mixing with fury when (Y/n) slowly turned around, sword still raised as a protection and soon she was standing in front of her enemy, two pair of cold eyes weighing each other.

"Svan." She spat through greeted teeth.

“(Y/n)…” His voice was almost as sweet as always, yet emanating that terrible, emptiness, hatred, void. “I see that you are alive after all?”

“Disappointed?” She snorted.

To her surprise, Svan sighed heavily.

“You always got it all wrong… I never wanted to hurt you. I just hoped we could get closer to me. Because maybe you don’t see it, but us? Together? We could become something _more_.”

"You're lunatic. I can't stand being in your presence for more than a few minutes. How do you imagine _us _ creating _something_?”

“I gave you a lot of chances to change your mind…” His eyes squinted. “But I see you’re too stubborn to see the opportunity you were missing.”

“So what are we waiting for?”

“Nothing.” Svan raised his sword, eyes narrowing even more.

Without hesitation, (Y/n) screamed and ran towards him, the blow of her sword led by her hatred and anger.

The blades met with a loud cling, the force of both blows almost pushing them away from each other. But none of them gave up, swords still together, eyes locked on each other and hands trembling, when none of them wanted to be the first one to resign. Until the pressure was too much and both of them took a sudden step back, still eyeing each other cautiously.

“How is it? Doing everything you’re being told? Knowing you die just because a crazy person wanted to have the whole universe for herself? How does it feel Svan, to know you’re being used?”

“You won’t talk your way out of this.”

“I’m not trying to.”

_Cling. _Blades met together, a few quick blows, dodges and they were circling each other again, still waiting for another person to make a mistake.

“I should have killed you when I had a chance…”

“Well then, to all of your faults we can add being stupid, huh?”

With a roar Svan attacked her, but (Y/n) dodged it with a smile, slicing skin on his leg when she smoothly swirled. He cried out, more with surprise than with real pain and with a shock, he looked down at the blood now staining his clothes.

"You bitch!" His blows were angrier, messier, stronger, but at the same time, much more sloppy and (Y/n) realize that driven by anger he was not only stronger, but also less careful, and more vulnerable. Which was giving her a perfect opportunity to strike.

It was almost like dance, deadly and dangerous dance, the one that both of them mastered throughout the years. Each blow was carefully measured, each punch missing just for inches the face of the opponent, and the blades cutting through the air between them. (Y/n) couldn’t tell if it took seconds, minutes or hours, but soon both of their bodies were covered in sweat, mixing with dust and dirt on their bodies, yet their eyes were still careful, still alert, never taking their gazes off each other.

_Until suddenly she made a mistake._

Although she was focused on the man in front of her, all the other noises of the battle muted in her ears, she could still hear a single scream, a familiar voice calling for help and her body acted against her will, her head spinning around to look at the friend in need. It took her barely a second to take a peek and then look back, but it was enough for Svan. It took her a moment too long to realize what was he planning and before she could dodge, his blade cut the skin on her arm, _deeply. _She bit down her lower lip to stop the scream leaving her mouth and cursing under her breath she attacked again. Led by anger and distracted by the screams she didn't notice Svan's leg, right on her path and soon she was falling, her wounded arm hitting the ground and a scream escaping her lips when her body fell, the weight of her armor pinning her down. As soon as she tried to raise her head, Svan was there, a blade on her neck and a smile on his face.

“Surrender.”

“Never!”

“Then die!”

Before he stroke the last fatal blow, (Y/n) grabbed the handful of ground and threw it right into his eyes.

“My eyes! Bitch!” Svan bent in half, trying to get rid of the dirt in his eyes.

But (Y/n) was faster. She swirled around him and before he even raised his sword again, her blade moved forward and plunged into his flesh.

It was almost like time stopped when (Y/n) pushed the blade even further and Svan looked down, at the sword in his stomach, surprised, shocked, almost like he couldn't believe it was happening. And then he raised his eyes, his gaze meeting (Y/n)'s before she took her weapon away and Svan's lifeless body fell to the ground, blood flowing and slowly sinking into the ground. No matter how much she hated him, she didn't feel any kind of satisfaction though. Just another man, stupid enough to believe in something and blindly following a manipulative bitch Hela was.

“You brought this on yourself…” She said, looking down at the body at her feet.

She took a deep breath and took a second to look around. The hurt arm was still killing her but her job wasn’t done. _Not yet._

~ ~ ~

“Why. Won’t. You. All. Die. Already.” Loki drawled each word, when another two skeletons fell dead next to him.

There were too many of them, no matter how positive Thor was about all of this, the Hela's army still outnumbered them and even though there were more casualties on her side, they were still far from winning it all. At least his brother seemed to discover some deeply hidden powers, and was striking enemy after enemy with lightings, shooting straight from his hands. And to be honest it was kind of impressive, though they would need at least dozens of Thors to be sure they can win. Loki wiped away the sweat from his forehead, while his other hand threw a dagger into another enemy, killing him in the instant. But he didn't notice the soldier that was right behind his back, ready to pierce him with his sword and only his shriek when he was dying made Loki realize that he was just a blink of an eye away from his death.

“What would you do without me, huh?” He heard a familiar voice and turned around, eyes widening with surprise.

She was standing right behind him, smirking, sword in her hand, hair flowing freely in the wind, cape flapping behind her back and the Valkyrie armor hugging her body, reflecting the weak sun rays, shining almost like gold.

"(Y/n)…" He whispered, almost like he still couldn't believe that she was here. _She came… _After all that had happened, she came to help them.

“I think a ‘thank you’ would be appropriate, don’t you think?” She smirked to him, in that way trying to mask her embarrassment.

He straightened in front of her, his slim figure still much taller than she was and his eyes moved across her face carefully, almost like he couldn’t fully process that she was truly there, in front of him, flesh and blood.

"You're hurt." He stated when he noticed that the fabric on her left arm is covered with her blood.

“Ah, that’s nothing. I’ve been worse.” She waved her hand, ignoring the throbbing pain in her wound.

“And what are you doing here?” Loki asked after a moment of silence.

“Well, Thor and I had this little chat about forgiveness and second chances and…” She shrugged, looking down to avoid his eyes. “Here I am?”

“But why?”

"Because…" She shook her head before taking a deep breath. "Because finally, I realized that it's my fight as well. Because I _am _ Asgardian and I _am _Valkyrie and I don’t plan on giving up this city without a proper fight!”

“(Y/n), I…”

"Hey! Sorry to interrupt, lovebirds, but maybe you could leave the talk for later, huh? We could use some help!?" They heard Thor's voice and turned to look at him, his broad figure struggling with a group of undead soldiers.

“Lovebirds?” Loki raised his brow, embarrassed and angry, yet (Y/n) seemed to not notice it at all.

“Come on!” She cried, raising her sword.

With no hesitation they threw themselves into the fight, literally cutting their way through Hela’s army, killing everything and everyone that stood in their way.

“Are we gonna talk?” She asked suddenly.

“Talk? About what?”

“You know what…”

He looked back at her, raising his brow and shooting her questioning glance but when he saw her gaze, he suddenly understood.

“Now? You want to talk about it _now?” _His eyes widened with shock.

“We might not have another chance to do that.”

“We’re in the middle of the battle!”

“So like I said – might not have any other chance?”

Another glance shot into her direction before Loki sight, heavily.

“Fine. Though I think there’s nothing to talk about.”

“There’s nothing to… Loki! You kissed me!”

“So?”

(Y/n) punched another soldier, knocking him out and turned around to look at Loki, who was stubbornly avoiding her gaze.

“So that must have meant something! Kisses usually do!”

“You want it to mean something?”

(Y/n) opened her mouth and then closed them, spreading her arms hopelessly.

“Unbelievable!”

“It was only a kiss, don’t know why you try to look for something more in it.”

_It hurt. _ It hurt to hear him say all those things, when she _did _want this kiss to mean something more. Even if it took her so long to realize and even if it was all against what the reasonable part of her brain was telling her.

“Fine.” She said through her gritted teeth. “So pretend it was nothing. I don’t care.”

"Okay, that's it." Loki turned around and took a step closer towards her. "What the hell do you want to hear from me? Huh?"

“I don’t know? But maybe start with the truth?!”

"The truth? Fair enough. So what about the way you treated me after that kiss? What about the fact you were lying to me, since the beginning? What about the fact that you betrayed us?" With every sentence, he was coming closer and closer, almost like he had forgotten they were in the middle of the battlefield. "How can you demand the truth when every word you have ever spoken, every action you have ever done were just lies?"

“Not all of them!”

“No?” He laughed, but it was just this kind of mocking laugh, full of pain.

“I didn’t lie that night in the garden when I told you about my nightmares! I didn’t lie about liking spending time with you!”

“Ohhhh, already made me feel better, thank you!”

“I wanted to tell you the truth! Right before Hela’s attack!”

"How noble! I am truly touched." Another mock, piercing her heart, causing a mix of fury and pain to flood her.

“You insufferable prick! I thought I could have at least one, _one, _proper and civilized conversation but well, I guess that was too much to ask for?”

"You want the truth? Huh? The truth is that I kissed you because I wanted to. I kissed you because I thought it may fix the things between us. I kissed you because back then it was the only thing that would shut your mouth. And I kissed you cause I loved you once, (Y/n)! And I still do! Is this enough for you?"

Her sword fell with a clatter to the ground and before Loki realized what was happening, her arms were around his neck and her lips were pressing to his in a desperate kiss. He acted immediately, his arms wrapping around her body and pulling her closer, lips eagerly answering to her kisses, one hand circling her waist while the other dip into her hair. They were holding onto each other like onto their lives, forgetting about the battle around them, caring only about staying like this as long as possible. Their lips met again and again and again, each kiss growing more urgent, more hungry, more desperate, almost like they were trying to make up for all those wasted years. If it's possible, Loki pulled her even closer towards his body, arms closing around her tighter, almost like he was afraid that if he will release the grip, she will disappear, _forever. _They were a mess, a mess of hungry kisses, hands caressing each other's body, learning, trying, tasting, a mess of bodies pressed together, limbs tangled with each other, a mess of heavy breaths and silent moans escaping their mouths between the kisses. It was madness, they both knew that. It was crazy that they were here, in the middle of the battlefield, wrapped into each other's embraces like lovers; it was madness that instead of stopping this, they were still going on, unable to stop, still unsatisfied, still hungry for more, still afraid that letting go would make that other person disappear for more, long years.

“Ekhem.”

They jumped back from each other, startled, breathing heavily, their lips swollen from kisses and met with a smirk of Valkyrie, standing right next to them and probably watching the whole scene for a moment.

“I am so sorry for interrupting but could you get back to this once we will win the battle? Not in the middle of it?”

"We were just…" Loki tried to come up with any kind of explanation, but knowing there wasn't a convincing one he just frowned, throwing towards Valkyrie an angry glance. "And what are _you_ doing here? Shouldn’t you be helping Thor?”

“Planned to but found out there were more interesting things going on here.” She smirked again. “Now come on!”

Loki was already opening his mouth to say something more but when (Y/n) grabbed his hand, he closed them, looking down at the girl. For another second they forgot about the battle around them, their world shrinking down to each other until finally, (Y/n) raised her lips in a smile.

“She’s right. We have a battle to win!”


	19. THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/n) = Your Name

"We can't do this, she is too strong…" (Y/n) was panting heavily, with worry looking at the army of undead, rising from nowhere, more and more of them moving into their direction.

“Thor?” Loki eyed his brother, who was clenching his hands into fists, his eyes locked on something far, far away.

“If anyone has any plan… Or suggestions…” He started, before sighing heavily and looking at the people standing by his side. “Because I must admit, I am out of ideas…”

“I am _not _doing ‘get help’!” Loki said, crossing arms on his chest and Thor’s lips lifted in a tired smile.

“No matter how much I’m tempted, I guess it wouldn’t work anyway…”

“Wait, what’s ‘get help’?” Valkyrie asked, but no one bothered to answer.

“We threw everything we had at her, there’s nothing left…” Heimdall sighed, his still peaceful eyes moving slowly around.

"Actually… There might be a way to trap her." (Y/n) said and all pairs of eyes landed on her. "Hela was talking about her past,  _a lot_ and she was constantly remembering that…  _The darkness_ she was trapped in. I have no idea if that was kind of a planet or prison or what but once Odin trapped her there she couldn’t get away, not until he died and his powers stopped working.”

“But Odin is dead so it’s not like we can ask him to help us again.”

“No. But we can use someone else’s power.” (Y/n) looked pointedly at the man standing right next to her.

“Me!?” Loki looked at her as she was crazy. “I don’t have any powers to trap her!”

“You do, brother. Mother taught you how to use them.”

"No! Mother taught me how to use my magic for illusions, deception, how to lie, and change reality and most definitely  _not _ how to trap a crazy sister!”

“Can’t you at least give it a try?”

“What? No! Of course not! She’s more powerful than I am, I can’t do this!”

(Y/n) sighed heavily. The battle was going on for hours and they were out of any idea and any strength. Hela's troops were coming at them, constantly, and every time they thought they stand a chance and have a winning option, she was throwing a fresh troop of soldiers at them. They were all tired, breathless, wounded, and with no alternatives anymore.

“There might be another option…” Heimdall said suddenly and they all turned to look at him. “We could use Bifrost.”

“Bifrost?”

“Open the passage to another realm, place she was trapped in, or another forgotten prison in the universe, there are more of them around.”

"And then close the passage, not giving her any chance to get out…" Thor finished and a smile crept onto his face when he moved his gaze over his friends.

“Is it possible?” Valkyrie asked.

“It’s our best shot. And the best idea we have now.”

"I agree." Loki nodded. "If this won't work, then we will worry about what to do next."

“Fair enough.” Thor nodded.

"Any idea of how to lure her in?" Valkyrie asked.

“Like I said we’re not doing ‘get help’.”

“We don’t have to, brother. I have a better idea…”

~ ~ ~

"Why won't those idiots give up?" Hela angrily moved her gazes over the Asgardians, still strong, still fighting, still not surrendering. "Can't they see the fight is lost already?"

"I think they plan on fighting until the last of them will stand," Arnisa suggested, panting heavily and fixing her hair, covering half of her face after hours of battle.

"Idiots. Brainless morons. Blindly listening to Thor's orders." Hela hissed, with a wave of her hand sending a bunch of daggers towards Asgardian troops.

“If we could get rid of him, or kill him… They would surrender.”

“I know, Arnisa.” Hela snorted. “But as you see I’ve already tried to kill him _twice. _And this stubborn mule is refusing to die apparently…”

“Any plans?”

“We just keep going. Until we will kill every. Single. Asgardian. Scum.” She hissed.

“Uhm, my queen?” Another soldier stepped closer to her.

“What!?”

“I think… I think something is happening…”

Hela squinted her eyes and turned around to look at him. And that’s when she saw it. The Bifrost, pulsating with light, the unmistakable sign that there was someone inside it, trying to use it.

“The sword…” Hela whispered to herself.

This sword was the key to her victory, the only tool which would help her attack the other realms, the other kingdoms, and be the queen of them all.  _The conqueror. _ When Heimdall stole the sword and ran away, she was furious, knowing that her only way to total conquest was gone. But now… Now it was within the reach of her hand again. But why would they try to use it now?

“My queen?”

Her eyes squinted, even more, when the realization hit her.

“They’re trying to escape… Those cowards try to escape!” With a scream she threw another bunch of daggers and started to move forward, anger boiling through her veins.

“My queen!”

"I'm going to kill every single one of them. No one escapes from me! No one escapes from the fate I planned for them!" With fury she started to move through the battlefield, with a mere wave of her hand sending soldiers flying, her eyes focused only on golden capsule at the other side of the battlefield. She was almost like hypnotized when she pushed forward until finally she reached the Bifrost and stopped abruptly. Because the Bifrost…  _was empty._

Her raised hand lowered when she looked around, dumbfounded until her sight landed on the sword right in the middle.

“Here you are…” Corner of her lips raised in a smirk. “So irresponsibly left alone… Without supervisor… Shame…” She sighed theatrically and then laughed. 

“I wouldn’t do that.” She heard a voice behind her and Hela turned around.

Shock quickly disappeared from her face, replaced by another smile.

"(Y/n)… I was wondering when will we meet."

“Frankly, I hoped it will never happen, but I guess desperate times, desperate measures…” She shrugged, casually.

“And I hoped that you will rot in prison… Shame…” Hela sighed. “Now… Let’s make a deal. Let me take the sword and I will kill you quickly. Without pain.”

“The sword? Ohhhh, this sword?” In one quick movement, (Y/n) took it out and Bifrost stopped spinning.

"Wrong move." There was no sweetness in Hela's voice anymore, when her eyes narrowed dangerously. "But you were always the one who takes risks carelessly… To be honest I always admired you for that. You were fearless. Until you came back and believed in those stupid Asgardians again!"

"They are my family! A family I never had!"

“I was your family!” Hela’s scream echoed from the walls. “I took you under my protection! I taught you! I cared for you! I was the one who was by your side every day, not them!”

“Care? _C a r e?_ You call making me your killing machine, _caring?_” (Y/n) laughed bitterly. 

“You ungrateful, traitorous snake!” Hela launched towards her, but (Y/n) was quick enough to avoid her blow.

“I can’t let you destroy Asgard. Or any other realm.” (Y/n) gripped the sword even stronger.

"Once you believed in it! You believed in power, in a fight, in death. You knew that it's the only way!" 

“I did. Once. But not anymore.” She raised her sword and stood firmly on her feet. “And if you want that sword, you have to fight for it.”

"Fight? Fight for it?" Hela threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, my sweet (Y/n). I don't fight.  _I take.” _ With a scream, she jumped forward and in a blink of an eye grabbed her by a throat. 

(Y/n)’s eyes widened with shock, her mouth opening slightly but her hand was still gripping the sword, holding onto it with all the strength she had.

“You thought that your treason will go unnoticed? That you won’t get punished for your sins? You thought that I will forgive you, just like that?” Hela moved closer, her nose almost touching hers. “You were my confidant, my right hand and I trusted you!”

“Then… then you’re even more… stupid… then I thought…” (Y/n) breathed out through her clenched throat.

"You were like a daughter to me!" Hela screamed into her face, hands clenching around (Y/n)'s throat, even more, making it almost unable to breathe. "And now? Look at you!" Her lips turned upside down, in a grimace full of despise. "Weak, hurt, on the losing side… You could have been so much more… And now? What are you now?"

“A distraction.” Said a voice behind her back and Hela turned around.

“Oh. Brother.” She rolled her eyes at the sight of Loki standing a few feet away from her. “Came to rescue that little wench or maybe you finally got some bright idea and decided to join me?”

“I’m afraid I disappoint you. The first one.”

"Ah. Shame. Not that I didn't expect that. You are all the same. Pathetic." She turned her attention to (Y/n) again and grabbed her throat even more, which caused the poor girl to gasp for breath, her lungs slowly giving up when she was fighting for every breath, fearing the next one will be her last one.

"Now… I'll tell you exactly what I will do… If you won't give me it, I will get that precious sword from your cold, dead hands… Then I will kill all of the Asgardians, your friends, your loved ones, your so-called family… And then, I will open the Bifrost and conquer every realm this universe has to offer. What will you say, my dear (Y/n)? Will you give the sword willingly, or will you die in pain?"

For a moment there was dead silence until finally (Y/n) weakly raised her hand.

“Oh, finally some sense…” Hela smirked, loosening the grip on her throat.

(Y/n) bent in half, desperately gasping for air, every breath hurting her starving lungs and started to cough.

Hela snorted and reached out for the sword. But when she was about to take it, the blade started to flicker in front of her eyes, the whole sword moving, until it disappeared in green light.

“Like I said… She was a distraction.” Loki spoke up again, thsi time a hint of pure amusment in his voice.

“You!” Hela turned around. “You’re gonna pay for this!”

“I don’t think so.” The same voice spoke from her other side, making Hela twirl around again.

“You! How did you…”

“You think you’re the one knowing magic tricks?” Another voice, from another side.

"Well then, sis…" Another one.

“Think again…”

Hela helplessly turned around, suddenly surrounded by dozens of Lokis, each copy being the perfect reflection of its owner.

“Well then… I see our mother taught you some tricks as well?” She mocked, slowly regaining some of her confidence. “Now what? You just bought yourself a bit of time before I get rid of every single copy of you.” She hissed.

“And that was the plan.” The real Loki appeared behind her and put a dagger through her back.

Hela winced, looking down at the blade sticking out from her chest before she sighed heavily.

“You truly thought I will be killed so easily?”

“It was worth a try.” Loki shrugged.

“I told you it wouldn’t be so easy.” Thor joined them, appearing from the other side.

“Well, good for you, you told me.” Loki rolled his eyes. “Will you be gloating now?”

“Naah, just wanted to see your face when I tell you ‘I told you’.” It seemed like they didn’t notice Hela, who was looking back from one brother to another.

“I have enough of your stupid games! Die you damn Asgardians!” She threw herself towards them, but they were waiting.

With their joined forces and strength, it seemed like they were capable of holding her off, even if just barely. But at least they had her full attention and Hela didn't notice the small figure of (Y/n), who already got up from the floor and with a  _real _ sword in her hand, she was slowly moving her way towards the Bifrost. Heimdall gave her the detailed instructions, how to use it, and where to send Hela, so the only thing she had to do was to stick that heavy sword into its proper place. But with her wounded arm and hours of fight behind her, when she had to be careful not to catch Hela's attention, she felt like it was an impossible task to do. Gritting her teeth she raised the sword and slowly,  _oh so slowly, _ put it in. The cling of the blade and the sudden brightness caught Hela’s attention and she turned around abruptly, her sight full of anger and surprise at the same time.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

"Getting rid of you. Once and for all." (Y/n) turned the heavy sword and Bifrost came to life, swirling around them, faster and faster until it was all just a blur, a ray of light shooting through it, joining with the other side of the universe, the one meant for their enemy.

“Thor, now!” She screamed.

Hela turned around again, but she wasn't fast enough and one strong blow of Thor's fist sent her flying to the floor, right to the place where the passage was forming. She tried to stand up, but Bifrost was stronger.

"No!" She screamed, her nails scraping the floor when she was trying so hard to free herself. "No! You fools! I'm not done with you yet!" Another grunt of struggle, when she tried to grab anything but was still slowly pulled towards the bridge. "You will regret it! You will all regret it!"

The Bifrost was spinning faster and faster, the current of its magic stronger with every passing second, and yet Hela was still struggling, still somehow holding onto the floor, holding onto her life, her hatred and desperation giving her the strength she needed.

"(Y/n)." She spoke her name suddenly and the girl looked at her, expecting to meet the empty eyes, full of hatred. But instead, those dark eyes were looking at her with something  _else. _ Not exactly regret, not an apology, but something surprisingly softer, almost like at this moment she summed up all of the things she had done in her life and she realized that the chance she got, was once again lost. "(Y/n)… (Y/n), don't let them…" 

She didn't move, didn't blink when Hela's hand gave up and without another sound she fell right into the Bifrost, her dark hair disappearing in light.

“We have to shut it off! Before it explodes!” She heard Thor’s voice.

“(Y/n), take the sword out!”

And she did just that, the blade falling to the ground with a heavy cling and her own body, falling right next to it, tired, bruised, wounded, without any strength left. She took a deep breath and then let it out, brushing away hair from her forehead. Her eyes met with Thor’s and Loki’s ones. And only two words left her lips.

“We won.”

~ ~ ~

Heimdall effortlessly got rid of two skeleton's at once, moving away from the path of the third one and gracefully dodged the arrow sent by one of Hela's archers. It was almost like he was the only person not tired yet, still with the same vigor and energy fighting their enemies, only a few drops of sweat on his forehead. He knew the whole plan and trusted that (Y/n) and the brothers will make it work. Yet even though he seemed calm, his blows well measured and perfect, he couldn't stop peeking towards the Bifrost, his thoughts restless. He was well aware of the passage that was created, he could hear the screams, and then, as abrupt as it started, everything ended. Killing yet another enemy, Heimdall turned around, his golden eyes opening and looking far, far away, somewhere beyond anyone's eyes could ever go. He could feel like time has frozen, when he was just standing there, eyes scanning the universe, frantically looking for  _someone. _ Until finally his lips twitched and corner of his mouth raised, just so barely.

“Heimdall!” He heard Valkyrie’s scream.

But he already knew what to expect. He looked at his shocked companion, and the scattered bones of skeletons, which not so long ago belonged to Hela's undead army. But now? They were all falling to the ground, lifeless, disintegrating and Hela's troops could only helplessly watch at the horror around them when they were left outnumbered, scared and shocked men, surrounded by Asgardians troops. Until finally one by one, they started to lower their weapons, blades were falling to the ground, bows being lowered and arrows scattered when they all were giving up, hoping for nothing, but mercy.

_And then, they appeared._

Thor, Loki, (Y/n), the three of them bruised, hurt, tired, but  _alive, _ slowly walking towards them, and the closer they were, the louder cheer of Asgardians soldiers. Until Thor raised his hand and the whole crowd went silent. 

"The witch is dead!" He said his strong voice rising over the troops. "It's not a magic trick, not an illusion. Your queen Hela is dead!" He raised his brows, letting people murmur to each other, and when they became silent again, he continued. "I am not a monster like she was. And I say to you, all of her faithful followers – you can leave. You can leave, and no harm will happen to us. Your weapons will stay, but we will give you food and take care of your wounds before letting you go. But… But if any of you want to stay…" He ignored the shocked gasps of some of Asgardians. "If any of you want to stay, you're welcomed to. You will find aid, homes, place to live. But be aware! Everything you will get will be nothing else but a reward for your hard work! So those who wish to leave – go!" He pointed with his hand towards the Bifrost. "Heimdall will open the passage for each one of you. And the rest? Kneel before your king!"

There was silence for a moment, and when (Y/n) was starting to doubt if anyone will like to stay, then something amazing has happened. One by one, former Hela's soldiers started to kneel. But not only them. All of the Asgardians fell to the ground as well, showing their king the well-earned respect he deserved. Thor didn't even move, just turned his head to look at Loki and (Y/n). (Y/n) just smiled, but Loki mockingly bowed.

“Congratulations, brother. You did it.”

Only a dozen of Hela's soldiers didn't want to stay, refusing to bow down to the king that wasn't theirs. Soon there was a short line of soldiers, slowly moving towards the Bifrost, where Heimdall was sending them one after one back to their homes. Thor said something about "needing to remind their people about who their king is" and Valkyrie found herself perfectly in the role of the person organizing the aid for the wounded. Which left (Y/n) and Loki alone.

“So…” He started suddenly.

“So…” (Y/n) shrugged.

“What now?” Loki asked, approaching her.

“What do you mean?”

“Hela is defeated, Asgard is… well, Asgard again… And you’re free to do whatever you want…”

“Is there anything you want to ask, Loki?” She asked, raising her brow.

For a moment she thought that maybe he will back up again, pretend all of this what happened between them was nothing and they will be left in the confusing place they were now. But to her surprise, he took another step closed towards her, never leaving his eyes off her.

“I can’t change the past… I can’t go back in time and make other choices, no matter how much I’d wish to… And I guess I could never make up for all the time we have lost but… There wasn’t a day I would stop thinking of you and I know what you think, how could I say that if I didn’t even recognize you at first place…” He snorted, before shaking his head. “The truth is… The life without you was… No life at all and… I was simply living in this denial, my whole life, trying to hide the memories I had, trying to forget them, to hide them in the deepest parts of my brain but… I never could. I could pretend I did but they were always there, just waiting for you to come, waiting to reach the surface again.”

“Loki…”

“I missed you…” Those few words left his mouth effortlessly and a sad smile appeared on his face, when he reached out to her, his thumb gently stroking her cheek when he sighed heavily. “I’m not the same man I was back then. Not the same boy you knew.” He said quietly, almost with regret, immediately remembering all the things that had happened during those years, things she couldn’t even imagine. “I did unforgettable things… The things you would hate me for…”

"But I am not the same girl either…" Her voice was shaking when she placed her hand on his cheek, gently grabbing his face into her hold, his eyes looking up at her, almost with hope, that maybe even despite things he had done, there was still hope for him. "And there are many things I regret in my life but…" She hesitated, almost like she was deciding if it was worth it to end that sentence. "… but you are not one of them…" She finally whispered and Loki raised corners of his lips in a half-smile, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her nose.

“So…”

“So?”

“Will you ask me properly?”

He leaned his head to the right and snorted with amusement, shaking his head at the smirk lifting her lips in a smile.

“You’re insufferable, you know?”

“Yeah, well… I think I was called like that once.” She smiled, cocking her head to the side.

If it’s possible he moved even closer to her, their lips almost touching now, his face so close that she could feel his warm breath on her mouth.

“Will you stay, (Y/n)?” He whispered and a shiver went down her spine at the look of his eyes, locked with hers.

She didn’t answer. But when she threw her arms around his neck, when he saw the way her eyes lit up, when the corners of her mouth lifted once again, when her lips pressed to his in another kiss, he knew, that the answer could only be one.


	20. EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I wanted to each one and all of you for sticking with me throughout this whole series! Every kudos, every comment, every word encouraged me of keeping this going and without you all, it would never happen so thank you all and I hope you enjoyed this wild ride <3

He was standing at the same balcony as he always used to, his eyes scanning the grounds in front of his eyes, squinting slightly when rays of the bright sun reached them. His kingdom, his home, his Asgard. He placed both hands on the railing and took a deep breath, watching hundreds of people, rushing into different directions, just like they always used to do. 

A week has passed since the battle with Hela. A week full of despair and cries, when they were burying their fierce warriors, casualties they couldn't avoid, a week full of sadness, when families were saying goodbyes to their relatives and a week of repairing what was destroyed. And even though the city looked almost normal, sometimes he could still notice holes in the buildings, a lost helmet or bent sword, the last remnants of reminders of what had happened. Yet, it was all in the past, they were fine, they won and now they could only move on, living just like they used to. His eyes scanned the crowd gathered on the main square and then moved to the training grounds and he smiled, looking at his brother and (Y/n), circling each other, their swords meeting in training combat, just like the good old times… With only one difference, when they were stealing kisses from each other, apparently unable to keep their hands from each other. He smirked when (Y/n) suddenly kicked Loki right in the guts and he bent over, clearly in pain.  _Well, some things didn’t change at all…_

“My king.”

“Heimdall.” Thor nodded his head, yet not even turning around, knowing exactly who was standing behind him.

“I came to tell you that the last repairs of the palace were finished.”

“Good! That’s very good…” He nodded absentmindedly. “And what about Hela?”

“Last time I checked she was in the same place we put her in. Not even trying to get out.”

“And let’s hope it will stay that way…”

“I’ll make sure to inform you if anything happened, my lord.” Heimdall bowed.

“And what about my people?”

“They… They’re slowly moving on. Some of them still mourn, some others can’t accept the former Hela’s troops. But they are strong. They will move on and be fine.”

“We all will, my friend.” Thor smiled, lost in his thoughts again.

Heimdall smiled, bowing, and was about to leave, when Thor's voice stopped him in his tracks.

“You knew it was her…” It wasn’t a question but a statement. “When you let her to Asgard, you knew it was her.”

The guardian smiled, a playful grin appearing on his face, almost like he was a child caught on performing a great prank.

"Yes." He admitted, simply, coming closer to Thor and moving his gaze over the view of Asgard in front of them. "Since I heard her calling for help."

“But yet you still didn’t say a thing. Didn’t admit she was one of ours.”

Now Heimdall fell silent for a moment, his eyes looking beyond the horizon, almost like he was trying to reach someone or something.

"There was no point." He said finally. "I saw her and knew her heart was conflicted. I knew that she made some wrong choices in her life, but maybe with some time and right guidance, she would go back on the right path again. If I'd told you who she was, you'd probably try to make her stay, to make her a hero again, and scare her away forever."

“So instead you let her fall in love with Asgard _again._” Thor shook his head with amusement, his eyes wandering over the couple still sparring on the square. “And apparently _not _only Asgard…” He turned around to look at Heimdall. “I must say, I still keep on underestimating you, my friend. I finally need to stop doing that.” His lips curled up in a smile.

“That you should, my king…” Corners of his mouth raised as well, playful spark appearing in his golden eyes again. “That you should…”

~ ~ ~ ~

There was only darkness.

A cold, vast, empty darkness, with no beginning and no end. It was all around her, she was drowning in it, breathing it in, floating in it, feeling no weight of her body, almost as it has never existed. That black void, something she knew for years, for centuries and something she escaped from once.

She moved her hands, at least tried to, but it was like her wrists were trapped, held by this invisible force, invisible shackles, her movements limited to only small circles she could make. She blinked several times, this simple movement feeling like an eternity, each blink lasted long minutes or at least that's how she felt it. But no matter how much she tried, the only thing she could see was still the same void in front of her, no colors, no lights,  _nothing_ . 

She wanted to move again, one sharp movement and a second one, trying to free herself from this invisible grip, still holding her hands and legs.

She was still in Asgard moments ago, destroying it, just like she always wanted, bringing death and destruction to the city her cursed father loved and cherished so much and chose it over her, his  _daughter. _ And now? There was no Asgard anymore and she was still trapped in the same darkness she knew for centuries, the one she loved and hated at the same time. 

Her mouth opened, lungs prepared to scream, to let go of that desperate shout of fury, anger, the scream of a person who once again in her life lost everything, the calling of a woman who finally understood her fate, meant for her for the rest of her immortal life.

She was trapped here. In the darkness again, with nothing around her, but the emptiness, moving around her, humming something, that strange vibrations filling her ears in that never-ending silence.

There was only this darkness.

_But she knew that this time there was no escape…_

**THE END**


End file.
